


The Pawns

by angel_authoress



Series: mothman & spaceboy [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, Space Battles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-05-16 18:58:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 60,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_authoress/pseuds/angel_authoress
Summary: (SEQUEL to "The Game")Six months have passed since Zim was nearly executed by the Control Brains. Things seem to be relatively peaceful on Earth until Zim gets a call from an old "friend". The Earth is in danger- and it's up to an alien reject and a big-headed kid to to save it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's baaaaaacc
> 
> tHIS HOE
> 
> here we go lads, part 2 of this hellfic
> 
> I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY~

"Thank you for taking the time to meet me in person, captain."

Lard Nar waved a dismissive hand. "It's no trouble. Please, don't worry about disguises here. Feel free to be yourself."

Atra smiled shyly. "Are you sure? My true form can be… overwhelming to some people."

"We are quite familiar with your people. If this is uncomfortable for you, then by all means, go ahead and relax."

Pleased by the captain's generosity, Atra pressed the button clipped to the hem of her uniform and her Irken visage vanished. The green skin, the antennae, the Irken military uniform- all of it faded away and was instead replaced by a pale, almost translucent humanoid figure. Lard Nar could vaguely make out the long, slender blue arms and legs. Her face was more defined than the rest of her body, with sharp dark blue eyes and a smirk crossing her thin lips.

"Fascinating," he murmured. "As a being of pure energy, you can manipulate how you manifest yourself to others, right?"

"To some extent, although in this case I had to use a disguise. My body is not entirely physical, and is mostly an illusion of light," she explained. "Anyhow, let's not waste time."

He cleared his throat, feeling somewhat embarrassed at having been caught staring. "Of course." He leaned back against his chair. "The Meekrob Republic is a renowned enemy of the Irken Empire. Were you on a mission to infiltrate?"

"…No," she replied hesitantly. "I was a rogue. I thought… I thought we could do it..."

"…Do what? Take down the whole Irken Empire?"

"I had help," she reassured him. "Other Irkens who supported my cause.  _Defectives._ I even had other Meekrob soldiers that sided with it wasn't enough. The plan I came up with was falling apart. So I had to try and escape while I could."

"…I see. But the Meekrob people strongly believe in unity and strength in numbers. Why would you act on your own?"

"I… It's not important. I'll explain it all later. Captain… I know it was rash of me to act on my own, but I still believe that I can be a valuable asset to this team. You need someone from the Meekrob Republic on your side, to make the Resisty  _stronger_."

"That was my mistake last time!" he exclaimed. "My army was far too small. But you're right. Having someone from the Meekrob Republic… would be extremely helpful. We've always been on good terms with your people. But… if you are to join me, then there is something you must understand."

"What is it?" she asked curiously.

"The Resisty, and all parties affiliated with us… we are all a  _team_. Therefore, if you are to join us, you must follow orders. We make it a priority to respect the opinions of all crewmembers, but be warned that I don't tolerate insubordination on my ship. This is  _war_. One reckless move, and you could get your entire crew killed. So Atra… I must ask you… are you capable of following orders you don't agree with?"

Her glare was sharp, but his was sharper, matching her own ferocity. She found herself completely at his mercy in that moment.

She forced herself to swallow her pride. "…Yes. If I must… I will follow the orders I'm given."

He nodded. "Good. I'll take your word on that. Then Atra, I'm happy to welcome you aboard." He smiled politely and bowed his head as a show of respect. "However… even with you… it's still not enough. We need more recruits."

Atra grinned. "I think I know a few people who may be willing to help."

* * *

"GIVE IT TO ME, DIB!"

"IT'S MINE, GET OFF ME!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE ME THE REMOTE!"

"BACK OFF!"

Zim was currently laying atop Dib's back, struggling to reach for the remote that Dib was holding underneath his chest. He grabbed Dib's shoulder and forced the human to flip onto his back, the remote sliding out from under him and falling onto the floor. He lunged for it, but Dib was quicker and his arms were longer, allowing him to grab the remote right before Zim could get to it.

"What the hell are you fighting me for anyway?! You agreed to come over and watch Mysterious Mysteries!" Dib asked through grunts as he continued to push Zim away.

"Wrong, I came over 'cause Gir had control of the TV and he wouldn't let me watch what I want! Now obey your overlord and give me the remote!" He jumped for it again, but this time, Dib held the remote up high, too far for the Irken to teach.

Dib grinned tauntingly. "What's the matter, space boy? Too high for you?"

Zim's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You'd better lower that remote or else."

"Or else what?" Dib challenged.

"I'll… rip your face off!"

"Scary," he quipped.

Zim's angry scowl didn't waver, but he stilled, which told Dib that he was about to bring out his PAK legs. Before he could, Dib quickly tackled him onto the other side of the couch, pinning him onto his back. He tucked the remote into his back pocket and held down Zim's wrists, preventing him from escaping.

"I win," Dib declared with a smirk.

"Release me, Dib-beast! Filthy… disgusting…  _human!"_  Zim squirmed and struggled in Dib's hold, muttering incoherent curses under his breath.

"Nope." He leaned down, grinning at the alien beneath him. "I think I like seeing you like this."

Something about Dib's tone caused heat to flood his face, the same heat that caused his squeedlyspooch to flutter. He averted Dib's gaze, his cheeks now a vibrant indigo. "Release me before I blow you to smithereens."

Dib decided not to let the words 'blow you' cause his mind to wander.

As soon as he said the words he started to regret them, because it was making him feel hot in a weird way that he had hardly experienced before. Having Zim at his mercy in battle was one thing, but this… this was entirely different. This was something new. Before his could ponder on it for too long, he quickly released him, pulling the remote out of his pocket to change the channel to Mysterious Mysteries. Thankfully Zim didn't say anything else, and he didn't complain when Dib changed the channel, surprisingly.

A few moments of silence passed as Dib engrossed himself in the new episode. He had to admit, Mysterious Mysteries wasn't nearly as good now as it was when he was eleven. But still, it was one of the only constants in his life, and therefore he refused to let go of it.

Unfortunately, the peaceful silence was broken by the  _other_  constant in his life. "Dib."

He waved the alien off. "I'm trying to watch."

"And  _I'm_  trying to tell you something."

"Can't it wait until after this episode?"

"No. Shut up and pay attention to me, stink-beast."

Dib sighed. Could he not have just a few minutes of peace? "Fine. What is it?"

"…Look at me, damn it!" Zim ordered, and when Dib finally did turn to look at him, he saw that his blush from earlier hadn't yet faded.

"What is so important that you had to interrupt me?"

"…I… ugh, damn it all… I didn't want to do this, but this stupid thought wouldn't go away and it kept making my squeedlyspooch feel all funny, so… uh… thanks, I guess."

Dib blinked slowly. "You're  _thanking_  me?"

"Let me finish," he snapped. "Yes. I'm  _thanking_  you. For… saving me. And… for…"

"For..?" Dib urged, trying to get him to spit it out already.

"…It's nothing, forget it." Zim huffed and turned away, dropping their locked gazes.

_Now_  Dib was curious. "Come on, tell me. We're friends, aren't we?"

Zim flinched at the word.  _Friends._ The term used to sicken him, and it still caused an unpleasant shiver whenever he so much as thought of it. But when Dib said it, for some reason… he didn't mind it as much. With Dib, the idea of friendship felt… easy.  _Too_  easy. A part of him wanted to hate Dib for that, because every time he tried to reignite that old rage he felt from all those years ago… it wasn't the same. It was gone- or rather, it had changed. Morphed into something else entirely.

And it scared him to death.

"No," he lied. "We are… reluctant acquaintances at best."

Dib laughed. "Right. Well, I won't force you if you don't wanna tell me. Your call."

Zim was secretly rather thankful for that, as he found himself wanting to drop the subject entirely. It made him want to think about things he'd rather not think about. So, instead of pondering on it, he decided to watch alongside Dib.

"…This show is stupid," he grumbled after a few moments. "Seriously, he hears one little noise and all the sudden the house is haunted?"

"It was clearly footsteps Zim, and they're all on the bottom floor. That noise was coming from the attic," Dib explained. "It's obviously haunted."

"Oh  _please_ , you humans and your silly little theories. This show only serves as a way to scare people and give them false hope about ghosts or the hairy foot creature you go on and on about."

"Or alien life," Dib replied smoothly. "They were right about that, weren't they, space boy?"

"…Shut up."

Dib smirked and took that as a small victory for himself. He knew that there was a lot that he and Zim still had yet to talk about, and he also knew that it would come up eventually, whether he wanted it to or not. But for now, he was content like this. He hadn't had a lot of experience hanging out with friends when he was younger, so he was going to enjoy this while he still could.

* * *

_"This is Zim's voicemail system. As instructed by my master, please leave your name and your reason for calling. But I should note that if you aren't the Tallest or Prisoner 777, he's probably never going to call you back."_

"O-Oh… you are Zim's computer interface?"

_"Yeah, what of it?"_

Atra blinked. Had Zim programmed it to be so snappy? "My name is Atra. I am calling Zim to talk to him about a possible… mission. Where is he?"

_"He just told me that he had some errands to run, but I can guarantee that the master is over at the Dib-human's house. He's been going over there a lot lately."_

She stifled a giggle at that. "How interesting. Well then, whenever he gets back, can you relay this message to him?"

_"Yeah, I guess."_

"…Tell him that he owes me a favor, and now is the time that he can repay that favor."

* * *

Irkens don't need sleep, yet as Zim had come to find out, he's been doing it more and more as of late. Zim blamed Dib for that. Perhaps being around the stupid human was causing him to go native. He shivered at the thought.

Ah, that's right. Now he remembered.

Last night, the Dib had introduced him to "Netflix". And although he'd never admit it out-loud, he was secretly fascinated with it. There was such a wide variety of things to watch, and Zim was enamored with the large selection. He didn't know what to watch first, so Dib had settled on a random movie. He must have passed out then.

_"But the Dib-human isn't here…"_

Zim jumped to his feet. Admittedly, that rest period had felt good. He felt more energized than he had in a long time. Zim might just have to put 'sleep' on a list he liked to call 'human things that are still terrible but not as terrible as everything else'.

He made his way upstairs, and noticed that the Dib-sister's room was empty. She must be at school. He remembered Dib mentioning that he was going to start taking Gaz to school and picking her up, so it must have started again. Zim reveled in the fact that he didn't have to attend that wretched place anymore. Dib's room hadn't changed much from when he was little. He still had his stupid 'Mysterious Mysteries' posters plastered all over the walls. Zim had noticed that Dib had started decorating his walls with band posters and whatnot. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, human music was loud and screechy and it made no sense.

He was prepared to pounce on the Dib-thing's bed and scare him awake, but upon closer inspection, he found himself practically immobile.

Dib had a bad habit of talking in his sleep, as Zim had come to find out one night when they had been forced to sleep in the same room during a school field trip. But as of right now, he was completely silent, the only sound being that of his steady breathing. Zim couldn't help but pick up on how vulnerable humans were when they slept. He had learned over the years not to underestimate Dib, but right now, he looked so harmless, so exposed, so…

His mind was supplying words that he'd rather not acknowledge. Perhaps he w _as_ going native after all.

He drew closer to him, examining him. Sleep was a curious practice, and Zim had yet to conduct any experiments on a sleeping human. He knew better than to experiment on the Dib, although he couldn't deny that he had entertained the thought quite a few times. He noticed the way he drew in such even breaths, the way his hair swept across his forehead and the side of his face, the way the sunlight hit-

_Stop there,_ he told himself. That was way too poetic, and Zim did  _not_  do poetic.

Before anymore strange thoughts about the Dib's face could plague him, he decided to end things here. After mentally preparing himself for an awakened Dib, Zim grinned evilly and jumped onto his bed. "Dib-human!"

Dib abruptly sat up, his eyes flying open. Once his eyes found the source of the voice, he immediately relaxed. "Zim,  _jesus_ , you scared the hell out of me."

"I keep telling you Dib, I don't know this 'jesus' you keep referring to! Who is he?!"

"He's- oh, never mind. What are you still doing here? I thought you would've gone home last night."

"Foolish human, Zim doesn't have to go anywhere!"

"Right, of course." Dib sighed, running his fingers through mussed black hair. "God, I forgot to take Gaz to school this morning… she's gonna kill me when I go pick her up…"

"I will not allow that. The only one allowed to kill you is me." Zim stated it as if it were fact.

Dib pondered the thought. "Mm, I think being killed by you might be a lot less scary than getting killed by Gaz…"

Zim narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh I can assure you stink-meat, I will make your demise much more horrifying than the Gaz-beast could ever imagine!"

Dib grinned before reaching out to ruffle the alien's wig. "Great, I'll look forward to it." He then grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. "I'm gonna go take a shower. You can stay if you want, but I have to leave at around two to go pick up Gaz."

"Pfft, like Zim would willingly stay here any longer than necessary. I need to return home. It's dangerous to leave Gir unattended for more than 24 hours. You remember what happened last time."

Dib shuddered at the memory. "Right. Yeah. Go check on him."

Zim pushed open Dib's window and extended his PAK legs. He never had been one for using the front door.

"Oh, and Zim?"

"What?"

"Thanks. For staying the night, and stuff."

"…Whatever. Don't expect it to happen again."

Dib knew that was complete and total bullshit, but didn't argue further as Zim descended from the window.

* * *

_"Master, you have one missed call."_

"A missed call? Is it Prisoner 777? I haven't talked to him in forever…"

_"Master, you released his children long ago, therefore he doesn't contact you anymore."_

"Oh. Right. Well, who was it from?"

_"It was from a person named Atra… they said you would recognize that name."_

Zim's optical implants nearly popped out of their sockets. "Atra?! The wretched female that nearly killed me?! She has some nerve contacting me… what did she want?"

_"She told me to tell you that you owe her a favor, and that now is the time to repay her."_

"Favor?! Zim owes no one any favors! Computer, take me down to the lab! I'm going to give that fool a piece of my mind!"

"MASTER, YOUS BACK!" Gir eagerly wrapped himself around Zim's leg, humming contentedly. "The moose and I missed yous so much..! I made MUFFINS!"

Zim deadpanned as Gir tossed a muffin up in the general direction of his face. The muffin fell to the floor unceremoniously- Zim made a mental note to have the computer clean that up later. "That's nice Gir. Did you blow anything up while I was gone?"

"Maaaybeee…"

"That's good Gir- wait. Was it in the  _base?"_

"Uh… maaaayyyybeee..?"

Zim groaned. It was no matter; the base would repair itself over time. "It really  _is_  dangerous to leave you alone…"

"But I wasn't alone Master! I was with the moose and his nubs! Hehehe, he's got nubs…"

"Sometimes I think I should leave Minimoose in charge instead of you… speaking of which, where did he go?"

"He's upstairs watchin' the lady prison show!"

"I told him that he wasn't allowed to watch that anymore! Ugh…" Zim huffed irritably. "Whatever. GIR! I have an important phone call to make. Go away."

"Yes sir!" Gir saluted, eyes briefly flashing red, before he proceeded to giggle maniacally while in search of something to entertain him.

"I don't understand her," Zim muttered to himself. "When she first came to Earth… I never would've guessed she'd end up betraying the Empire. Her story doesn't make sense. There's something she's not telling us. Unless she is defective, there's no way she can just 'rebel'. It may not matter now, but… I have a bad feeling in my spooch. Something's not right with her. Computer! Call her back. I have a few questions for her."

_"Right away master."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the wait! I hit a writer's block, then I got busy with life things, and then I got sick ;; but I'm back now with chapter two!
> 
> enjoy!

Zim tapped his foot impatiently. He wasn't the kind of person that gave out favors willy-nilly. Actually, he never really did favors at all, not unless he knew it would benefit him to do so. So the fact that Atra was demanding a favor from him was honestly kind of laughable. She should know better than to ask for something from him unless she had something to offer.

The person that answered was most definitely not Atra. He wasn't even Irken. Rather, he was Vortian, but he wasn't wearing the uniform assigned to the Vortians by the Irken Empire. Was he a rebel? He had rumors of small rebellions popping up all over Vort, but he hadn't imagined that any of them had actually succeeded...

_"This is Lard Nar, captain of the Resisty. I presume you are Zim?"_

"Yes, I am Zim, I wish to speak to- w _aaaaiiiit."_ Zim paused, making a sound akin to a snort as he struggled to hold back laughter. "The Resisty?! You mean that rag-tag group of morons that foolishly challenged the Massive?"

Lard Nar narrowed his eyes at Zim.  _"Atra, are you sure this is the same Irken?"_

Zim could hear the faint sound of shuffling and a door being closed. A feminine voice sighed heavily.  _"Yes, you will have to excuse Zim's behavior. As I've discovered, he… doesn't appear to have much of a filter…"_

"I heard that! Now you listen here! I don't know what you're talking about- Zim doesn't owe you anything! So-"

_"I'll take it from here, captain."_  She urged Lard Nar out of the room and took his seat, crossing her legs and making herself comfortable.  _"Now, where's the other one? The human boy?"_

"What, you mean Dib?"

_"Yes. I was assuming he'd be present when we met again."_

Zim waved a dismissive hand, as if the matter were of no concern. "The stupid Dib-beast is off doing… silly human-things."

Atra looked down at her feet, antennae twitching as if she were uncomfortable.  _"…Right. Well, I was hoping to talk to him as well…"_

"Whatever you have to say to the Dib, you can say to me, got that?!"

Atra blinked.  _"Wow. A-Ahem… anyway… um… you probably don't remember most of this, but back on the Massive-"_

"You were the female responsible for nearly killing me with that cursed device of yours! Zim remembers."

_"It was a fake!"_  Atra argued.  _"I… ditched that plan at the last second. Um… it's a long story. Didn't Dib already explain this to you? I didn't kill you, I saved you."_

"Whatever," Zim scoffed, folding his tiny arms across his chest. "According to what the Dib says, you helped us escape, and he destroyed that stupid device you and your servants created. What more do you want?"

_"Straight to the point, then. Well, simply put, the Resisty is looking for recruits. And I think you and Dib would fit in nicely."_

_"Zim?!_ And the Dib?! Joining you?!"

_"…Zim, please call Dib over here. It seems that between the two of you, he's the only one capable of rational thought."_

"Why you..! Filthy..!" Zim seethed, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits. The audacity of this... creature! After nearly killing him, she wanted him to join that very same pathetic group of rebels?

_"Master Zim, there's someone at the door."_

Zim heaved a heavy sigh. Of course. Of  _fucking course._

"I'm busy! Tell Gir to answer it or something."

_"It's Dib, master. Do you want me to bring him down here?"_

"No!"

_"Bringing Dib to the laboratory."_

"Computer, how dare you disobey your master?! I told you-"

Before long Dib came tumbling down the elevator, groaning as he-yet again- landed square on his backside. "Zim, would you tell your computer or whatever to be a little bit more careful?!" Dib grumbled, rubbing his sore backside. "Oh. Looks like you're busy."

"Dib! You're not allowed down here! Get out! Computer, security breach!"

_"No threat detected."_

"Urghh!" Zim huffed, slumping into his computer chair in defeat. "Go away, Dib-beast."

Dib grinned teasingly, reaching down to poke at Zim's cheek. "Sounds like your computer doesn't mind me being here~"

"Do not touch Zim with your filthy human hands."

Atra suddenly cleared her throat to get their attention. Dib turned towards the screen and his eyes widened with recognition. "Oh hey, it's you. Long time no see!"

Atra merely waved back, smiling slightly.  _"Zim, would you mind filling Dib in on the proposition I've offered?"_

Zim shot her a wary glare before turning his back to the monitor. "The science drone wishes for us to join the  _Resisty,"_ Zim told him, jerking his thumb back towards the screen.

"Resisty? What's that? The name sounds a little…"

_"Yes, we know the name is... er, misleading. We're working on it,"_  she snapped.

Zim grinned, clearing his throat. "Allow me to explain. The Resisty is a group of pitiful rebels who foolishly opposed the Irken Empire-"

_"Enough, Zim,"_  Atra interrupted, effectively silencing him.  _"The Resisty has grown since then. We are now an organization, and we are in alliance with several powerful forces in the universe."_

"Like?" Zim prompted.

_"The Meekrob Republic, for instance?"_

Zim gasped, taken aback. "The M-Meekrob? You… you dared to ally yourself with such a powerful enemy of the Irken Empire?"

_"We had to,"_  she replied.  _"The Meekrob has resources that we could really use. Not to mention that with the Meekrob joining us, we also are automatically partnered with all of the planets that are part of or affiliated with the Meekrob Republic."_

"B-But-"

_"You were right, Zim. Before, the Resisty was pathetic. But with the Meekrob at our side… we might just stand a chance…"_

Zim couldn't help but notice that she wasn't speaking like a scientist. If there was one thing he knew about her, it was that she always spoke analytically, always with some sort of logic behind her words, but this... this was spoken with the passion of a soldier. He knew that feeling better than anyone.

"What exactly are you aiming for?" Dib asked. "I mean, are you talking full-scale intergalactic war here?"

_"That's a possibility that we have to be prepared for,"_  she answered coolly.  _"But no. That's not the primary objective. The captain would like for us to reach an agreement."_

Dib snorted, rolling his eyes. "An agreement? With the Irken Empire? Not likely."

"And just  _what_  is that supposed to mean,  _Dib?!"_  Zim retorted, his eyes narrowing into heated slits.

Atra cleared her throat again to prevent a fight from breaking out between them. The last thing she needed was the two of them getting into another one of their famous arguments.  _"Anyhow, we can't give you all the details quite yet. But if you come onboard, we can-"_

"The answer is  _no,"_ Zim declared, looking the scientist directly in the eye with a ferocity he rarely showed. "Neither me nor Dib will be accompanying you on your suicide mission."

"Hold on a minute Zim, you can't just decide that for me!"

Zim turned to face him, his face drawn into an incredulous expression. "You mean you're actually  _considering_  this?!"

Dib shrugged. "Well, I mean… yeah, kind of? She saved our asses, Zim."

"She did not!" Zim argued. "We helped ourselves. That insolent female has only been a distraction!"

"She could've  _killed_  you and she chose not to. Don't you think we at least owe her this?"

"Oh, so she  _spared Zim! Big deal_ , Dib! We owe her nothing!" He stood from his seat, ruby eyes clashing with amber. "I don't expect you to understand, but it would be  _suicidal_ to take on the Irken Empire. If  _they_  wish to go be fools, then let them! But you and I… we will not be a part of it."

Dib's hands clenched into fists. "You know, there aren't many people in this universe that would spare you. A long time ago, I was one of those people. And who says you get to speak for me, Zim? If  _you_  wanna stay then fine, but I think… I think I should consider going."

Dib was suddenly eye-to-eye with Zim. He stepped back to put some space between them and found the backs of his legs flush with one of the metal tables. "Foolish Dib-beast! Must I spell it out for you?!"

"Spell  _what out?"_

The realization hit him then, about why Zim could possibly be so hesitant about this. "Zim… are you… are you seriously still loyal to the Empire? After… after everything they did to you..?"

Zim's eyes abruptly widened. His jaw worked, as if he were struggling with what to say. "Yes! Er, I mean- no! I'm…" The look of alarm faded. "Zim doesn't know what he is. But that's not what I-"

_"Zim is **programmed**  to be loyal, Dib,"_ Atra cut in after a few moments of silence, watching the two of them argue back and forth. It was rather amusing.  _"Even if he is defective, loyalty is something that's been ingrained into his very being, ever since he was a smeet. It's not easy to break free of it. So even if Zim is feeling like he wants to rebel…"_

Zim pointed a gloved finger up at the screen. He couldn't help but notice that she chose to cut in at the  _worst_  possible times. "Make silence now!"

Dib felt all of the rage that was consuming him earlier slowly start to fade. "Zim, is that true?"

Zim didn't meet his eyes. "Do you need to ask?"

Dib couldn't blame him if that was the case. He forgot sometimes that Zim was sort of part computer.

"Zim… like I said, you don't have to go anywhere. And I know… that maybe compared to you I'm a kid, but… here, on Earth, I'm an adult. So at least let me think about this, okay?"

"Zim… does not view the Dib as a smeet," he murmured, his voice so soft that Dib almost didn't hear him. "I never have."

"Then… why…"

Dib didn't miss the way Zim's cheeks flushed. "You'll get yourself killed if you go! You're a mere human! You're all… fragile and soft! You wouldn't last one minute out there. You have zero combat experience- how would you expect to survive?!"

"Zim," Dib said, a teasing smile playing at his lips, "come on. Have a little more faith in me."

"This is not about faith! This is about you risking your stupid, ridiculously short life! This is about you running right into a death trap and leaving me here-" He abruptly slapped a hand over his mouth. He had said too much. Damn it. Damn it all.  _Abort abort abort-_

Dib opened his mouth to argue. Zim had no room to talk when it came to  _obvious death traps._ But something about the way he had abruptly placed his hand over his mouth to prevent more words from spilling out stopped him.

"Zim." He placed a hand on the alien's shoulder. "If you're so scared of me leaving you, then come with me."

"But… I…"

"Come on. Wouldn't be the same without you, ya know."

"…That  _is_  true…"

"Exactly."

"But… if we both go, then we'll both die! There's no sense in both of us dying."

Ah, Zim. Always the optimist. "Maybe, but at least we'll go down together, right? There's no sense in just one of us dying either. So... let's make plans to live."

_"…How about this?_   _I'll give you guys approximately three days to think about it, and when that time is up, I'll call you again."_ Atra proposed.

"Okay," Dib agreed.

"Whatever," Zim huffed before slamming the "end call" button.

A tense, uncomfortable silence fell between them. He didn't  _want_  to bring it up, but in his experience with Zim, he's learned that the whole repression tactic just wasn't going to work. And with Zim especially- it was almost like he feared that if he didn't keep Zim talking, he would eventually revert back to his old self, and that was the  _last_  thing he needed right now. He needed to keep Zim on his side- and he could lie and say that it was for the sake of the world, but it really, truly wasn't. For the first time since meeting him, Dib wanted him on his side simply because he wanted him on his side.

Dib awkwardly shifted his weight back and forth on his feet. "So… are we gonna talk about it?"

"About what?"

"What you just said- about me leaving. Are we gonna talk about it, or just ignore it like everything else?"

Zim waved him off. "…There's nothing to talk about. If you want to go into space on a suicide mission, then fine. Unlike you, Zim is not weak. I won't come chasing after you in the middle of space."

"I know you won't," Dib replied softly. "I wouldn't expect you to."

_That_  took Zim aback. Humans, always so greedy and selfish and expectant, but... "You… wouldn't?"

"No. Even if you wanted to, your pride wouldn't let you. Unless there was something you'd get out of it, you'd never save me of your own volition."

That wasn't entirely true, and Dib knew that. There had been plenty of occasions where Zim had saved Dib for (mostly) unselfish reasons. But Zim would never want to hear about an instance where he had been nice to Dib. He would vehemently deny it. So Dib kept quiet.

"I'll leave you alone to think," Dib said, making his way towards the elevator. "But Zim, just so you know… while you were gone… I did miss you. That's part of the reason I came for you. It's okay to... miss someone, you know."

"…Just get out already, Earth-smell."

"Right. See ya."

* * *

"Hey, listen, I know you probably wouldn't really care, but… I got an offer to go into space today."

Gaz paused abruptly, glaring at Dib over the top screen of her GameSlave. "You  _what_  now?"

"It's okay if you don't believe me, but I'm 100% serious. Zim and I, we were both offered to go into space and join this resistance against the Irkens."

She suddenly shut her GameSlave and placed it on the table. For the first time in a while, she seemed genuinely interested in a conversation with her brother. "I thought Zim was Irken. Why fight his own race?"

"Cause they kinda fucked him over," Dib told her. The harsh words felt good coming from his mouth, for some odd reason. "But I don't know if he's going to do it or not."

"Why?"

"Cause he's  _Zim."_

"Oh. That explains a lot. So what about you? Are you gonna go off into space and fight aliens and stuff?"

"…The way you said that kinda made my life sound like an action movie."

Gaz deadpanned. "Please. Your life is a soap opera at best."

Dib couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah. You're probably right."

"Of course I am." She paused to take a sip of her soda. "Well, it's not like you haven't been to space before. But dad might not be too happy about it."

"Dad? Why would he care?"

"Cause he wants you to go to school and all that. If he hears that you're giving up school to go into space, he'll have a fit."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Please, dad only wants me to go to school so he can say his kids are 'educated like him'. Besides, I don't even know if I'm going yet."

"Well,  _one_  of us has to go to college, and it's not gonna be me."

"What do you mean you're not going?"

"I think I'm going to an art school," she said simply. She reached into her bookbag and pulled out her sketchbook, opening it and placing it on the table for Dib to see. "My studio art teacher said that I should submit these to the art school nearby."

Dib knew that Gaz was more into creative stuff, unlike him. But he never guessed that she was an artist. Her drawings, despite being dark, were well done and unique. Dib couldn't help but be a little proud of her.

"They're good, Gaz. I'm sure they'll accept you."

"They'd better. I worked my ass off on these."

Dib laughed. Here he was, yet again, about to ask for advice from his sister. "…What do you think I should do? Atra said that the Earth could be in danger, but… I've been protecting the Earth for years, right under everyone's noses… and they all just call me crazy…"

"If I were you, I would've left a long time ago. If people don't want to listen, then that's their problem, not mine. But you're not like that. You…  _care._  No matter how much people talk down to you or call you insane, you'll still keep protecting them because it's the 'right thing to do'. But I wouldn't blame you if you stayed."

"You wouldn't?"

She shook her head. "No. You're  _Dib,_ so… do whatever my  _stupid older brother_  would really do. Cause  _this_  isn't you. By now, you'd be halfway across the galaxy or something. So what's holding you back?"

"Zim," he answered without hesitation. "Zim's holding me back. Gaz, it's like… somehow, every little thing I think of… it somehow always ends up coming back to him. It's like…"

"Like you're obsessed with him? That's kinda old news."

"Obse-  _no!_ God, Gaz, stop making it  _weird_. He just… always finds a way to make it into my thoughts, like a… a  _song_  you can't get out of your head. A... really  _annoying_  song. I hate it. I hate  _him_."

"That's an odd way to talk about someone you hate," she noted.

Dib groaned in defeat, shoulders slumping forward. "…Ugh, you're right… I don't hate him, I just hate how stupid and ridiculous he is… but… sometimes he's just so damn…"

"Dib, don't drool all over the table."

"Drool-  _Gaz!_ I'm not… I wasn't-!" … _Was I?_

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

Dib muttered something unintelligible under his breath. "I should probably go talk to him, but talking to Zim is like talking to a brick wall. He's so sure of himself that he never bothers to listen to anyone else."

"Well, whatever you decide, just make sure you tell dad. He's been bugging me for weeks 'cause he hasn't heard from you."

Dib waved her off. "Yeah yeah, I'll give him a call tonight. He's away for a trip right now, isn't he?"

"Yeah, some big convention for scientists. He was really excited about it."

Dib remembered that 'convention' very well. One time Dib had begged his father to take him along since there was bound to be something there regarding paranormal science. But his father had told him that paranormal science wasn't strong enough to be regarded as a separate field of study.

_"Besides," he'd said, "this is business. Boring adult things. You wouldn't like it."_

Not that it mattered much. Dib had been attending ParaCon for the past two years now.

But Gaz was right. When had he lost his drive? His eleven year old self would've been elated at the opportunity to go into space and join a rebellion against the Irken Empire. Sure, he had been into space a couple times, but never for an extended period of time. In fact, he hadn't really gone beyond the galaxy before.

There was, of course, the obvious risk of death, but Dib had his fair share of near-death experiences. After years of chasing after Zim, there wasn't really much he feared anymore. Even the concept of dying in space didn't scare him as much as it should. He just didn't want Earth to become another Irken conquest. He would do whatever was necessary to keep that from happening.

With that, his mind was made up. With or without Zim, he was going to protect his family.

"Thanks, Gaz. I think I know what to do now."

"It's whatever, but if you do go into space… how long will you be gone?"

"That's the thing… I have no idea. Time works differently in space depending on where you are, so it could be ten minutes or ten years."

"…Oh."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Dib grinned teasingly. "What's the matter? Gonna miss me?"

She glared icy daggers at him. "Shut up and eat."

* * *

"Stupid, stupid,  _stupid!_ " Zim tugged on his antennae in frustration. "I can't believe I allowed myself to say something… like  _that_  to the Dib!"

If it had been up to Zim, he would've told Atra to take her stupid offer and shove it. Like hell he was going up against the Armada, not now that he was finally grounded and had somewhere to belong to. Earth would never be home, but it was nice to have a place that you could always return to. But it wasn't just up to him; it was up to him and  _Dib._ And no matter how much he wished he could, he could not control the Dib. If he wanted to go up into space to fight against the Empire, then he would. Simple as that.

…Except it wasn't, because if Dib went, then that meant that he had to go too.

Because he would  _not_  let the Dib-beast go by himself. Because he had sworn to himself since day one that he wouldn't let anything kill Dib. If he was going to die, then he would die by Zim's hand.

Dib. Stupid, idiotic, foolish, Dib. Why couldn't he just let the idiot go and get himself killed? Why did he have to tag along? Why was it so hard for him to let him go?

Dib had mentioned something not too long ago, about being tired of him. At the time, he hadn't understood what those words did to him. It was almost like they had caused him a physical pain, but Dib had never attacked him. But now, now he understood. The idea of letting Dib go was preposterous to him. He didn't want him to move on. He didn't want him to do stupid human things, like getting married or going to college. If there was one thing Zim hated more than Dib, it was being ignored by him. Dib used to watch him obsessively as a kid, but now that he's an adult, Zim was finally realizing how much he'd gotten used to that feeling, to being the center of someone's world. Even if the reasoning was purely driven by hatred, it didn't matter. Because he had his worst enemy- no, his  _worthiest_  enemy's attention. And to have that feeling ripped away from him so suddenly caused a feeling unlike any other.

Dib was the only enemy he'd ever accept. No one else would ever match up to him- and that thought scared him. The fact that Dib had become irreplaceable to him… was more terrifying than anything. And Irkens were supposed to be fearless.

Perhaps that was why he was so afraid to let him go. If Dib died in space, he'd never find another human to replace him. No one was Dib Membrane.

The thought only made him hate Dib more.

He hated Dib for turning him into…  _this,_ a pathetic, pitiful excuse for an Irken. He hated him for ruining his life, always wrecking his plans. He hated him for infecting him with…  _emotions_ and making his squeedlyspooch feel all funny. But most of all, he hated Dib for crossing the line they'd both unknowingly created, for making things more complicated than they ever had to be. He brought his stupid  _hyuuuumann_ feelings into their relationship, and now things were all… messed up.

Oh, how he wished he could kill him. Perhaps someday he would. But right now… right now he couldn't. It wasn't the time, and the circumstances weren't right. So for now… he would refrain. He used to daydream about when he would finally kill Dib. He'd imagined all sorts of creative ways to put an end to his pathetic life. A slow, torturous death on an autopsy table, like Dib had threatened him with so many times before. Or perhaps, if he was feeling merciful, he'd throw him into the Asteroid belt. It used to bring him great pleasure. And he'd had the opportunity to do the very things he dreamed of, multiple times. But he'd always put it off in favor of something he knew deep down would never work. Perhaps that was because he hadn't  _wanted_ it to work.

He would follow Dib into space, and fight against the very thing he had sworn to serve. Sometimes he felt like he would follow Dib to the end of the universe, if he asked.


	3. Chapter 3

To say that Dib was surprised when he found Zim at his doorstep bright and early the next morning would be an understatement. Zim wasn't the kind to pop over for a friendly chat. "Zim," he murmured groggily, wiping at his eyes. "It's 6 in the morning. What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, stink-meat. About that wretched Atra-drone's offer."

"Can't it wait until, like, noon?"

"No! Now move!" Zim gently pushed him aside. It was rare that Zim would visit him. Usually he never did unless circumstances forced him to. It was also rare that Zim actually bothered to use the front door.

"Ugh…" Dib yawned. "I guess it's actually good that you're here, I gotta get Gaz up and take her to school. But can't we do this after I get back?"

"No! We will talk about this  _now_ , Dib-beast. Your sister unit will have to take the bus this morning."

"Yeah,  _no_. Gaz doesn't do the bus. How about this, ride with us? We'll talk over breakfast after I drop her off. I'll buy you those waffles you like."

Zim had opened his mouth to argue, but at the word "waffles", he found that whatever argument he wanted to make died on his tongue. So long as they weren't within the vicinity of his SIR Unit, waffles were among one of the only Earth foods he could withstand. "…Very well. But we shall go to the house of pancakes! Zim likes the waffles there the best."

"You mean  _IHOP?"_

"Yeah sure, whatever. Hurry up! Zim does not have all day."

Dib couldn't help but smile as Zim promptly seated himself on the couch, engrossing himself in the TV. He turned around to go wake up his sister, but was surprised to see Gaz already sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal.

"Oh, you're already up."

She didn't answer. She was careful about what she said in the morning. Dib wasn't a morning person either, but Gaz was  _far worse._

"Zim's gonna ride with us. He and I have something we need to talk about, so I'm taking him to breakfast."

"Whatever," she said through a mouthful of cereal. "But I'm still riding shotgun."

There was no refuting that. Dib, realizing that he was basically half naked and in desperate need of a shower, hurried upstairs to get himself ready.

The TV at Dib's house was boring, as Zim had come to find out. All that was on were shows intended for smeets and the news. He shut it off and curiously wandered through Dib's house. Ha. Human housing was ridiculous and quite impractical. So many unnecessary rooms and utilities- why did humans need all of this?

He wandered into the kitchen and found Gaz just as she finished her cereal. "Oh, Dib-sister, I see you're awake."

"Zim, let me just tell you, that I am  _not_ a morning person. So if you want your face to remain intact, you'll refrain from... being yourself."

Zim abruptly shut his mouth. He had learned from personal experience not to mess with Gaz. Dib he could handle, but his sister was on a whole other level, one that ought not to be trifled with.

"Oh, and by the way, I'm riding shotgun. No arguments."

Zim wanted to argue. The front seat was  _his spot!_ But Gaz really didn't seem like she was in the mood to argue. Rather, she was in the mood to  _kill._

Minutes that felt like hours dragged by before both Dib and Gaz were  _finally_ ready to leave. He wanted to ask why Gaz was wearing such an excessive amount of eyeliner, but he ultimately decided against it. He had tried eyeliner a few times, mostly for whenever he was trying out a new disguise. And although he'd never admit it, there was something he admired about human makeup. It could easily make the naturally hideous humans less so.

Briefly, he wondered if the Dib was always wearing makeup. It would certainly explain-

_No, Zim. Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts._

Besides, according to the knowledge he had gathered over the years, human males typically didn't wear makeup. It seemed to be mainly targeted towards human females. Not that Zim cared for or adhered to Earth's gender roles.

The ride to school was mostly silent, save for Gaz's music blaring from the radio. When Zim saw the school coming into view through the window, he was reminded of the horrid memories of that place. Yet again, he found himself relieved that he didn't have to attend it any longer.

"I'll be here to pick you up," Dib said as they came to a stop in front of the school.

"'Kay. Have fun on your date."

And before Dib could correct her and say that it was  _not_  a date, she was already out of the car and heading into the building.

Zim tilted his head, confused. "Is the Gaz-beast referring to the human act of courtship?"

"…Let's not talk about it. Do you want to ride in the front now?"

Zim glared at him before clambering up to the front seat, nearly kicking Dib in the process. After he properly seated himself, he readjusted his wig in the rear-view mirror, making sure that his antennae weren't sticking out (that had happened a few times, actually).

"Hey, watch it!" Dib scolded. "This car has a nice interior!"

"Whatever. To the pancake house!"

Dib grinned, shifting the car into drive. "Yes, my  _overlord."_

* * *

"You know, for someone so tiny, I'm surprised you can eat that much."

Zim wiped the whipped cream that had gathered around his mouth. What was the one human term, the one he had heard the Dib-beast say every now and then... "What the  _frick_  is that supposed to mean?"

Dib blinked once, then twice, before cupping a hand over his mouth to conceal his sudden laughter. His snorts gave him away, unfortunately. "Whoa, Zim, language," he teased, sipping his orange juice.

Zim wasn't sure what Dib found to be so funny, but he wasn't really in the mood to question it. "Whatever."

"So, now that you got your waffles, mind telling me what the deal is?"

Zim swallowed and dropped his fork as if he were preparing to make a grand announcement.  _Why does everything have to be so ceremonious with him?_  "Oh, yes, of course. The 'deal'. I've… come to tell you that we are going to accept the science drone's terms."

"Oh, we are?" Interested, Dib leaned forward, resting his cheek in his hand. "And what made you change your mind?"

"That's none of your business, Dib-stink. But the reason is simple. The Dib simply won't survive in space without me. You need my superior skills and advanced knowledge, so naturally, I must accompany the helpless Dib-beast."

He couldn't resist- teasing Zim was just way too much fun. He placed his hand over his chest as if he were touched, his snarky grin shifting to a tearful smile. "Wow, I'm  _honored_. The Almighty Zim has been so gracious to me lately."

Zim didn't even seem to pick up on the blatant sarcasm in his tone. "Yes, he has. You should be glad I'm not having you publicly worship me on your knees for my kindness."

Dib decided  _not_  to focus on how much those words affected him in... less than appropriate ways. "Well, I'm glad you decided to go. So did I."

"Of course you did. I'm going, so you're going too. Besides, I'm not going to let the Dib get special military training without me."

"So it's settled then." Dib smiled, feeling the excitement rush through him like a shot of adrenaline. "We're going into space together."

"Don't get all excited, this is hardly-"

He knew he sounded like he was eleven all over again, but getting to go into space to fight an oppressive alien monarchy, with a rebel alien  _from_ said monarchy? Very few can say that they've done the same. "I can't help it. It's just that… for the first time… we're not gonna be fighting each other in space. We're gonna be on the same side."

"…The same side… as a human…" Zim chuckled dryly. "Who ever thought I'd be fighting against my own Empire with my sworn enemy?"

Dib's excited smile suddenly fell as he recalled what had occurred yesterday. "Zim, about… what Atra said… are you still... struggling with your feelings towards the Empire?"

Fake lilac eyes clashed with all too realistic amber ones. "…It is hard to explain an Irken's devotion to the Empire to a human. A human could never understand loyalty to this extent. This loyalty is more than fact, more than common knowledge, even more than law. It's closer to what you humans refer to as 'religion', even though Irkens know no deities or higher powers. There is no greater power than the Almighty Tallest and the Control Brains."

He had always hoped that he could learn more about Irken society, beyond what little tidbits Zim decided to tell him every now and then. Perhaps this would be his chance. "Well, what about you? Is it… really that strong?"

Zim nodded slowly, hesitantly. "…Yes. But… every time I think of how badly I wish to crush this planet beneath my boot… I remember what it was like being trapped inside my own mind. I remember… what my Tallest said to me."

"Trapped inside your mind? What… was that like?"

"It was brief, very brief, yet it felt... like a never-ending dream," he explained. "I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't escape. And I relived… things from my past that I've wanted to forget."

Dib ducked his head, averting the Irken's gaze. "The Tallest and Atra mentioned… that you did some pretty messed up stuff. On Irk."

"...Yes."

A moment of tense silence fell between them. Dib leaned in curiously, impatient and eager. "Well?"

"What does it matter if I tell you?" Zim abruptly snapped.

"It... doesn't, I guess, but... I just thought... maybe it might make you feel better. To talk to someone about it."

"Zim isn't weak like you- I don't need to talk to you or anyone else," he snapped.

Dib threw up his hands defensively, resigning himself now before another fight broke out in public-  _again_. "Okay, okay, fine. Don't talk about it then."

It seemed like the topic had been dropped, with Zim defiantly huffing and refusing to meet Dib's eyes, but before long the little green menace was back at it again, nearly standing atop the table to catch Dib's attention once more. "It was many years ago, Dib, and I don't feel regret. And know that no matter what you say, no matter what sort of  _hyuuumaannn feelings_ you try to poison me with… I am Zim. I am a ruthless Irken soldier. Whether I am loyal to the Empire or not, that is a fact."

Dib didn't understand. Why was Zim talking like this, like he was  _bragging_? Sure, he was used to Zim bragging, that was nothing new, but it was never anything like this. Zim was playing himself up to be the true monster that Dib had imagined him to be as a child. But why? What good would that do them now? Why try to push him away unless-

It dawned on him suddenly. Of course. Why hadn't he seen the signs sooner?

"Zim," Dib said his name with a taunting smirk, "you're going soft, aren't you?"

"S-Soft?" Zim threw his head back, laughing almost maniacally. " _Oh_ , you can only wish, Dib-beast."

"I'm right, aren't I?" Dib continued. "You're getting soft, but you don't want me to see, so you're trying to make me think you're a monster. Isn't that right?"

_Oh,_  he was pissed now. Dib could see the way his eyes darkened, the way his lips split into an angry frown. "Dib," he started in a sickeningly sweet voice, "do you really want me to make a scene in front of all these people?"

"Go ahead," Dib urged. "Be my guest, Zim. Tear this whole fucking place down. Kill everyone in this room. Show me that you really are the monster that you say you are, and I'll stop. I'll go back to fearing you, to loathing you, just like you want."

The old Zim wouldn't have hesitated any longer. The old Zim would have burned this building to the ground just to prove a point to Dib, because that's how ruthless he was. He gave what he got tenfold, and he didn't care who was hurt in the process.

But he was not the old Zim anymore. The new Zim was weak, pathetic, fucked up…  _soft._ He was a shell of the Irken he used to be.

And it was all. Dib's. Fault.

Zim felt the familiar hot sting of tears brimming in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He would not allow the Dib to see him while he was weak. He abruptly stood up, chair sliding out from underneath him. "I'm going home."

'Wait, Zim!" Dib stood up as well. He frantically reached into his wallet and pulled out a twenty dollar bill to cover the meal before he hurried after Zim. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that! I crossed the line!" he yelled as he followed Zim out the door.

Zim abruptly stopped, whirling around on his heels to face Dib. He pointed a gloved finger up at his chin.  _"You_  did this to me! I can accept being a defect, but  _this…_ this  _feeling_  you gave me… get rid of it! I can't take it anymore! I'll concede victory to you if that's what you want, Dib, just… make it go away…"

Dib had never seen Zim this desperate before. He was  _begging_  him. "Zim… I didn't do anything to you, I swear. I know these feelings must be new, but… you don't have to be afraid. Having a friend isn't the end of the world. Far from it."

"Lies! Filthy lies! Invaders need no one! I don't  _need you!_ I don't… I don't..!"

"Zim, look at me-"

"Get  _away!"_

All Dib saw was a swipe of black as he abruptly jumped back, stumbling as he somehow regained his balance. Thankfully Zim hadn't managed to scratch him, but it had been close. "Zim…"

Zim gasped, eyes widening as he slowly stepped towards Dib, looking up at him with an expression he could only define as worry. _He was regretting it._

"I'm fine, Zim," Dib reassured him. "See? No cuts or anything."

"Ugh… this is exactly what I mean! Stop it! Stop saying things like that to Zim!"

Before Dib could counter, Zim was already gone, heading off in the direction of his base. After breaking out into a fast-paced run, Dib saw him extend his PAK legs and use them to scale the buildings.

_Just what in the hell was that all about?_

* * *

Zim wasn't exactly sure how he was going to handle being trapped in space with the Dib, especially with their relationship so strained. But Dib was dead-set on going, and if the Earth really was in danger like Atra suggested, he didn't have much of a choice. For now, he would have to put his...  _relationship_ with Dib to the side.

_"You've reached the Resisty. This is Lard Nar speaking. May I ask who's-"_

"Find that Atra-drone and bring her here!" Zim demanded, slamming his fist onto the control panel.

Lard Nar grinned, seemingly jumping to life as he leapt out of his office chair.  _"Oh, Zim, what an unpleasant surprise! So, something tells me you've considered our offer."_

"Yes, I have. And while I can't fathom why you would want someone as weak and pathetic as the Dib, Zim has graciously decided to join you on your quest to take down the Armada, as silly and downright suicidal as it is."

Zim was half expecting the Vortian to fall to his knees and praise him for his kindness, although he should have known better, considering he was the leader of a ragtag rebellion. Instead, Lard Nar was suddenly oddly calm, leaning back into his chair with a languid smirk.  _"You know, Zim, Atra goes on and on about Dib and how much of an asset he'll be, and I have no doubts that he'll make a great soldier, but… **you**  are the one I was really excited about."_

"Me? Why? Erm, I mean-" Zim cleared his throat. "Y-You should be, after all, I am amazing."

_"That's one way to put it. What Atra said to me about you is true; you don't have any remarkable skills. Irkens are one of the most feared races in the galaxy, but let's be honest. They're physically weak. Without their weapons and technology, they wouldn't be a threat. But you… you are the ultimate weapon to use against them, and the best part is- you're one of them!"_

"Hey! I do too have special skills! How dare you disrespect-"

Lard Nar leaned in towards the camera, effectively interrupting his incoming rant.  _"Zim, if you're going to accept our offer, you must understand… that you'll have to let go of your loyalty to the Empire. Otherwise… we cannot accept you. We can't take the risk of having an Irken spy on our team."_

"What about Atra?" Zim argued. "She's Irken! How do you know she's not a spy?"

Lard Nar's eyes widened, an expression of pure confusion crossing his features.  _"Oh, she didn't tell you?"_

"Tell me what?"

_"O-Oh…"_  he turned away suddenly, appearing somewhat embarrassed.  _"It's nothing. It's best that she tells you herself anyway."_

Zim narrowed his eyes suspiciously; he was well aware that there was something Lard Nar wasn't telling him. "Whatever. Zim… is aware. I know my Tallests have been trying to get rid of me for years. But..." he trailed off suddenly, unsure of how to word his concerns.

Lard Nar nodded grimly, his smirk from earlier fading.  _"…Yes, I am aware. If you join us, Zim, we can help you overcome it."_

'Overcome it'. Ha. Zim might be more intrigued if such a thing were possible. Although now that he'd had a taste of "feelings", he was  _really_  starting to wish that his PAK was working properly. "…Mm. Zim still thinks that this whole mission is stupid, but… I won't allow the Dib to get ahead of me in any way! I can't leave him unattended, who knows what he'll plan? Therefore, we both accept your offer!"

Lard Nar suddenly jumped from his chair again.  _"Wonderful!"_  he exclaimed. " _We're still within range, so the teleporter should work! Now, go get that big-headed boy of yours!"_

Nodding, Zim jumped to his feet. "GIR!"

Within seconds his deranged robot came bounding in from the elevator door, giggling maniacally, his dog suit unzipped and barely clinging to his foot.

"Make sure you're prepared Gir, we'll be leaving after I go retrieve the Dib. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

"Yes sir!"

Gir watched as Zim left, the elevator sliding up to the main level with a groan and a hiss. He turned around toward the screen, and noticed that his master had failed to end the call before he left. Smiling cheerfully, Gir jumped into the seat his master had just been sitting in. "Hi!"

Lard Nar eyed the robot curiously.  _"Oh wow, a SIR unit! I haven't seen this model in years! I wonder why Zim would have such an outdated robot…"_

Gir leapt onto the monitor, pressing his face right into the camera. "Horns! You got horns on yer head!"

Lard Nar self-consciously grabbed at one of the horns that sat atop his head before narrowing his eyes at him.  _"A defective… ha, how fitting. Gir is your name, right? What does the 'G' stand for?"_

"No idea!" He smiled cheekily. "Hey, you got any taquitos in space?"

_"Did um… Zim say if he was taking you with him?"_

"I go with master everywhere!"

_"Oh, joy."_

* * *

"Dib-beast! I've come to- hey, where are you?"

It was rare that Zim wouldn't find Dib in his room. That's usually where he spent most of his time, after all. He frowned and clambered the rest of the way in through the window, falling onto his bed rather clumsily. Thankfully Dib hadn't seen that.

He'd been visiting Dib's house a lot more lately, but his room never failed to surprise him. Bedrooms seemed so useless, especially to someone that didn't need sleep. But Dib's was interesting, perhaps because it was the only bedroom he had ever been in. Gone were the posters of mothman and Mysterious Mysteries. Of course, he still kept his computers and all of his tech, and a few alien and ghost posters remained.

Zim slid off the bed, his PAK legs retracting. Dib wasn't here, and he never had gotten the chance to explore Dib's room before. Not that it really mattered now, but curiosity was getting the better of him. He ultimately, after some debate with himself, decided not to mess with his computers. Dib was smart enough to tell if his computers had been tampered with, and Zim wasn't in the mood to hear him complaining.

He walked over to Dib's closet door and slid it open. Nothing much, just clothes and a few old toys. Useless junk. Just as he was about to shut the door again, a small box in the corner caught his eye. It was dark and small but Zim was curious enough to open it anyway.

The box looked like it had previously been a shoebox, but its contents were most definitely not shoes. Instead, they were unmistakably pictures… of  _him._ Admittedly, he was a little creeped out, but he had plenty of pictures of Dib stored on his computer, so he guessed that he didn't have any room to talk. Some of them were random images, others were blurry and indefinable. But there was one in particular at the bottom that intrigued him.

It was a picture of the two of them. Together. Not killing each other.

Granted, neither of them were smiling in the photo. In fact, Zim appeared distracted, playing with a new device he had made, and Dib was smirking. Humans called these "selfies", if his modern-day lingo was up to date. Why would Dib take a "selfie" with him? Regardless, Dib had not only kept all the photos he took of Zim, but he kept the one that they took together. It was obviously without Zim's knowledge, but still. It gave him a funny feeling, to know that Dib kept pictures of him even now.

"GAAAH! Zim, what the fuck?!"

Startled, Zim dropped the photo he was holding and stood at attention, like he  _hadn't_  just been digging through Dib's stuff. "Dib-beast! Ew- why are you only wearing a bathing gown?"

"It's not- it's a  _towel!_  Jeez, Zim, couldn't you have just used the front door like a normal person?! And why were you looking through my stuff?!"

"I was not!"

"Yes you were! You were in my closet, weren't you? I can see the box you pulled out." Dib pushed past him to pull out an outfit from the closet.

"It's not my fault, I was bored and you weren't here."

"Nosy bastard," Dib grumbled under his breath.

"Whatever. Why do you have pictures of me?"

"You have pictures of me too. Besides, I meant it when I said I was always watching you as a kid."

"Stalker."

"Uh-huh. Hey, can you leave? I don't need an audience while I'm getting dressed." Dib's cheeks flushed, gesturing to the towel wrapped around his waist.

"Zim was here first! Besides, I have no interest in your human… bits. So for the sake of my eyeballs, I will not look."

Dib narrowed his eyes. " _I'll leave,_ then," he grumbled curtly before retreating back into the bathroom.

Zim shrugged. "Suit yourself." He really didn't see what the big deal was- it wasn't as if Dib had something he was interested in seeing. Humans and their weak, pointless modesty.

Dib came back moments later, fully dressed. "Okay, so I know you didn't come just to snoop through my stuff. Why are you really here?"

"I contacted the leader of the Resisty. They're waiting on us now. We need to hurry, soon the teleporter will be out of range."

"Wha-  _now?!_  Zim, why didn't you tell me?"

"I just did. Now come on-"

"B-But there's still so much I have to do! I have to pack my things, say goodbye to Dad and Gaz, and-"

"Foolish Dib, you won't need to pack anything."

"I… won't?"

Zim shook his head. "No. If the ship is holding a large crew, there's no doubt that it's designed to accommodate."

"So you mean… it'll have food? Beds? Bathrooms?"

"Of course."

"Okay, well just… give me a few minutes. My dad's not home, but I'll give him a call."

Zim huffed irritably. "Make it quick."

Dib quickly pulled out his phone and dialed his father's number. He figured that his father wouldn't answer, he hardly did. But he was pleasantly surprised when he heard his father finally pick up on the last ring.

_"Hello son! I'm very busy, so I hope this is important. Oh, did you schedule your classes yet?"_

"It is, dad. Um, I'll try to make this quick. But… okay, to make a long story short, Zim and I got invited to go to space. So we're going. Together. And, you know I've been into space before, but… I'm not sure how long I'll be gone this time, and… I just wanted to say goodbye, and that I love you."

There was a pause on the other end and an abrupt shuffling sound.  _"Now son, this isn't really my business but… last I heard, you despised this boy. And now… you're going into space with him?"_

"Um, yeah, it's uh… complicated."

_"Oh... I see. Well… thank you for telling me. Um… is there anything I can say to make you reconsider?"_

Dib laughed halfheartedly at that. "Nah."

_"That's my boy. Be cautious in space- there are all sorts of hidden dangers. I'll try to pay more attention to my phone- call me again and we'll talk. Okay?"_

"Uh… yeah, sure dad. Sorry to worry you. Um, I won't have cell service while I'm in space, so while I'm gone… can you please at least check on Gaz more? With me gone, she'll be home by herself a lot and… well…"

_"I understand. I'm going to try to be home more often now. I'll... see if I can talk to NASAPlace, I might be able to get a hold of you there. Good luck son. And send your little green friend my regards."_

"Okay, will do. Bye." Dib hit the end button and looked up, blinking rapidly. "Did that… actually happen?"  _Was it just my imagination, or did my dad actually seem worried for a second?_

"It would appear so," Zim answered bluntly. "Zim does not find your father as annoying as you."

"Gee, thanks," Dib grumbled flatly. "Gaz is in her room, I'm gonna go talk to her. Wait for me here?"

Zim waved him off. "Again, be quick."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I wrote this before I discovered that IHOP was abandoning pancakes and becoming a burger joint. Out of bitterness, I've decided not to change it.


	4. Chapter 4

Dib's goodbye to Gaz wasn't long or overly emotional. He'd told her where he was going, she said okay, and that had pretty much been the end of it.

_"Sorry, uh... guess you won't have anyone to take you over to your boyfriend's house anymore."_

She snorted, rolling her eyes.  _"I dumped him a long time ago."_

Wow. What else had he missed, while he was...  _preoccupied_  with Zim? But what surprised him the most was what she said before he left the house.

_"Dib!"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"…Kick some alien ass, or something."_

He was going to miss her, and in a strange way, he was going to miss his father too. But he wasn't able to turn back now- if the Earth was ever in danger because he had turned this opportunity down, he'd never be able to live with himself.

When they were finally teleported onto the ship, he was... pleasantly surprised, to say the least. The Resisty ship hadn't been anywhere near what Dib was expecting. For one, it was much,  _much_  bigger. The ship was almost luxurious in a way, and incredibly clean. It reminded Dib of a hospital. All of the ships that Dib had cruised around through space in were small and cramped, barely big enough to fit him.  _This_  was quite the improvement.

Zim, on the other hand, was displeased, as usual. Did  _anything_  ever make him happy? "Eh, I've seen better."

The two of them of course weren't left unattended for long. Before Dib could reply, Atra was rushing out from behind the corridor to greet them. "Dib! Zim! Welcome! You've made a wise decision!"

"Spare me," Zim grumbled. "At least now with me you fools stand a chance!"

Atra merely smiled, taking Zim's insults in stride, a stride that Dib found rather impressive. "Lovely to see you as always, Zim. Follow me, I'll take you to Lard Nar for your interviews."

Atra turned and led the way, guiding them through the hallways. As Zim grumbled to himself, Dib took this opportunity to examine his surroundings. He was...  _in space. That part,_ he was used to. The part he  _wasn't_  used to, was being in  _space_ , on a ship with a bunch of aliens. And Zim... who was also an alien. Right. Zim was... an alien too. So why did he feel like the only normal person on this ship?

_No, I can't think like that. Just because they're aliens doesn't mean they're not- well, I mean, they're pretty abnormal, but- ugh, what am I doing here again..?_

"What's going on with you, science drone?" Zim asked. "I demand an explanation! If you're Irken, how have you joined the Resisty? How did you overcome-"

"All your questions will be answered in due time. Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to reveal anything until Lard Nar has given you the okay. So do your best!" She smiled that sickeningly sweet smile again before gesturing to the last door on the left. "Here we are! Lard Nar has asked to see you individually, so Dib, you're up first."

"Why does Dib get to go first?" Zim whined.

Atra didn't answer, and so Dib couldn't resist the opportunity to rub something in the Irken's face. He briefly stuck his tongue out at Zim, shooting him a taunting wink, before stepping into the captain's office. Zim's loud protests could be heard from behind the door, but Dib didn't pay them any mind.

"Uh, captain?"

"Dib!" Lard Nar exclaimed, dropping the device he had been fiddling with. "Go on, take a seat!"

Doing as he was told, Dib sat in the seat across from the Vortian, awkwardly folding his hands in his lap. Lard Nar... hadn't at all been what he was expecting. As a captain, he thought he would've been calm, calculating, collected. But Lard Nar seemed... rather eccentric, to say the least. He could hardly keep still. The horns on his head sort of reminded Dib of Zim's antennae, but they were far less expressive. He seemed more like a trainee rather than an experienced captain of a ship.  _Did he really create the Resisty..?_

Lard Nar suddenly slammed his gloved hands onto the desk, so loud that Dib nearly jumped out of his own skin. "So, let's cut to the chase, human Dib! We did some snooping around and it seems you've got quite the history with Zim."

Dib couldn't help but laugh at that. "That's one way to put it."

Lard Nar couldn't hide his chuckle in return. "Forgive me if I'm being intrusive, but can I ask what your relationship is with Zim?"

He was asking himself the same question. "Um… well, to be honest, right now it's kind of hard to answer that. A while ago I would've said 'enemies', but now I'm not so sure. Um… we're not trying to kill each other, if that means anything?"

"It does. It's important that all of my team members have somewhat positive relationships with one another." Lard Nar narrowed his eyes at Dib. "If you both make it onto this team, I hope that you'll learn to get along." He suddenly clapped his hands together. "Now then, back to business! Zim isn't exactly a shining example of his race, but you managed to hold your ground and protect Earth against an Irken invader for almost ten years. That's impressive. Therefore, we think you'd make a great addition to our team."

"Oh, that's great-"

"However!" Lard Nar's intense gaze met his own. He leaned over the desk, drawing closer to Dib. "This will not be easy. You will be trained based on your strengths and weaknesses. You will have access to some of the finest weaponry in the galaxy. And there is the, albeit small, chance that you will not return home alive. Tell me, are you prepared to accept these terms?"

Dib swallowed thickly. As polite as Lard Nar was, he was awfully blunt. Dib supposed that he could learn to admire that about him- at least he wasn't the type to hide things. "I-If my planet is really in danger as you say… then yes. I accept."

Lard Nar grinned, flashing sharp canines. "Humans. Such a fascinating species. You know, this is the first time I've ever met one of your kind."

"Same here, I've never met an… um…"

"Vortian," Lard Nar informed him. "I'm Vortian. You've probably heard of the planet Vort?"

"Yes, actually," Dib replied smoothly. "I'm uh… really sorry for what happened."

Lard Nar waved a dismissive hand. "Don't worry about it. We used to be their ally, you know… oh, how times change. But this isn't just about my home planet. It's about every planet that the Irken Empire has forcefully conquered. It's about the millions of lives they've taken already. It's about saving other galaxies from that fate. If you are ready to be a part of that, Dib, then I'll happily have you on my team."

There was a small part of him that was hesitant. It hadn't been there before- perhaps it had come with age. But this part of him insisted that it was not his responsibility to save the whole galaxy. He was only interested in one planet- his home planet. But on the other hand, he knew he couldn't just leave now- he had come too far. Besides, if saving his home meant that he got to save millions of others as well… then perhaps it was worth it after all. Besides, he was getting an opportunity that most humans could only dream of. He'd be a fool not to accept… right?

Dib smiled. Who was he kidding? His mind had been made up a long time ago. "When do I start?"

Lard Nar excitedly jumped up from the office chair and leaped over the desk, landing on his (oddly shaped, as Dib had come to find out) feet in front of him. "Excellent!" He grabbed Dib's hand. "Welcome aboard! I'll have Atra show you around and take you to your room. Orientation for new members is in an hour, don't be late!"

And with that, Dib was shoved out of the room, the door sliding closed behind him. He blinked slowly, trying to process just what the captain had said.

Atra grinned, as if she already knew what had transpired behind the captain's door. "He likes you. Come on, I'll take you to your room. Zim! You're up!"

Zim sent her an evil glare- something was  _seriously_  wrong with her- before returning his attention to his SIR unit. "Gir, listen to me. This is a direct order from your master. You are to stay right here while I speak to the filthy Vortian. Do not move. Do you understand?"

"Aww, do I have to?" Gir whined, his metallic voice taking on a high pitch.

"Yes! Must I repeat myself? Stay here-"

"Zim," Dib interrupted, "how about I take him with me?"

"Huh? You? Take  _my_  robot?"

"It's better than leaving him unattended. What are you gonna do if he gets lost? Besides, at least if he's with me he'll be occupied," he reasoned.

"Please master? I wanna go with the big head boy!" Gir pleaded. Zim watched as Gir's expression shifted to the one he knew he couldn't resist- the one he used whenever he wanted something. He had long since given up on trying to resist the- what was the word that Dib used? Ah, yes, the  _cute_  charm of his SIR unit.

"Ugh, fine, whatever. But if anything happens to him-"

"He'll be fine, trust me. Gir, c'mon, we're gonna take a little tour."

The robot giggled and leaped onto Dib's shoulder. He watched as Atra led them to the next corridor, narrowing his eyes at her. Something wasn't right about that female. Perhaps the Vortian would tell him if he agreed to his terms.

The door to Lard Nar's office slid open with a click. Drawing in a deep breath, Zim anxiously stepped inside.

"Zim!" Lard Nar exclaimed when he walked through the door. "Welcome! You know, just between you and I,  _you're_  the one I've really been looking forward to seeing."

"Enough with the games, Vortian scum," Zim snapped, venom dripping into his tone. "What's really going on here? Why are you so interested in me? I'm Irken, I'm the  _last_  person you should be considering for a position like this."

But Lard Nar merely shook his head. "Respectfully, I disagree. Come on, let's go take a walk, Zim. I'll tour you myself."

Zim didn't trust Lard Nar as far he could throw him, but he knew he wasn't totally defenseless. He could handle a Vortian. Now, a whole crew, he wasn't so sure about. But he sure as hell wasn't gonna  _tell_  him that.

Lard Nar led him out of his room and back down the hallway they came through. "There's somewhere in particular I want to show you."

"I  _told_  you-"

"You really need to learn patience, Zim. Perhaps that would make you a better soldier. Yes… you are going to need a lot of training…" He continued to mumble to himself, makign small indistinguishable comments under his breath.

"Training?" Zim scoffed. "Please. I've only received the finest training in the galaxy. I can assure you, there's no better training-"

"That's what you've been conditioned to think, that Irkens are the best at everything. But you know that that's not true, don't you? You're just afraid to admit it. Oh! It's right down this hall here, through this door. Come on, if we're lucky, we'll be able to catch it!"

"Catch wha- hey! Wait for me!"

* * *

Zim followed him down the corridor to the last door on the right. The door slid open to reveal a rather spacious room. The room was plain, empty, save for a large window on the wall across from him.

He nearly froze when he caught sight of what was happening on the other side of the window.

He'd been through space plenty of times, and as a result had been desensitized to the various anomalies that occurred. But he had never been around for something like...  _this_.

"A dying star. Luckily we've managed to get front row seats without putting ourselves in danger," Lard Nar said, smiling gently.

Zim slowly walked across the room to stand beside him. Indeed they were a safe distance away. He had never been able to get close enough to see one in person. "…So many colors," he noted, unaware that he had spoken out-loud.

"Mmm, space isn't exactly ideal, but… it's moments like this that make it worth it, don't you think?"

Zim didn't answer him, instead focusing on the explosions of color, the swirls and flashes, the dancing particles. Why had he never noticed it before? What was it about this moment that made him susceptible to the Vortian's influence? Why should he care about a few strokes of color in an otherwise black void of a universe?

"I'll tell you why I was so interested in you, Zim. There are stories about you all over the galaxy. Word spreads about the most destructive Irken in the universe, you know. One day I'd overheard whispers amongst the guards on my planet, talking about how you'd escaped a trial with the Control Brains. Ever since I heard that… I knew you were someone I had to have on my side for the rebellion. Since then I've been searching for you- and now… I've finally found you."

He knew he'd made a lot of enemies in his time as an invader- and he was proud of that. He wore his enemy count with pride. But even then, there had only been one mortal enemy that truly mattered to him. One enemy that he  _really_  cared about settling the score with. "How do you know that I won't betray you?" Zim inquired. "I am an Irken, after all."

Lard Nar laughed sheepishly in response. "I don't know that, actually. To be totally honest, standing here talking to you like this makes me a little nervous." He cleared his throat. "B-But I trust my instincts. Besides… you may have escaped your fate at your trial, Zim, but the ruling on your file still stands. The Control Brains declared you-"

"Defective. Zim knows."

"You shouldn't feel bad about that, you know," he said, as if it were as casual as talking about the weather. "Defective is what they like to call the freethinkers, the ones who don't just blindly follow orders. They tried to kill you because they're  _afraid_. And I don't blame 'em. You're a defective, sure, but you're a one of a kind soldier. You've got a knack for destruction. If it's utilized properly, that could be a great asset."

"Zim doesn't…  _feel bad,_  as you say," Zim weakly protested.

"Well, then how do you feel?"

"I'm not sure. I'm new to the whole 'feeling' thing."

Lard Nar laughed at that. "The point is, Zim, your knowledge on the Irken Empire will be extremely useful to us. According to our files you have a history with the current Tallests. That will be useful as well. If you agree to work with us, you will have to tell us everything you know. But surely, as you are aware…"

Zim nodded somberly. "Yes. It will be the ultimate act of betrayal against my Empire."

"I know that this can't be easy for you. I can… allow you some time to think-"

Zim held up a hand. "No. Zim has decided. If miserable planet Earth is in danger, then I suppose I have no choice in the matter."

"Even if it means protecting Earth from your own Empire?"

Zim flinched at the captain's words. "…If I must. I cannot serve an Empire that I was never part of to begin with."

"You would do that to save all of those Earthlings?"

Zim met his eyes through the Vortian's goggles, blinked once, and then threw his head back, erupting with raucous laughter. "To  _save the Earthlings?!_  Have you the brain worms, Lard-slave? I'm not protecting Earth because I care about the  _hyuuuumans,_  I'm protecting it because…" He trailed off suddenly, unsure of how to continue.

"Yeeeeess? Go on," Lard Nar prompted.

"Because… because Zim is… I…"

Why was he protecting Earth? Before he had protected Earth simply because it was  _his_  planet to ruin, not anyone else's. But he couldn't use that excuse anymore, could he?

"It's... the only place that I know I can return to. And it is the miserable Dib-human's home."

"Dib. You say his name with such disgust."

"Naturally. We're enemies."

"That's not what he said," Lard Nar teased in a sing-song voice.

"What did that insufferable human say about me?!"

"Nothing bad, but he said that you two were on better terms. Was he mistaken?"

"Yes, he was! The Dib and I… we...  _ugh_. Whatever." Zim huffed and turned to face him, pointing a gloved finger up at him. "Listen  _Vortian_ , do not expect me to befriend the Dib or anyone else. What I do on this ship is my business. Got that?"

Lard Nar threw his hands up defensively. "Hey, I won't hold you to some sort of golden standard. But there are rules on this ship. You don't have to like anyone, but I expect a certain level of respect from everyone. We're a team here, and we have each other's backs. If you can't handle that Zim, then leave now."

Zim grinned. "I thought you said you wanted me?"

"I do, but it can't be helped if you can't serve your team. You're a soldier Zim, surely you know what I'm talking about?"

Of course he knew. It was one of the first things they were taught in the academy. The number one rule was to always stay with your squad. But Zim had always preferred to work alone. He was never much of a people person.

"Zim will put up with your smelly teammates for now."

Lard Nar stuck out his hand. "Then do we have a deal?"

Zim hesitantly reached out and gripped the Vortian's offered hand. "Deal."

* * *

Atra had been kind enough to offer him a tour of the whole ship, and if Dib was being honest, it was pretty nice. If he imagined enough, he could pretend that he was at a fancy hotel, and  _not_  in a spaceship. In outer space. Millions of miles away from home.

And Dib would be lying if he said that he wasn't surprised that Lard Nar approved Zim. He must have the patience of a saint if he's willing to put up with him. As he entered the briefing room he saw Zim come in through the other entrance, and surprisingly, he entered right alongside Lard Nar. Dib would have to ask him about that later- he seemed to be into Zim, for whatever reason.

Not that he really cared who was into Zim. Obviously.

"Dib-stink," an all too familiar voice said, "where is my robot?"

Dib shrugged. "I left him in my room. It's got a TV, don't worry. He'll be occupied."

Zim narrowed his eyes at the human before plopping down in the empty seat next to him. "I worry about you corrupting him, you know."

"Me? What about  _you?"_  Dib retorted.

Zim opened his mouth to argue, but the sound of Lard Nar loudly clearing his throat interrupted him. The chatter eventually died down and the room fell silent, allowing him to speak. "New recruits, welcome to the Resisty! I am your captain, Lard Nar. I come from the planet Vort. Now then… I'm sure you all know why you're here. You're here because you believe that the scum known as the Irken Empire has gone too far! You're here because you recognize that someone has to stop them before the universe becomes one big Irken conquest! And you, brave soldiers, have risen to the challenge. That alone makes you a warrior." He clapped his hands together, grinning. "Now then, let's break the ice a little bit- our new recruits will stand and introduce themselves!"

Another Vortian, a female, immediately stood up following Lard Nar's order. "M-My name is Dei, I'm from the planet Vort. I heard of the Resisty mostly through rumors, but once I heard Lard Nar escaped, I knew it had to be true! So I decided to follow him in hopes of freeing our planet." With a respectful salute, she smiled and sat back down.

"Thank you Dei. Who's next?"

"M-My name is Fruo, and I'm from the planet Enia. I heard of the Resisty through whispers amongst the stars. My people are not a warrior race, but I have always wanted to be a soldier. So I found the Resisty in order to bring peace to my planet, and to the universe."

Fruo was tall, with lanky pale pink limbs. He had four arms and a tail- and what appeared to be hair. If not for the extra limbs, Dib might have considered him somewhat normal-looking. In fact, other than that he didn't look much different from a human. Even the "hair" looked somewhat human- it sat in short loose curls atop his head.

"Enians," Zim grumbled under his breath. "Weak and foolish."

Dib merely shushed him.

"Thank you Fruo. Next?"

"Zim is next!" The former invader rose to his feet and cleared his throat, antennae standing high at attention. "I am none other than Zim. Clearly, I come from the far superior planet, Irk. I heard of the Resisty through hearsay. Yes, Zim is well aware of your first attempt to take down the Massive. Hah! How  _pitiful_. Anyhow, you should all feel honored to have an Irken elite on your side."

Satisfied, Zim promptly seated himself. And as soon as he did, the whispers immediately started back up again.

_"Seriously? The captain recruited an Irken? Is he out of his mind?"_

_"An Irken?! But why would an Irken be on our side?"_

_"He's probably a spy…"_

"Settle down," Lard Nar ordered. The whispers seemed to die immediately, though it didn't stop the heated glares.

In an attempt to break the thickening tension, Dib stood up. Now or never. "Uh, hi. I'm Dib, I'm from the planet Earth. I'm a human. I had actually never heard of the Resisty before Atra mentioned it, but I'm glad she did. I'm here because…" He quickly glanced down at Zim, who was glaring at him expectantly, as if daring him to speak the truth. He had wanted to say, 'I'm here because I've been protecting my planet from  _him_  for years, and I want to continue to keep it safe.' But how exactly could he just…  _tell_  them that? Everyone here was already suspicious of Zim, and if he revealed that, it would only cause more trouble for the both of them. "I'm here because my planet may be in danger, and I'm the only one who can keep it safe."

That was probably a lie. Had the military been made aware of Zim's existence, it would've been taken into the hands of the government. Even so, as of right now, he was the only one on Earth that was aware of the existence of the Armada. And if there was even a slight chance that they would come to Earth, Dib would be the only hope of the human race.

After Dib sat down, the other new recruits stood up and introduced themselves. Dib's inner nerd was currently in a state of shock, being in a room  _full_  of aliens of all different species. He had thought that years of constant back and forth battling with Zim would have desensitized him to all of this, but as it turns out, he was still just as excited as he would've been at eleven years old.

"Those were our new recruits for Operation Rebuild! Recruits, report to the computer room bright and early tomorrow. We need to gather intel before we can move forward with the next phase. Dismissed!"

Dib could only watch helplessly as the crowd began to disband, the new recruits rushing about to socialize with each other and the more experienced members of the crew. Curiously, he leaned over towards Zim- better stick with the one person he actually  _knew_  here. "Is there even a concept of night and day in space?" he asked quietly.

"Not really, but some ships have a night and day simulator. It helps to keep people grounded, gives them a sense of time. Believe it or not, space travel makes some people go mad," Zim explained.

 _God._  On a ship full of aliens, Dib might end up becoming one of the mad ones.

"Welcome aboard, are you ready to see your new room?"

Zim jumped what had to be at least three feet into the air. "A-Atra-drone! What are you doing here?!"

"Taking you to your room. I was going to insist on having you share a room with your mate, but-"

"Would you stop with the mate thing already?!" Dib snapped with an embarrassed groan. "Jeez, Zim and I aren't…  _eww!"_

"Mate?! Ridiculous! Irkens don't-  _hey!"_  Zim abruptly paused before turning towards Dib, forgetting that Atra and the others were still in the room. "You should be  _honored_  that the  _idea_  of being Zim's mate would even be  _allowed_  into that filthy head of yours!"

"Oh really?" Dib retorted. "If you're so offended then the idea of a mate isn't really all that 'ridiculous', is it?" he taunted, grinning mischievously. He could never turn down an opportunity to tease Zim, even now after all these years.

Zim fumed, an angry purple flush settling across his cheeks. He opened his mouth to argue, but Atra was quick to interrupt him before a fight could break out.

 _"Anyway,"_  she said, clearing her throat, "um… Zim, if you wouldn't mind…"

"Yes, yes…" he grumbled, jumping to his feet to follow her.

Dib watched them walk away, a strange feeling stirring in his chest.

_What the hell was that about?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tWO NEW OC'S!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to announce this, but I have officially made an RP/askblog for Atra! Come say hi over at atrasspacedays

"Here we are. Sorry it's not much, but hopefully it'll do."

Zim examined the room from the doorway, flipping on the light switch. The room was modest enough and moderately sized- though he had seen better. "I suppose it will do for now."

Atra smiled. "Good. Well, I think I'm going to head back. Oh! Right- dinner is in an hour, so make sure you're at the cafeteria if you want to eat. Tonight is buffet night!"

With that, Atra turned to leave, but Zim was quick to stop her. She had kept him in the dark long enough. Tonight, he was going to get some answers out of her. "Oh no you don't! Start talking, science drone. If you are not a defective, then how are you here? Surely there's no way you overcame your own programming."

She froze, refusing to face him. "Do I have to be a defective to have common sense?" she asked calmly. "I know I must seem strange, but-"

"Strange doesn't even begin to cover it! No  _Irken_  would have helped the Dib and I escape. No  _Irken_  would have turned down an opportunity to kill me!" Zim's PAK legs shot out, elevating him so that he was at eye level with her. "So tell me, drone. Who are you  _really?"_

She stared at him quizzically for a moment, their eyes locking, before finally she sighed, a defeated smile spreading across her lips. "I really thought I could keep this up for a little longer. I was waiting to see when you'd finally notice."

"So you admit it! Reveal yourself!"

"I suppose there's no harm in it, seeing as how you've already joined the Resisty. Though I must warn you, you won't like what you're going to see." She reached for the button she kept hidden in her lab coat, and again, her Irken visage vanished. The familiar antennae and green skin vanished, and something- or rather,  _someone_  he hadn't seen in many years began to take shape.

Zim watched as her true form revealed itself, his mouth hanging open. His expression contorted into one of horror as he watched her ethereal figure take form. "Y-You, you're… you're a Meekrob!"

"Bingo."

"B-But… you… you lied…"

She waved a dismissive hand. "Yes yes, my identity was a lie to help me hide in plain sight amongst the Empire. Go figure."

"But how..? You would've… you would've had to create a fake PAK… a whole new identity for yourself… is Atra even your real name?!"

"No, but my real name would be far too complicated for you to pronounce." She clicked her tongue in mock disgust. "I can't even communicate telepathically with you. I thought that was a gift of the Irkens?"

He looked away, somewhat embarrassed by her remark. He couldn't exactly deny it. Some Irkens, usually elites, had "abilities", such as telepathy, telekinesis, or mind control. Tak, as he had come to find out, had been gifted with such an ability. "Some. Only the elites may be given such abilities."

"Oh. I see. Such a shame that your people stereotype each other like that. By 'elites', you mean the Tallers, right?"

Zim didn't answer her, but he didn't have to.

She shook her head, leaning against the wall beside the doorway. "I understand that our people have a bitter rivalry. Believe me, it's taken everything I have to even  _consider_  working with an  _Irken…_ but I think you're different from them Zim. You, and the other Irkens I met while working undercover. I think there are more like you out there, but they're scared. I wish… I could find a way to free all of them…"

He watched as that faraway look clouded her eyes- he had seen the same look on Dib multiple times. It made him  _sick_. It was a sign of weakness, and more importantly, a sign of  _pity_. "Oh, look, what a  _hero_  you are. Zim doesn't need your pity," he spat viciously before storming into his quarters, the door sliding shut behind him.

Atra merely sighed. She could only hope that he would eventually come around, otherwise this was going to be a rather tense trip.

Once inside, Zim angrily kicked at the bedpost. The absolute  _audacity_  of that Meekrob filth! He might have agreed to join this ragtag group of soldiers, but he didn't agree to be on the same team as a notorious enemy of the Irken Empire! He sighed in defeat, flopping back against the bed, falling rather unceremoniously onto the mattress. Rationally, he knew that it shouldn't matter, that now,  _he_  was just as much of an enemy to the Empire as a Meekrobian.

"Hiya master!" a shrill voice shouted from the corner of the room.

"Gir?" Zim abruptly sat up. The little robot was sitting rather comfortably, eating what appeared to be a plate of…  _something._ "I thought you were in the Dib's room?"

"It was boring in there. I misseded youuuu, master!" Within seconds Gir was on his lap, hugging and squeezing Zim like his life depended on it.

"Okay, okay!" Zim grumbled, gently pushing Gir off of him. "I can't believe this… I thought it would be bad enough being stuck on a ship with the miserable Dib-human…"

"Mary's nice!" Gir insisted. "He gave me weenies! See?!" Gir gestured to the plate of weenies he was holding. Zim opened his mouth to ask where he  _really_  got them, but ultimately decided he was probably better off not knowing.

He sighed, allowing himself to drift off into his own thoughts once more.  _"By doing this, I really am cutting off everything with the Empire, aren't I?"_

He knew full well that he could no longer be loyal to his Empire. Not after everything that happened. But years of conditioning and PAK programming were hard to overcome, even as a defective Irken. His inner soldier screamed at him, every second of every day.

_"Mutiny!"_

_"Rebellion!"_

_"Traitor!"_

_"If you can't serve your Empire then why are you even alive?!"_

_"Your life has no worth if you are not serving your Empire."_

He didn't like those thoughts. So persistent, so…  _loud._  Much louder than they were before. But Zim no longer wanted to serve anyone. Not the Tallest, not the humans, not even the Resisty. He just wanted to be Zim. Was that too much to ask?

_Apparently so._

Zim sighed, cradling his head in his hands. What sort of mess had he gotten himself into? Would he really be of any use to the Resisty now, if he could not be of use to his Empire?

_No Zim. Bad thoughts._

But as he was starting to see, the bad thoughts, more often than not, kept coming. Bad, uncontrollable thoughts that plagued his mind day and night. What was with him? He used to be able to control his fears, his desires, his insecurities. But  _now_ , now he couldn't go a day without an intrusive thought.

Zim scoffed. In the end, they were just that. Thoughts. Silly little pieces of his imagination. As long as he didn't act on them, he was fine.

* * *

Dib's new room, while it was distinctly alien, was surprisingly comfortable. It reminded Dib of a futuristic hotel room- it had a bed and a bathroom- and yes, even a TV.

He had panicked about clothes, but Atra had reassured him during the tour that all Resisty members wore uniforms. Dib had pointed out that he wasn't even sure he wanted to  _be_ in this supposed rebellion.

_"You want to protect Earth, don't you?"_ Atra had asked.

_"Uh… yeah. I do."_

_"Then that's a good enough reason to be here."_

Dib then pointed out that Atra still hadn't explained what was going on and what was so special about he and Zim. Atra had waved him off, telling him that everything would be revealed during the briefing first thing in the morning.

He couldn't even be excited about the fact that he was  _literally in space,_ thousands of miles away from the Earth. He was far too exhausted, the thoughts of his hectic day scrambling his brain. Thoughts of Lard Nar, Atra, the Resisty,  _Zim_ …

He shook his head. If he started thinking about Zim now then he wouldn't be able to stop.

He laid back onto the bed, allowing himself to get comfortable. He wasn't really sure how the whole "night and day" thing worked on this ship. For all he knew, he only had a few hours left before "daytime" began.

His gaze drifted to the small table next to the bed, where a small silver metal box sat. He  _really_ didn't have time to pack, but there was one thing he made sure to bring with him before he departed. Now that he looked back on it, bringing the chip onboard a ship full of strangers probably wasn't the smartest idea, but he didn't exactly like the idea of leaving it unattended on Earth either.

Come to think of it, he should probably hide it. After all, he was the only one that knew that it was still around. As far as Atra and Zim knew, the chip had been destroyed. He wasn't exactly a secret-keeping kind of guy, and he really wasn't into the idea of hiding the truth. Atra had mentioned that her original plan cost too many lives, but something that could override even the Control Brains had to be useful, right? Not to mention that, as much as he cared for Zim, there was still (admittedly) that inkling of mistrust, borne from years of rivalry and bitterness. He feared what may happen if Zim got his hands on that kind of power. Taking down the Empire is one thing, but what would Zim do if he had that kind of control? Would he stop at the Empire?

God. This was all too much.

He wouldn't keep it a secret much longer. In fact, tomorrow, after the briefing. He would tell Atra. And Atra would tell the others when the time was right.

_I'm sorry Zim. But I don't have a choice._

* * *

As Dib and the others quickly found out, Zim wasn't exactly accustomed to being on a crew. Last time he worked on a team, he was the head scientist- and that didn't end very well. "These uniforms are weird," Zim commented idly as he tugged on the sleeve. "I'd much prefer my old invader uniform."

"Well, you're not an invader anymore, so you don't need the uniform," Dib replied in a bored tone. Quite frankly, he liked his uniform. He thought he looked cool in it- almost like he came from an episode of  _Star Trek_  or  _Doctor Who_. It was a dark blue form-fitting outfit made of some of the finest, strongest material in the galaxy.

Zim clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Whatever. The fact that we have to take orders from a filthy Vortian is ridiculous!" he griped, sipping violently at what appeared to be a soda of some sort.

"Since when do you drink soda?" Dib asked, eyeing him curiously.

"It's an  _Irken soft drink,_ you fool."

"Irkens have soft drinks? Can I have a sip?"

Zim gasped, a look of revulsion crossing his features. "And let your filthy germs get near Zim? No way! Get your own!"

Dib snorted, rolling his eyes. "Whatever. It's probably gross anyways."

Zim's antennae perked at that. "It is not!" He sighed before reluctantly shoving the drink into Dib's hand. "Taste, and prepare to be amazed!"

He eyed the drink suspiciously, examining it like he would examine a foreign specimen. "You don't have any freaky alien germs in your spit, do you?" he asked.

Zim looked appalled at the question. "How dare you! Irkens prioritize health! Our medicinal field is unmatched by anyone else in the galaxy! Our PAKs treat almost any injury or illness within 24 of your Earth hours. So to answer your question, no. Zim is not sick, and even if he were, you wouldn't be able to contract an illness from me."

Dib blinked, as if he were unfazed by Zim's rambling. "And your spit isn't like, radioactive, right?"

"Are you going to drink it or not?!"

Dib could  _never_  pass up an opportunity to tease Zim.  _Ever_. He laughed slightly before hesitantly taking a small sip. He was pleasantly surprised to find that it was rather similar to cherry cola- with a hint of spice.  _What is that? Cinnamon?_

"Not bad," he commented before handing the drink back to Zim. "Here."

"No thanks, you keep it."

Dib opened his mouth to argue, but figured that he should've expected that. Zim was probably the world's biggest germaphobe. But that also meant that Zim willingly gave up something of his so Dib could have it. The thought made his chest get all fluttery and his face get hot- he  _really_  had to stop doing that around Zim. It was getting weird.

The briefing room wasn't as crowded as they'd been expecting. There was, of course, Lard Nar and Atra, and two other familiar faces, Dei and Fruo if Dib remembered correctly. But there were three other people in the room that Dib had never met.

"Zim! Dib!" Lard Nar exclaimed, rushing over to the door to greet them. "You're ten minutes late to briefing."

Dib grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry. Still not used to the whole night-day thing the ship has going on."

Lard Nar's eyes drifted down to meet Zim's gaze. "There's no excuse for you, Zim. You don't sleep."

Zim pointed a clawed finger up at him. "Vortian scum, Zim doesn't have to explain himself to you!"

"He was getting a soda."

_"Dib!"_

"Typical Irkens," a baritone male voice muttered. "No surprise coming from the laziest race in the galaxy."

Dib was suddenly hoping and praying to whatever gods or goddesses were out there that Zim didn't hear that. Zim, however, had some damn good hearing, and of course, he picked up on the offhanded comment right away. Without hesitation, he marched up to the source of the voice, which happened to be a rather large looking alien with deep blue skin and clear-colored eyes. His build was muscular, large, and rather than hair, pale blue tentacles grew from the top of his head, framing his wide face and prominent jawline. "Listen here Ithuanian  _trash,_ the only reason Zim isn't ripping your head off of your absurdly large body is because I made a promise. Keep that in mind."

The Ithuanian snarled, baring sharp white teeth. "You know, I really wanted to kick your ass before, but now, it looks like I really don't have a reason to hold back anymore. I might get punished for it later, but I'm sure Lard Nar wouldn't mind if I knocked you off of your high horse, no?"

"I  _would_  mind, actually." Lard Nar quickly stepped in between them, holding out a hand to prevent Zim from lunging at his throat. "Meosori, I understand your anger towards the Irken race. But Zim is different from them. He talks a big game, but he's nothing like other Irkens. In fact, he might just be the key to destroying the Empire."

"How do you know he's not a spy?" Meosori asked, eyes locked suspiciously on the small Irken in front of him.

"That human over there, Dib… he's been… sort of keeping tabs on him. If Zim were a spy, Dib would know. And he would've informed us immediately." Lard Nar then loudly clapped his hands to get the attention of the room. Once the chatter died down, he cleared his throat and stood atop the table in the center of the room. "I want you all to listen well, because I'm only going to say this once. I understand your frustrations towards the Irken Empire, but I ask that you do not take them out on our new recruit. He may not seem like it at first, but he's different from the rest of them. He's a  _defective-_ and that might be just the thing we need to kickstart the rebellion. So I ask that you treat him with the same respect you would treat any other crew member- and Zim, I ask that you do the same. You must understand that we are all a bit wary about trusting an Irken- but I sincerely believe that you will be a great asset."

Zim waved him off, pretending to mumble something under his breath, but couldn't deny that he felt a bit giddy hearing Lard Nar defend him. The last thing he ever thought he'd hear was a Vortian speaking in favor of him.

"Alright, new recruits, Zim, Dib, Fruo, and Dei! Meet your superiors!"

"Uh, weren't there a whole bunch of other new recruits?" Fruo asked. He was right, there had been a room full of newbies during orientation.

"Yes, but… let's just say you four were our favorites," Atra replied with a wink.

Lard Nar gestured to where Atra stood on the other side of the room. "This is our lead strategist and recruiter, Atrana Astralle, or Atra for short."

Atra grinned shyly, awkwardly waving her hand. "Hello, um- don't let the disguise fool you, I'm actually…" She shuffled around her uniform for the button before pressing it, allowing her Irken visage to disappear. "One hundred percent Meekrob."

Dib gasped as he watched her true form reveal itself. Really, it shouldn't have been as surprising as it was. Of course. He should've fucking guessed. There's no way a defective Irken would've gotten out on their own. It made no sense, yet also the  _most_  sense- go figure.

He noticed that Zim appeared rather unfazed about the whole thing. "Zim?" he whispered. "Are you…"

"Eh? I already knew! The science beast showed me last night," Zim explained in a hushed whisper, waving him off in favor of listening to the introductions.

"She told… you, and not me?" Dib asked incredulously.

Zim shrugged, a rather smug grin creeping across his face. "It seems that way. Perhaps the science drone has realized Zim's superiority?"

Dib was honestly feeling a little betrayed. He felt like it was something important about her that he deserved to know if they were going to be in a crew together. What did Zim do that he didn't?

Oh well. He wasn't going to let it get to him, just so long as Zim didn't keep rubbing it in his face. "Whatever."

"This is Meosori, from planet Ithuania. He's our weapons specialist and assistant engineer. He will be your instructor for weapons training."

Dib could only sigh. That alien looked spooky enough, but now that there was already a tension between Zim and Meosori, it would only make training for the rest of the recruits that much more difficult.

"And  _this_  is Infera Saari, the head engineer. She is from the planet Anokt. She's also the head chef!"

Infera was short, with vermilion skin and forest green eyes. She surprisingly had hair, two long ponytails reaching her lower back, but upon closer inspection, Dib found that her hair was  _moving. On its own._ Was that hair like an additional appendage? He knew it would probably be rude to ask, but he couldn't help but wonder.

"And finally, this is Vythani Wuo, our head doctor. He comes from the planet Heirus. He's an ex-soldier, and therefore will serve as your combat trainer."

Vythani was tall, lanky, and if Dib was being honest, somewhat attractive, even by human standards. He definitely wouldn't have taken him for a former soldier. Unlike most of the aliens onboard this ship, Vythani was the most human looking one. His skin was a light shade of lavender, with two arms and two legs. The only things that really stood out were the horns on either side of his head, curling inwards slightly before jutting outwards, and the claws on all eight of his fingers. Similarly to Infera, there was a deep purple substance on his head that looked similar to hair, but it was barely noticeable. He seemed to keep it cut short (if it really was hair. Perhaps it was the Heirus equivalent?)

Realizing that he was probably staring, Dib blushed and looked away, clearing his throat awkwardly.

"This is all well and good," Zim interjected, "except that you  _have no plan!_  What kind of army doesn't even have a plan to take down their enemy?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Lard Nar circled around the table in the center of the room. "The fact is,  _you_ are crucial to our plan Zim."

"Whaa..?"

"Well, not you in  _particular,"_ Atra corrected. "But other Irkens that are like you. Defectives."

Zim noticeably flinched at the term.

"I met them while working undercover," she explained. "There are plenty more out there. Hundreds, thousands even. The Empire likes to treat it as some sort of rarity, but it's really not. It's a lot more common than you'd think. I believe that if we can manage to help a number of them escape the Empire… then we'll have enough soldiers to kickstart the rebellion."

The idea was ludicrous. Recruiting thousands of defective Irken soldiers without the Empire knowing? "But Zim and I barely escaped with our lives! How are we going to get thousands of Irkens out of the Empire?" Dib questioned incredulously.

"We won't need thousands, just a few," Atra told him. "In theory, that will be enough to launch our first attack. And when the others start to see the fall of the Empire, they will follow suit."

"Right now they're sitting ducks," Vythani added. "They can't do so much as blink while under the surveillance of the Empire and the Control Brains."

Dib found himself briefly wondering how Vythani was familiar with Earth sayings. Had he visited before?

"So in other words, the first step is liberating the defectives?" Dei asked.

Lard Nar smirked. "Bingo."

"And then what?" Zim challenged. "Even if you get a few thousand Irken soldiers on your side, that still doesn't guarantee victory. Besides, not every defective Irken is going to decide to follow you."

"If they wish for a better future, then I hope that they'll see that this is the most logical path for them. But you're right Zim, that won't be enough to stop the Empire."

"So what's our next move then?" Fruo asked. "Taking out the Tallest?"

Atra shook her head. "We could, but after conferring amongst ourselves, we came to the conclusion that it's too risky. Besides, we can't risk losing Tallests Red and Purple. They're too valuable. Chances are they know most, if not  _all_  the secrets of the Empire whether they realize it or not."

"Besides," Infera interjected, a smirk spreading across her lips, "the Tallests are just figureheads. Without the Control Brains, they don't really hold any power."

Infera's voice was thick and heavy with an alien accent. If Dib had to guess, it could be most accurately described as a mixture between Scottish and Spanish. And he had sort of figured that already- that the Control Brains were really the ones pulling all the strings. Needless to say, they weren't going to be easy to take out.

_But, with the chip…_

Dib held his tongue. He couldn't reveal something like that here in front of everyone, not on the first day anyway.

"But before we do anything, you lot need training. You will undergo exactly one month of training, two weeks for combat training and two weeks for weaponry. Most of you are already soldiers, so I expect a lot out of you." Meosori's narrow eyes locked with Dib's. Dib averted his gaze. It's not exactly his fault that joining the military wasn't exactly on his priority list. Besides, to them, the Earth military was probably considered pathetic.

"We'll keep you updated on the status of our plan. Every day we will have a general assembly, so of course the other soldiers will be kept updated as well."

"Why just us four?" Dei blurted. She shyly ducked her head, as if regretting having asked. "What makes us more special than the other recruits?"

"Nothing in particular," Lard Nar replied bluntly, "but the four of you have abilities or resources that we consider crucial to the mission. Therefore, you four have officially been upgraded to special privates."

_"Commander_  Zim has a much better ring to it, don't you think?" Zim suggested slyly with a grin.

"Nice try,  _private,"_ Atra teased.

"What about me, then? Why am I here? I mean…" Dib shuffled his weight awkwardly on his feet, looking down at the floor. "All you guys probably have military experience and special powers, but-"

This wasn't particularly like him, to feel so unsure of himself and his abilities. Back on Earth he was fairly certain he was one of the smartest people alive- but now that he was on a ship with a bunch of aliens, the playing field was different, and Dib had no idea where he stood.

"Don't sell yourself short," Lard Nar interrupted. "Your record is remarkable in many ways. Your hacking skills are nearly incomparable- well, they could be matched by your sister Gaz. Perhaps we should've recruited her as well…"

"Get to the point," Dib snapped. He didn't like being compared to his sister- who could, theoretically, be better than him at just about everything if she tried. Thankfully she didn't care enough.

"Right. Well, considering that the Control Brains are, well,  _giant computers-_ we think you'd be a pretty big help. Not only that, but we've been following your rivalry with Zim for several years. You've held your own against an Irken. That's admirable for anyone, but especially a human."

"Please, the Dib just got lucky, that's all," Zim retorted, his mouth twisted into a displeased frown.

"For seven years, Dib just got lucky?" Meosori questioned incredulously, his grin wide and taunting.

"Shove it, ape-creature."

_"Regardless,_  Dib… we need you. Without you… we can't move forward. We don't have time to find another hacker as good as you. There are very few in the universe."

He met the captain's eyes through his goggles and found that there was a slim chance that he wasn't being sincere. He had a feeling that Lard Nar wasn't a very good liar anyway. But this feeling, this feeling of being wanted- no,  _needed_... it felt nice. To have others acknowledge you and trust you with a mission. A  _job_.

"…Okay, then. I'm… I'm in."

He didn't really have a choice now, did he? He was in this for the long haul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mORE OC'S 
> 
> someone stop me i have too many beebs


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, angst warning

Dib had to admit- the food wasn't great. But Lard Nar had mentioned that while this ship was large and accommodating it wasn't exactly  _luxury_ , as opposed to the Massive. But it was tolerable. The white stuff on his plate kinda tasted like mashed potatoes, so he could deal.

"Eww." Zim cringed, disgusted as he seated himself beside Dib. "Even here, the food is disgusting! I thought I'd finally find something I could enjoy now that I'm not on Earth."

Earth food. He hadn't even been in space that long and he was already starting to miss things from his home planet. "God, I'd kill for a cheeseburger right now," Dib replied with a small groan of annoyance, stirring around the thick, white substance on his plate. "I miss Earth food already and it's only day one."

"Get used to it, Dib-smell. There's no going back now."

No going back. Huh.

He got up, tossing the food on his plate into the trash. He placed the now empty plate on top of the trash can and returned to his spot next to Zim. "Look, Zim, this isn't exactly easy for me to say, but… thanks for coming with me. You didn't have to do this."

Zim looked up, meeting his eyes cautiously. "Zim can't allow the Dib to venture off into space by himself. There's no way I'm letting some other Irken get the pleasure of killing you."

Dib ducked his head, laughter coming naturally to him. It felt good to laugh like this. It had been a long time since he'd genuinely laughed at something Zim said. "Can't let that happen, can we?"

Zim shook his head, but didn't say anything more.

"I mean it though," Dib continued. He didn't know why he couldn't let this go, but the words kept coming out uncontrollably, slipping past his lips unbidden. "Thank you. You may not be doing this to save Earth, but you are technically going to save a lot of people by doing this. Not just humans, either.  _Millions_  of lives. We're going to be part of that. You and I."

An uncharacteristically bitter smile crossed alien lips. "Invader Zim, the joke of the universe, suddenly becoming its savior. When did that happen?"

He didn't need to ask. He knew exactly when things began to change.

_The day I met you._

"But that makes it worth it to you, doesn't it?" Zim continued, before Dib could answer his question. "Just knowing that others will live on because of you."

Dib shrugged. "Well… yeah, I suppose."

"…I see."

_You can never be like him._

_Dib and these people save lives. You aren't one of them. You can't be._

_You destroy. It's what you do best. You should be the very thing they're fighting against._

He closed his eyes, attempting to filter out the voices of insecurity filling his head, screaming at him that he could  _never change._ He was a monster. That's what he started out as, and it's how he would inevitably end. A defective, yeah. The joke of his people, most definitely. A monster? He'd never entertained the thought. He hadn't been able to see it before, but lately, it was like he was coming to one realization after the other. His senses felt renewed, awakened…  _alive._

_But these feelings…_

He could handle fighting against his Empire, even if he was screaming at himself every waking minute of every day to stop. He couldn't deny that a part of himself wanted this fight too, to see the Tallest pay for the hell they put him through. But there was still one part of him that he couldn't run away from. No amount of PAK programming or human friendships could change this.

Who was he kidding? He was already too late, in too deep. But even so, he... he  _couldn't_ …

Zim abruptly stood up. "I'm going to my room. I'll see you at dinner."

"Wha- Zim, hey! Lunch isn't over yet!" Dib quickly followed after him. He managed to get close enough to grab Zim's wrist, effectively stopping him. "Zim, where are you going all the sudden?"

"To my room, to check on Gir." He yanked his wrist out of Dib's hold. "Why?"

"Cause you kind of walked out on our conversation?"

"I was under the impression our conversation was finished."

"What are you not telling me? Ever since I rescued you from the Massive something's been up with you. It's like you're Zim but you're…  _not_ , at the same time."

Zim's crimson gaze fell to the floor, as if something there had suddenly caught his attention. "Zim is fine."

Zim should know better by now. He should know that Dib had grown well accustomed to reading him and his expressions. "Zim, nothing is going to get solved if you keep walking away from this. I know you're new to emotions and stuff like that, but you um… don't have to take them on alone. I um…" He awkwardly cleared his throat. "I'm not good at this sort of thing. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm... here for you..?"

Zim was silent for a good thirty seconds, glaring heatedly up at Dib like he was going to reach up and claw his eyes out any second. When he finally spoke, his voice was dripping with malice. "If you're implying that I've become weak and soft like a pathetic human, then save it. I'm still the same Zim I've always been."

"Zim, we both know that's not true. And it's not…  _bad,_ to feel emotion. It's not a weakness."

"It's a  _distraction,"_  Zim corrected, pointing a gloved finger up at Dib. "Why do you think defectives are frowned upon?"

"Frowned upon? For having emotion?" Dib laughed bitterly. "No offense, but that's bullshit."

Zim shook his head, his antennae flattening against his skull. "It's  _logical_. If Irkens rely on emotions, it will lead to impulsive decisions that could threaten the mission. An Irken must be kept free of any and all biases in order to make rational choices that will hopefully benefit the mission," he explained.

Dib was growing more and more frustrated. He absolutely hated when Zim talked down to him and treated him like he was a lesser being. Sure, that was the usual, but as of late, Dib had finally felt like Zim was starting to see him as more of an equal. He breathed out a heavy sigh. "Is that what your empire has taught you? God, Zim, when are you going to wake up?! You're not part of the empire anymore! You never have been!"

"Zim  _is_  awake!" he retorted. He stepped forward until he had Dib pressed against the wall, his hand fisted tightly in the fabric of Dib's shirt. "I am aware. But this isn't exactly something I can just forget- it's literally been ingrained, seared into my very being from the moment I was hatched. So forgive Zim if he is not exactly  _over_  his basic programming!

"That's not what I'm saying," Dib argued. "I'm not expecting you to get over it right away, but what I  _am_  saying is that you're not alone anymore. So if you're having trouble getting over it, then let me help! Maybe that goes against your basic programming too, but you're different now. You've changed."

"Wanna bet?" Zim challenged. "Do you think I still won't kill you here and now?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Please, I know you won't."

Zim could fight and deny all he wanted, but even he knew it was true. He simply wasn't what he used to be. But that didn't have to be a bad thing. Zim just chose to see it that way because he hadn't ever been taught a better way.

Perhaps Dib could teach him that way.

"Please don't run from your feelings anymore, Zim. I don't know much about it myself, but I know that pushing them down like that can't be good…"

Zim sighed and released Dib from the wall, turning his back to him. "There is nothing I'm 'pushing down', I'm fine-"

Dib wasn't letting him get away. He had let Zim walk away too many goddamn times. Not again. He grabbed Zim by the shoulder and whirled him around so he was facing him. "God, no you're not! Zim, can you stop being stubborn for a minute and tell me how you honestly feel for once?!"

Zim hesitated for a moment, refusing to make eye contact at first, before he finally looked up to meet Dib's gaze. It was that same hateful look earlier, though now his eyes looked darkened with bitterness, spite, pure  _white_   _hot_  anger. Zim's eyes reminded him of nebulae, they always had, but now that he was staring right into them, they resembled fire. Dark, passionate fire that Dib felt might burn him if he got any closer. "…You want to know how I  _honestly_   _feel_ , Dib? I loathe you. I absolutely  _loathe_  you, for turning me into this. It's bad enough being a defective, but then you come along and you… you make it… worse! I hate you for making me second guess everything all the time, I hate you for always messing with my amazing Zim-head, I hate you for making me-"

Realizing he had said too much, Zim abruptly silenced himself. He met Dib's eyes with a heated glare of finality before he turned around and headed back towards his room, leaving a stunned Dib alone in the hallway.

* * *

The first thing Zim did when he entered his room was scream.

He fell face-first onto his bed and screamed into the provided pillow, as loud as he could. Even when he felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, he didn't stop. The tears didn't stop, either. They just kept coming, running down his face in thick streams.  _Damn it._

He meant everything he said. He wouldn't apologize for stating facts. He had always hated Dib, but this… this was a whole new level of hatred, one he never thought he'd reach. He hated Dib Membrane for being the first human to oppose him. He hated Dib Membrane for being the only constant in his life. He hated Dib Membrane for smiling at him, for showing him diner fries, for holding his hand that night under the stars, by Irk, he  _hated him._

"I hate you," he muttered out-loud, his voice raspy and wracked with sobs. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…"

"Don't cry Master!" Gir leapt out from underneath the bed. "It's gonna be alright! Look, I gots a friend!"

Turns out Gir's "friend" was a just a toy piggy. Nonetheless, Zim couldn't help but chuckle. Gir had a funny way of cheering him up, even if that wasn't the robot's intention. "Yeah," he replied, wiping at the corners of his eyes. "You do."

Gir smiled cheerily before jumping onto the bed next to Zim. His head suddenly slid open with a quiet hiss. He reached inside, as if searching for something, before pulling out a tissue. "Here Master! Blow your nose on this!"

"I don't have a nose Gir. But uh… thanks, I guess."

Surprisingly, after that, Gir was quiet, humming some random tune to himself as he played contentedly with his rubber piggy. He was seated on Zim's lap and appeared rather comfortable, so much so that Zim didn't want to move him.

Zim let out a shaky, unsteady breath, raising his head to look at the dark metal ceiling. What did the Dib do to him?

_How could he make it stop?_

* * *

Dib was absolutely  _livid._

_Fuck him, if that's how he feels, then I'm not going to waste my time with him anymore._

Except he knew deep down that that simply wasn't true, that no matter what he felt towards Zim he could never leave him alone. Not now. Zim's made himself essential to Dib, and he knew the feeling was mutual. And that's what made all of this so  _goddamn frustrating._ That no matter how much Zim pissed him off, he knew he'd come crawling back like a kicked puppy because that's how fucking obsessed he was.

Why did it have to be Zim, of  _all_  the aliens in the universe? He could've gotten a friendly alien, or maybe an alien that was actually competent and could get the job done. But  _no_ , of all people, it had to be  _Zim_.

_"I loathe you."_

Bullshit.

_"I loathe you for turning me into this."_

**_Bullshit._ **

It was fucking bullshit, all of it. Zim didn't hate him. He couldn't. He  _saw_  the way Zim looked at him- there certainly wasn't burning hatred in his eyes like there used to be. If he weren't so furious, he'd march up to Zim's room right now and demand a talk, but he was afraid that if he went while in such a foul mood he'd end up starting a fight, and the last thing he wanted was to get in trouble on his first day.

_"Shit, I forgot! Training starts tomorrow!"_

He knew he needed rest. It was going to take a while to adapt to the day and night simulator and he knew his sleep schedule was going to suffer a little bit until he figured this out. But it's difficult to slip into a tranquil state of mind when all you can think about is an annoying, short green alien that gets under your skin more than anyone else in this universe.

He slipped into the bed, wrapping the covers tightly around himself. Tomorrow would be his first real day as a soldier.

* * *

"Irkens are one of the most advanced races in the galaxy, and therefore, have some of the most dangerous weapons. Irken PAK's, while they're vulnerable in theory, are built with dangerous weapons inside them."

Dib hadn't imagined that weapons training would include presentations and lectures- it was like high school all over again.

"There are very few things that can combat Irken weaponry," Meosori continued, "thankfully for us; we have access to some of those weapons."

Dib snuck a quick glance over at Zim. He was wearing his usual pokerface, but his foot was tapping impatiently. God, he hoped they started doing something soon before Zim said something to get himself in trouble.

"While most of you are soldiers and have experience with firearms, it's important that we conduct training in a safe manner. Most of this technology is foreign to you, so you need to be patient and cautious when handling these weapons. In order to do so, I'll be taking you in groups of five to the indoor shooting range. I've assigned three groups based on your skill set and your history with firearms. The little slip of paper I gave you this morning will have your group number on it. Group one will be the most experienced, group two will be those with some experience, and group three will be those with no experience."

Great. This really  _was_ just like high school. Dib looked down at the slip of paper he'd folded and placed in his pocket at the beginning of class. A bold "2" was scrawled messily in the top left corner.

He couldn't help it. Curiosity was getting the best of him. Despite the fact that they weren't really on the best of terms, he  _had to know._  "Zim, what group did you get?"

Zim jumped slightly, as if startled by Dib's sudden question, before smirking proudly and puffing out his chest. "The Meosori drone has rightfully deemed me number one."

" _You_ got into the top group?!"

"But of course, Dib. You forget that I've been flying ships and using weapons far before you were ever  _born."_

When had he forgotten that, despite Zim's incompetence, he was once a soldier? Sure, invaders weren't the highest class soldier in Irken society, but they were certainly among one of the most respected, most revered groups.

"Right. Well, good luck I guess."

Dib guessed that he couldn't complain- he was honestly expecting worse. The fact that Meosori deemed him somewhat competent with a weapon was surprising- he'd figured that as a human his skill set wouldn't really count.

"Group three, you're up first! You're the group I'll need to spend the most time with, after all. The rest of you will be called in intermittently throughout the day. You're free to leave if you want. You will be notified via intercom when your group is called. Every day, for the next two weeks, you will have a two hour long training session. Then, you will begin combat training with Vythani for the remainder of the month. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes sir!"

"Groups one and two, you're dismissed for lunch now! Group three, with me!"

Dib craned his neck to look over his shoulder, and was rather surprised to find Dei, the polite but awkward Vortian girl, in group three. Perhaps he had overestimated everyone else's skill sets. Even so, it didn't really make him feel like he fit in any more. He was still the only human on this ship- which wasn't something he was used to.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer."

Dib was surprised to find the snarky comment coming from none other than Atra. She seemed to have stopped wearing her Irken disguise- Dib was still getting used to seeing her as a being of pure energy. He could almost describe her appearance as ghostly.

"I didn't mean to gawk at her; this place is just so new to me. And uh, so are you… I'm still not used to… your um… true form." Dib imagined that she could make herself appear however she wanted, within reason of course.

"Would you prefer if I use my Irken disguise? I tend not to wear it here, as it makes people… uncomfortable."

Dib shook his head. "No, it's okay, it's just… a lot to take in, especially for a human. Um, how about this? Let's go to lunch."

Atra's face seemed to light up at the suggestion. "I don't eat, but sure." She looked over Dib's shoulder at where Zim was standing, eyeing him from his spot against the wall. "Zim, would you like to come along?"

Zim looked up, eyeing the two of them curiously, before waving them off with a dismissive hand. "I have other matters to attend to. Gir is probably starving. I should go take care of him."

Dib blinked, confused. "Oh, uh… okay. Go ahead, then…"

Zim straightened from his slouched position against the wall and made his way out of the room, his shoulder brushing Dib's arm as he pushed past him. Dib couldn't help but stare as he made his way out of the room, like he was in some sort of trance.

Atra awkwardly cleared her throat, breaking Dib free of his reverie. "I take it… something happened between you two?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "If he wants to act like that then whatever, that's his problem. I'm not gonna let it bother me." The sour expression was suddenly replaced with a soft smile. "So, you said something about lunch?"

* * *

"My body is an illusion of light and psychic energy," she explained. "I took on a humanoid form since it's something most people can comprehend."

Dib couldn't help it. He was intrigued- his love for the extraterrestrial hadn't ever died, had it? "So, um… is your body… physical? Can I touch you?"

She chuckled. "Semi-physical. It's not like a hologram."

He eagerly nodded as he took a bite out of… something that resembled chocolate pudding, but tasted more like gravy. Huh. "So, then what are your weaknesses? If you're pure energy, you can theoretically live forever, right?"

Atra fiddled with the hem of her sleeve- she had kept the labcoat from her Irken disguise, as Dib had come to notice. "We're not…  _pure energy,_ so to speak. Our energy is more like our life force- like the blood that flows through your veins. Although we have no physical needs, our energy is not eternal. Meekrobians can live for thousands of years- I'm barely seven hundred," she told him. "We're kind of like a hive-mind- we give life to each other, in a sense. We're all connected. But even we recognize that no one can live forever- it is one of our biggest principles."

"So, you mean... you could theoretically decide when you want to die?"

"We do not experience death. Rather, we experience... rebirth."

"What if someone decides they don't want to be reborn?"

"That wouldn't happen. It is the fate of every Meekrobian."

She sounded so oddly sure of herself- it only made Dib more curious. He would have to ask about all of that later-  _rebirth,_ and how it compared to death in the traditional sense. He had heard something about the Meekrob as a kid, but had never gotten the chance to study it. Dib suddenly pushed his tray aside, now disinterested in his food as he leaned closer to her. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? How come Zim knew before I did? Why didn't you just tell me back then?"

"It wasn't safe for me to reveal myself to you yet. If anyone found out my secret too soon, I would've been in trouble. I told Zim because he was suspecting me and it was the perfect opportunity."

"So what, you were waiting for an "opportunity" with me too?"

Atra cocked her head, confused. Dib noted the way her large, pupil-less navy blue eyes bored into his. She genuinely didn't seem to understand why this was upsetting to him, and it was rather baffling. "Is that a bad thing? You'll have to forgive me, Dib, I'm not familiar with human customs-"

"It's not a human custom, it's being a decent person, and not hiding things!" Dib fired back, unsure of where his sudden anger came from.

She ducked her head, as if she were suddenly ashamed. "I… I see. I… didn't realize it was that important to you, but… Dib, you must understand… you're on a ship full of aliens, who know nothing about humans or Earth. Just because they're different doesn't mean they're not people too, but they're raised in all kinds of different societies, so… who knows how they'll react to certain things? But I realize I acted carelessly with your feelings, so for that, I suppose I… apologize."

He supposed that he couldn't fault her entirely- she was right. This ship was full of aliens with different cultures, customs, and values. Still though, it would've been nice to know ahead of time. But now that he knew her true form, it only made things that much more confusing.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have yelled, it's just... I'm really stressed, I guess. So Atra, tell me, how did you-"

_"Attention, new recruits! Group 2, report to the weapons room for training immediately!"_

Great. Of course. Had two hours really gone by that quickly?

"Looks like it's your turn," Atra said with a slight grin.

Dib rolled his eyes before grabbing his tray. "This conversation isn't over- there are still things I wanna ask you."

"My door is always open. Oh, and Dib?"

Dib paused just as he was about to dump his tray and head out the door. "Yeah?"

"You and Zim… chances are you're going to be on this ship together for a long while. I'm not knowledgeable on relationships, and I don't know what sort of hardship you're going through… but whatever it is must pass. For the sake of our mission. Remember that."

Dib could only nod slowly as he made his way out of the cafeteria. The way she talked about missions almost made her sound Irken. Perhaps Meekrob and Irk weren't so different after all.


	7. Chapter 7

The Vortian was right- there were some space anomalies that were worth looking at. Dark matter, gamma ray bursts, black holes- space was a tricky thing. Irkens were one of the most advanced races in the universe, yet not even  _they_  knew everything there was to know about space- it was still a great mystery, even to them. But Zim had never really took the time to stop and appreciate it- at least, not until now. Lately he seemed to have developed a fondness for things he never would've looked twice at not too long ago.

"Enjoying the view?"

_Great_ \- other than Dib, Lard Nar was the  _last_ person he wanted to be bothered by. He chose to ignore him, simply focusing on the stars slowly swirling past them. He could hear Lard Nar's light footsteps as he approached, standing beside him to take in the sight.

"I see outer space every day, yet it never ceases to amaze me," he said, hoping to earn some sort of reaction out of Zim. When he received nothing but silence in response, he cleared his throat. "Ahem, so, how are you adjusting to life on the ship?"

"Wouldn't be the first ship I've lived on." Zim shrugged. "Why do you care?"

"I care about all of my recruits, and I want to make sure you're adjusting properly. Nothing more, nothing less."

When he  _wasn't_  under extreme pressure, Lard Nar was always clear, concise, and easy to read. Zim could admire that about the Vortian- not that he'd ever admit it. He wasn't cryptic or cunning- he was open, honest, and told Zim the truth, even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Zim is fine. You don't have to worry- I won't be a threat to the mission."

Lard Nar nodded- though his pensive expression told Zim that the mission wasn't all he was worried about. "I really meant what I said Zim. I believe in your skill set. I believe in  _you._ "

He had never known that feeling, to have someone  _truly_  believing in him. It felt… nice; flattering in a strange but not unwelcome way. For someone to put their faith in you... it made Zim feel important in ways he had always tried to felt long ago.

_"Although,"_  he thought,  _"now might be a good time to get some answers out of him."_

"Zim has been wondering… you mentioned that the Tallest were figureheads… but once you begin the rebellion, what will you do with them?"

Lard Nar's eyes widened from beneath his goggles. "Why do you ask?"

"…Zim is not saying this out of loyalty. I know how the Tallest feel about me. But I… if you're planning to kill them once you've gotten the information you want-" he stopped himself before he could go on and say something foolish,  _again._  "No. Never mind, it's... ridiculous. Forget I said anything."

"Zim," Lard Nar placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "I understand. I know you're still feeling conflicted about this- it's only natural, what with that device on your back telling you to. Speaking of which, our records on you mentioned the chip that Atra had made… how are you? Did your PAK sustain any long-lasting damage from it?"

"N-No, except…" Zim's expression shifted once, from one of consideration, then again to one of feigned annoyance. "Well, it's not important."

"Anything regarding the health of my soldiers is important. As your captain, I… order you to tell me."

Zim had to fight off an amused smirk. "…My PAK has been making me behave strangely as of late. As a defective, my PAK has always been broken, but I always just thought it was the emotional stabilizer. But lately, it's almost as if my PAK's efficiency is going down. I've been running diagnostic after diagnostic, but the results always come back fine."

"That… doesn't sound good." Lard Nar laughed sheepishly, as if he was unsure of how to react. Zim couldn't blame him. "I would make an appointment to go see Dr. Vythani- he's not an expert on Irken PAK's, but he might be able to run a few tests on your physical body and see if that has anything to do with it."

"Zim will be fine. I don't need his help," he spat. "I'll do some tinkering with it- I can fix it in intervals."

"If you insist. I can't make you go." He heaved a heavy sigh. "Well, I'll go ahead and take my leave. Get some rest Zim, and keep an eye on your PAK."

Zim didn't turn around to watch him as he left, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the door slide closed. Finally, a minute to himself. He'd been craving moments like this for a while now- time to think, time to  _breathe._

He didn't think the Dib's…  _feelings_ would end up infecting his PAK too, but damn it all, he literally  _couldn't_  get him out of his head. Something had to be done about this, and  _fast._ If Dib was affecting his PAK somehow, then his life could very well be in danger.

_"I need to stop… whatever this is with the Dib-beast."_

Killing Dib was obviously out of the question- he'd tried that many times in the past, and it never seemed to work out the way he wanted it to. And now, with his current "feelings" predicament, that wasn't even an option anymore. Perhaps he couldn't kill the Dib physically, but humans, as he had come to find out, were weak to their emotions. Zim, while weaker than most Irkens, was not soft like a human, no matter how much Dib tried to poison him.

_"Not everything has to be a fight between us, Zim."_

Then why? If this wasn't a fight, surely he wouldn't be tormenting him like this. Dib didn't care about him if  _this_  was how he treated him. Making him agonize over every little thing; turning him into a weak, remorseful coward.

"DAMN IT!" Zim slammed his fist into the glass. White hot pain shot through his wrist and traveled up to his fingertips with a throbbing fury, but he was far too invested in his own thoughts to care. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

He could scream till his throat was raw, curse Dib's name for eternity, but nothing would make him hate Dib more than he already hated himself, for allowing the almighty Zim to fall so far. He would be the weakling no more. All his life he had been the screw-up, but not this time. He was  _Zim!_ No longer could he have the title of invader attached to his name, but that hardly mattered. This was a new Zim, who was loyal to nobody. Not the Empire, not the Tallest, not the Resisty, and certainly not Dib. Turning against the Empire was  _his_ choice, and his alone. He wouldn't allow Dib to take credit for that part of his life.

His hands clenched into fists. If caring about Dib was going to feel like  _this_ , he would have no part of it.

_"Attention, new recruits! Group 1, your training session starts now! Report to the weapons room immediately!"_

Zim was somewhat grateful for the interruption. At least now, he'd have something to take his mind off things for a while.

* * *

"Rumor has it you managed to dupe the Empire."

Atra jumped at the sudden voice. She turned around from her work and was surprised to find Infera leaning casually against the doorway, a smirk on her lips. She had her arms folded across her chest, her tendrils of hair swaying ever so slightly behind her. She raised one gloved hand up to wave. "Hiya there, Atrana Astralle. Name's Infera."

Atra blinked slowly. "Yes, we've met... can I help you with something?"

Infera laughed dryly, stepping into the room. She grabbed a nearby chair and swung her legs over either side, draping her arms over the top and resting her chin on her wrists. "Mm, maybe? See, I was doin' some diggin'- I'm a pretty good hacker- and your file seems to elude me. I was reading up on the captain's report about you and, well... your existence in general doesn't make sense, let alone how you managed to escape the Empire."

"What were you doing looking through my file?" Atra asked, her eyes narrowing.

"As a lieutenant, I have access to all the files of those who are on this ship. So, how about you put all these rumors to rest and tell me how you did it? You're not in trouble, I'm just... curious, and I've been  _itching_ for a good story."

Atra rose from her chair, facing Infera directly. "From what I can tell, you're concerned for the safety of the team. I promise, despite how things look on my file, I never came with any malicious intent."

"Are ya sure about that? Cause according to your file, you used Zim as a cover-up... what would you have done if he hadn't been there? Thrown some other defective Irken on the chopping block just to cover your intentions?"

"Of course not! I.. I never wanted to hurt anybody, I just-"

Infera rolled her eyes. "If the human didn't stand in the way, would you have really spared Zim?"

"I…" Atra looked away, feeling Infera's sharp words cut through her like a knife. That same uncomfortable pull deep in her chest was back again- she was starting to lose herself. She hated that feeling- it always made her head spin, and she'd lose her train of thought. Despite not needing to breathe, she took in a long breath to calm herself- oddly enough, she found that it worked. "...That's none of your concern."

Again Infera ignored her words, pressing on. "I thought the Meekrob believed in strength in numbers. Why did you act on your own? If you were going to stage a coup in disguise, you'd think there'd be tons of other Meekrob there with you."

"Infera-"

She jabbed her thumb back up at herself, pointing it towards her chest as she continued. "What's the matter, are you overwhelmed? I'm asking the questions that Lard Nar  _should've_  asked a long time ago. I'm questioning you since no one else will." Infera exhaled slowly. After realizing that she had gotten rather close to the Meekrobian, she breathed in again to collect herself before taking a few steps back. "Alright, uh, geez... you look scared... I uh, I  _apologize_  for coming off as aggressive, but I'm just… concerned. Both for you and the safety of the team."

Astonished, Atra nodded slowly, her eyes unblinking and locked onto her, watching her closely as if waiting for her next move. "I… I understand," she choked out. She stepped past her to shut the door. It closed quickly with a small hiss, and before silence could fill the room again, she asked "Why don't you have a seat, and we'll talk this out?"

* * *

Dib had successfully completed his first week of training, and he had to admit, it felt pretty good.

It took him a while to adjust to all the different types of alien weaponry. Despite Meosori's intimidating size, he was a surprisingly good instructor. He was gentle and clear when he spoke- Dib felt like he knew exactly what he was doing with Meosori's instructions. If he was being honest, they weren't all that different from Earth firearms.

_That's it Dib, steady. Keep your body aligned._

_Stop shaking. I know you're nervous, but you need to relax yourself. Treat it like an extension of your body._

This week would be spent practicing with moving targets. For the first time in a while, Dib felt confident about something.

He'd also spent the past week having lunch with Fruo and Dei. Fruo, while he was a bit full of himself, was truly passionate about this mission, about being a soldier. He spent most of the lunch and dinner periods telling stories about his home planet- and both Dib and Dei listened intently. Dei seemed to be rather thrilled with him- and it made Dib wonder if perhaps she had a crush. Did aliens have crushes? Was that possible?

Dei was nice enough. She was shy, inexperienced and fumbled over her words a bit, but she had that same fire that Fruo had, that same desire to fight. Dib admired that about them- he had originally joined because he thought he was doing Atra a favor, but if he was getting to protect Earth in the process, then it definitely made this favor worth it. This place was still rather new to him, but everyone here seemed so close already, like they'd known each other for years. He yearned for that kind of connection with someone. He had sort of been hoping that someone would be Zim, but as of late, he didn't seem interested.

Dib had tried to apologize for their fight multiple times, but every time, Zim would just slam the door in his face or walk away- or make some lame excuse about how he needed to leave. He couldn't understand it- here he was trying to apologize and put shit behind them, but it seemed like Zim just wanted to stay angry. He had tried not to let it distract him, but  _damn_  if it didn't make him angry. Why was Zim treating him like a second class citizen all the sudden? Even when they were enemies, Zim never treated him like  _that_ , like he wasn't even worth talking to. He  _always_  had something to say to him.

He knew Zim had a tendency to be over-dramatic, but not like this. Something else had to be going on, something that Zim wasn't telling him.

* * *

"Zim! Open up!"

Where the hell was he? It wasn't like Zim to be late- even at school, he was always punctual, and he took pride in that. He took his education surprisingly seriously.

A few moments later the door slid open and Dib was astonished at the sight that greeted him. The Zim that stood before him couldn't possibly be the Zim he knew. Gone was the red and black resistance uniform that had been given to him, and he instead donned his usual invader's uniform. His antennae hung lazily on either side of his head; his narrowed eyes surrounded by dark circles and faded lines.

Simply put, he looked  _exhausted._

"You look terrible," Dib blurted. "Are you okay..?"

Ruby eyes darkened before narrowing into dangerous slits, his jaw clenching tightly. "Oh yes, Dib. Zim is doing  _fantastic,_ I'm just  _great!_  Can you not tell from the  _sleep deprivation?"_

Dib had many questions on his mind at the moment, but the first happened to be about when Zim had learned sarcasm. "Sleep deprivation? Since when do you sleep?"

Zim pointed a clawed finger at his chest. "Exactly! Since  _you_ came along Dib, ever since you came and infected Zim with your idiotic human emotions! Zim is tired all the time, I need to eat more, and I have…  _sensations!"_

Dib slowly stepped away from Zim's doorway. "Okay, um, I don't know what you mean by  _sensations_ , but… how is any of that my fault? Are you sure you're not sick with something? Look, if you're too sick to go to training today, then I can tell Meosori-"

"Irkens don't  _get sick_  you fool! But Zim's… Zim's PAK doesn't do what it's supposed to, so your human germ-feelings must have bypassed my PAK's sensors! Yes… if I fix my PAK, this will all go away… I'll fix my inhibitor, that way this can never happen again!"

Dib eyed him warily, confused as Zim continued to mumble to himself. "Zim, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. But right now, you need to relax. Let's talk about this, okay? I've been trying to talk to you all week, but you just keep blowing me off!"

"Do you really think I want to speak to the person responsible for making me this way?!" he snapped.

Dib roughly pushed past Zim to step into his room, the door quickly sliding closed behind him. "Responsible?! What the fuck Zim, why do you always want to put the blame on other people for your own shit? I've told you this before and I'll tell you again: take some fucking responsibility for once!"

There it was again. That  _feeling_ , that bubbling frustration that left his fists trembling, his bottom lip quivering, his eyes stinging. "I refuse to take responsibility for something that's not my fault! I never felt this way before  _you_  came along, and I didn't… I didn't  _ask_ to be a defective!"

Dib felt his earlier rage dissipating. The tension left his body, leaving him almost limp before the seething alien. "Zim…"

"I didn't  _ask_  you to make yourself essential to me… I didn't ask you to become my friend… I didn't ask you to make Zim second guess himself all the time!  _You_ , Dib, make Zim question everything he's ever known- my status, my purpose, my so-called values. You make Zim look back on  _everything_  he's ever done."

"That's a  _good_  thing, Zim," Dib urged, stepping forward, approaching him slowly. "It's okay to recognize your mistakes. That's a good sign. And you shouldn't have to ask for that. Making friends… that comes naturally."

But Zim merely shook his head. "This isn't natural to me! Don't you understand, Dib? This may be normal for you humans, to meet others and befriend them and… and do that disgusting  _lurve_ thing but… it's not natural for Irkens… not even defectives." He stepped backwards until he was sitting on his bed, hiding his face with one hand. "Do you even realize what you're doing to Zim, by offering him your stupid human kindness? Just go back to hating me, please. Zim can't take this anymore, Dib, just… just  _hate_   _me_  again. Hate me like I hated you."

What could he say to that? How could he respond to Zim basically telling him that his friendship was painful to him? How many years had Zim spent thinking that, being conditioned into believing that emotion was sickness; that developing a connection with another person wasn't natural?  _For just how many years had Zim been alone?_

How long has it been since anyone showed him kindness?

Has  _anyone_  shown him kindness, even though every god in the universe knows he doesn't always deserve it?

Dib had no answer to any of those questions. He couldn't even explain why he always came back to Zim, why he liked him so much. So he did the only thing he could think to do in a moment like this. Given the circumstances, it was probably the  _worst_  possible thing to do, but Dib never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box.

He slowly walked over to the bed, sat down beside Zim, and pulled the Irken into his arms. He felt Zim stiffen, but surprisingly, he didn't lash out, and made no move to attack him or fight against the embrace.

Truth be told, Dib felt a little awkward- he wasn't really good at consoling people who were upset. "It's alright. It's okay that you don't understand- this all new to you. But these feelings aren't a curse Zim. And I didn't infect you- these feelings have been in you all along. I may have helped bring them out- but you've always been capable of feeling these things. I could see it sometimes; in your eyes… you would give me this  _look_ , every time we fought, like you were giving me an out."

"Z-Zim doesn't want to feel anything if this is what emotions are," he murmured, remaining stiff in Dib's arms.

"Don't think like that. You really… don't want that. Feeling something is always better than feeling nothing. I don't want you to feel that same emptiness I felt. All those years ago, when I gave up being a paranormal investigator? I tried to convince myself I was happy, because my dad was finally fucking  _proud_ of me… but the fact is, I wasn't. How could I be, if I wasn't chasing you?"

Zim looked up at him, a small hint of a smirk playing at his lips. "Zim… felt empty too. How could I not, if you weren't chasing me?"

Dib felt a smile of his own threatening to form. Realizing he was still holding onto Zim, he promptly released him, inching away slightly to give him some space. "I'm… sorry about what I said. I didn't realize that you were hurting so much over this."

"...And Zim supposes that he shouldn't have…  _blamed_  the Dib… even though it is partly his fault." Zim heaved a long sigh. "What am I going to do, if I can't fix my PAK? I believe… it is treating my emotions like a sickness, and is doing its best to correct them since the emotional inhibitor isn't working. That is why my body is reacting this way."

Dib abruptly stood up. "Then that's not good! We have to tell Lard Nar- if this gets any worse, it could-"

"It could be dangerous. Zim knows. But what do I do? If I fix my PAK, then there is a chance…" he trailed off, unsure of how to say it.

"…That you'll lose your emotions," Dib finished.

Either way, there was a chance of losing Zim. But he couldn't allow Zim to risk his health- his PAK was crucial to him, he needed it to survive. Zim potentially losing his emotions was a chance they would both have to take. "We'll figure it out Zim, okay? You and me, just like it's always been. We'll talk to Lard Nar-"

"No," Zim interrupted, shaking his head. "Not yet, at least. We're in the middle of preparing for the rebellion. So far it's nothing I can't handle. I just means that I'm a little more… vulnerable. But not weak! Zim is still the most dangerous soldier onboard this ship!"

Dib couldn't help but chuckle. Perhaps Zim hadn't lost  _all_  of his spirit. "Yeah, right. Okay. But if it gets bad… you'll tell me, right? Or at least the captain?"

"Dib-"

"Promise me."

"…I promise."

"Good. Now come on, training started like ten minutes ago."

* * *

" _Ugh,_ those council meetings are so pointless!" Purple shouted with an annoyed huff. "I mean, what do they have to do with anything, really?!"

"It's to keep us in line, to make sure we're not overstepping our boundaries and violating treaty agreements," Red explained, waving a dismissive hand. "Not that the higher-ups really care- but they will, once it's  _their_  planet in trouble."

"Mm…" Purple mumbled in acknowledgment, flopping back onto the couch with a relieved sigh. "I'm bored. Do you wanna go blow up a planet or something?"

Red looked as if he was considering the idea, scratching at his chin, before shaking his head. "…Nah, not after we just got out of a council meeting. They're suspicious of us already."

"Are they? Huh. I didn't get that vibe."

"You don't get  _any_ vibes, ever. You're always too distracted by donuts or blowing things up to notice," Red snapped.

Purple frowned. He sat up from his spot on the couch, making his way to where Red was across the room. He placed a hand on his shoulder to turn him around. "Hey, what's gotten into you? You usually love donuts and blowing things up. Didn't we talk about this? If something was bothering you, you should've brought it up at the council meeting!"

"If I can't even tell  _you_ , how am I supposed to tell a room full of alien leaders?!" Red heaved a long sigh. "Alright,  _fine_ , it's just… you were right, when you mentioned the treaties earlier… I think we should start considering abolishing the rest of them."

"All of them? Would the Control Brains allow that?"

"No idea, but we hold enough power to make that happen." Red diverted his attention away from his co-ruler, turning to face the array of stars moving past the Massive. "The fact is, the treaties are making us weaker. The Irken Empire should stand alone."

"But you said it yourself, there are rebellions popping up all over the place- wouldn't it be better to keep what few treaties we have left?"

"We already have agreements with the council members- they're all we need. We just need to keep them happy, at least long enough to kill the rebellions… and a potential coup."

Purple gasped, eyes growing wide. "A coup?!"

Red nodded. "Yes. It's not that uncommon, it's even happened here a few times. Dangerous rebels come together and try to take down their leaders."

Purple shuddered, as if there were a draft in the room. "That sounds awful! So uh… what should we do in the meantime?"

"In the meantime, we wait," Red answered simply. "We keep prepared at all times, and expect the unexpected."

Purple couldn't help but grin teasingly, sliding a hand down the other Irken leader's arm. "Yes  _commander_ ," he replied suavely. "What's gotten into you lately? This whole "leader, take control" thing is new… although I can't say it's a bad look on you."

The other alien ruler released a shaky breath. "I'm a leader, so I should lead, right? It's not that odd, is it?"

"A bit," Purple admitted, keeping well within his co-worker's personal space. "Never once did I really think we'd actually be doing our jobs, but… here we are."

Red couldn't suppress a chuckle. "It's a good thing. It ensures that we'll be Tallest longer- maybe even for the rest of our lives."

The position of Tallest wasn't always a lifelong job. It was easy for another taller Irken to show up and claim the throne. They could go from having everything, to having nothing. Of course, all previous Tallests (at least, the few that had actually survived), were regarded with the same respect. But it was rare that a Tallest would survive beyond their ruling- at least, Miyuki and Spork didn't. Rogue assassins from other planets often went out of their way to assassinate former Tallests.

Red didn't want that. For himself, for Purple, for this  _planet._ He wanted to be a leader of Irk, and he wanted that until the day he died. He would see to it that that happened.

"The rest of my life, eating donuts and blowing up planets with you- doesn't sound half bad, does it?"

Red mirrored his grin. "No. Not at all." He turned to face the other ruler. "Let's make an agreement, right now. If for some reason, for some crazy, ridiculous reason we ever cease being Tallest, I think… I think we should leave Irk."

Purple's jaw dropped. "Leave?! Why would you ever want to leave?"

He should've figured that Purple wouldn't take too kindly to the idea. "No, I don't  _want_  to leave! Ugh, look, that probably won't even happen- but again, this is  _war_ , ya know… and we uh… have to be prepared… and stuff. And I… I want to know that you're with me to the end."

Purple nodded. "Of course, I have to be. Our agreement sort of prevents us from going against each other. But… could we really do that? Just… leave? I mean, look at what we have here!"

"It's… a last resort option," he explained. "You know, if the Empire is… in trouble, and our lives as well as our positions are in danger… then I don't want to stick around to see this place burn!  _Obviously_  this won't happen, but hypothetically, if it did… would you come with me?"

Purple met his expectant eyes. What could he say, no? 'No, I'd like to stay here where I'm in danger of being captured by the rebels'? Ridiculous. So, naturally, the smartest thing to do would be to follow Red, right?

"…Yes. I'd come with you, I'm not just gonna get caught after all. But… where would we go?" His voice grew in pitch, growing higher with alarm. "If everything falls apart… we won't hold any power. We'd be fugitives! No way, I can't go from being Tallest to being a… a war criminal!"

"Relax!" Red grabbed his wrists to calm him down. "This is just a hypothetical situation, really! I can say with certainty that that won't happen."

"…Then why'd you bring it up?" Purple inquired curiously, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

Red looked away, averting his gaze to the floor. "Just… making sure we have our priorities straight."


	8. Chapter 8

"We're ready to begin with Operation Resist. We can now move into phase one, and once the new recruits have completed training, we can prepare for phase two," Lard Nar declared ceremoniously, as if he were talking to a large crowd. He eagerly slammed his hands onto the table, grinning excitedly. "So Zim, this is where you come in. We need you to tell us where exactly on Irk the Control Brains are located, what their defenses are, their history. Basically, just- any intel you think will be useful."

Zim suddenly felt suffocated by the expectant stares being thrown his way. Piercing eyes all settled on him- it made him rather uncomfortable. He used to love being the center of attention- but not like  _this_. He anxiously fidgeted with the hem of his uniform. "The Control Brains are everywhere- they're computer programs. They're made up of the downloaded minds of some of the greatest Irkens that ever lived. But if you destroy the "home base", so to speak, then they can't spread anywhere else."

"Describe this home base to us," Atra said.

"It's a place called the Control Center, I went there once for my sentence when I was banished to Foodcourtia. I don't know the exact coordinates, but I can lead you there."

Atra nodded, typing almost vigorously into her laptop. "We could probably track down the exact location with this new information. When did the Control Brains take power?"

"Zim is not sure exactly when, I was not alive then. But… some rumors say that the Control Brains have been here since the beginning of our people, and others suggest that the Control Brains took power about seven hundred years ago."

"The latter is probably more likely," Atra concluded. "What about the first Tallest? When did they take power?"

Zim frowned, narrowing his eyes. "Zim  _told_  you, Atra-drone, that he was not alive then! How should I know?"

He froze when he felt a small gloved hand sliding along the base of his PAK. "Your PAK, I imagine, has all of Irk's history downloaded into it. So, either your PAK is so damaged that you've lost that information… or, the more likely story… you're hiding something."

Zim jumped out of his seat, scurrying over to the other side of the table and leaning against it, chest heaving. "W-When did you get here?!"

The curls in Infera's hair-like tentacles bounced playfully as she laughed. "About five minutes ago. So Zim, care to share with the class? We're  _ever_  so curious."

Zim felt the inquiring eyes on him again and cursed under his breath, regaining his composure as he took a breath to steady himself. "First of all,  _never touch Zim again._ Secondly, Zim is not hiding anything. I most likely don't have access to that information because… I was never an elite. Therefore I had no business knowing about why or how the Tallests were our leaders- they just were. The less we knew, the less we were able to question, I suppose."

"And why do you imagine that the elites were trusted with this information?" Atra asked.

"Because they're the Tallers- defectives typically aren't tall. Therefore if they were tall, their loyalty was considered to be unquestionable," Zim explained. "Zim… truly doesn't know who was Tallest at the time."

"It's okay," Lard Nar reassured him. "We need to focus on the present anyhow. So I want you to start from the moment you met the two current Tallests. Tell us everything you know, start to finish."

Zim met Lard Nar's eyes briefly, and through those tinted goggles, he saw a hint of something he couldn't quite define in his eyes. He then looked down at his lap, idly tracing patterns onto his black leggings.

"Very well. We met in the academy, around a hundred years ago…"

* * *

"I was young then, just barely out of smeethood, and I was studying to be a scientist."

* * *

_"Zim, are you going to be there for Tallest Miyuki's entry ceremony?"_

_Zim waved him off. "Not now Skoodge, Zim is busy. I'm finishing up the biostructure for a destructive creature for my final project. The commander will be very impressed with Zim, I just know it! I'll be upgraded to soldier status in no time!" Zim looked up from his tablet, shooting a confused look at Skoodge. "What are you doing for yours?"_

_"Oh, uh… I'm working on a super weapon of sorts… Zim, are you sure you want to miss the ceremony? Everyone's gonna be there, even the commander."_

_"I have no interest. I'd rather plan for when_ I'm _Tallest instead, thanks."_

_Skoodge gasped, magenta eyes widening. "For when you're Tallest?! Z-Zim, no offense but you're shorter than everyone in the academy… even me…"_

_Zim faltered, his cheeks flushing a bright violet. He dropped his tablet pen in his panic, blush worsening as he struggled to come up with an excuse. He knew his current height was abysmal for an Irken his age. "T-That's nonsense! I-I just haven't hit my growth spurt yet, that's all. Ugh, whatever. You can go to the ceremony if you wish, but Zim has other things to worry about."_

_Skoodge nodded shakily. "R-Right, well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. See ya later Zim."_

* * *

_Entry ceremonies for the Tallest were optional, but funerals were mandatory._

_Irkens didn't mourn for their Tallests, rather they saluted their fallen leader and paid their respects. They didn't weep or sob or comfort each other. It was a quiet, somber affair- perhaps there was even a hint of melancholy to it all._

_Zim, oddly enough, found himself with a tight feeling in his chest throughout the proceedings. He couldn't define what the feeling was, but it didn't feel good. He kept trying to will it away but it only seemed to get worse every time. So in order to keep himself occupied, he leaned over and whispered to his classmate- who was, truth be told, his only friend._ _"Skoodge, who do you think will be Tallest next? Zim thinks it'll be one of those two from our class- uh, what were their names again?"_

_"Zim, stop talking!" Skoodge snapped in a hushed whisper. "I can't be seen communicating with you!"_

_"Eh? Why not?!"_

_"Because, you're the reason Tallest Miyuki is… is no more! They think you're a traitor!"_

_"I'm the reason?!" Zim laughed, loud and uncaring, as if the very idea were ridiculous. "Please! You act as if I meant for that creature to attack my Tallest."_

_"They think you did, Zim! They're treating you like a traitor, and if I'm seen associating with you, I'll be viewed as a traitor too!"_

_Traitor? Zim? Ludicrous. Zim was the last possible Irken who could ever be viewed as a traitor. He loved his Empire, he worshiped his Tallest, and he would die before he'd ever commit an act of betrayal against his home planet._ _Well, whatever. If Skoodge didn't want to associate with him anymore, then fine. It's not like he needed him anyway- Irkens needed no one, not even each other._

* * *

_It was likely now that either Red or Purple were next in line. After Spork's untimely demise it was only a matter of time before one of them took power- and they knew it too._ _Still, that didn't throw Zim off- not one bit. Every Irken wanted to be in the Tallest's good graces- and when either Red or Purple took the throne, Zim wanted to be right by their side- maybe even second in command. A prelude to when he himself would eventually take control of Irk._

_"You know Zim," Red commented idly, "when I become Tallest, you're not gonna be able to hang around me like this anymore."_

_Zim dismissively waved a hand, chuckling to himself. "Eh? Nonsense! That's silliness, really! Of course Zim will still be around."_

_"Hold on, when_ you _become Tallest?" Purple inquired incredulously. "I think you mean, when_ I  _become Tallest."_

_Red jumped to his feet, suddenly alarmed. "Huh? No way, you haven't gotten taller than me, have you?"_

_Purple paused, clearly flustered by Red's accusation. "Well… no, but still! It's gonna happen soon, and I'll be crowned as Tallest! But don't worry, I'll still have you as my second in command~" he teased._

_"Hey, I thought_ I _was supposed to be the second in command!"_

_Two pairs of eyes, one set violet and the other crimson, whipped around to glare dangerously at him. "Shut up Zim," their voices snapped simultaneously._

_Zim watched in reluctant silence as the two continued to bicker, and he found himself, for the first time, feeling somewhat out of place. Strange. Never had he felt this way on his own home planet, in front of his own comrades. But in that moment, he realized that he had never felt more alone, and he suddenly wished he was back in the academy classrooms chattering away with Skoodge about nothing._

* * *

"…Zim? Zim! Hey, snap out of it!"

Zim blinked, the present world coming back into view as reality crashed into him again. That's right. He wasn't on Irk anymore. He wasn't on Earth anymore. He was… here, out in the middle of space, with this ragtag, no-good group of soldiers who didn't even have an ounce of meaning to their names.

And he was one of them. By Irk, he was  _one of them_.

"That's very good Zim," Atra noted, smiling brightly. "We now have a more solid understanding of the two current Tallests, thanks to you."

Lard Nar marched over to where Zim was sitting, smirking proudly. He placed a hand on his shoulder and jabbed his index finger into the Irken's chest. "When we capture them, Zim, we want  _you_ to do the interrogation."

"M-Me? You want… Zim to… torture the Tallests?"

"It would not be torture," Atra corrected. "More like… a means to an end. But no, that is not the primary objective. We are not asking you to hurt them, rather we are asking you to obtain information through… whatever means are necessary."

"…Isn't that the same as torture?"

Atra sighed, clearly growing frustrated, as if she genuinely couldn't understand his hangup. "Zim, I understand that they were once your leaders-"

"It's not about that."

"Then what is it about?"

"Really Zim, it shouldn't be a problem for you," Meosori commented idly from across the room. "An Irken torturing some poor lad really isn't that unheard of."

Zim opened his mouth to argue, but Infera cut him off before he could fight back. She slung an arm around Meosori's neck, pulling him into an awkward side hug.  _"Anyway_ , what this big lug here is trying to say Zim, is that we're not asking you to hurt them intentionally."

"We know full well that we're asking too much already," Vythani continued. "But we believe that you are the only one among us that the Tallest will speak to, as another Irken. We are asking not out of choice, but out of necessity."

Zim looked up to meet all their curious eyes- and found that feeling of suffocation returning. How could he even consider agreeing to something like this? How could he possibly let himself do this?

"I-I… Zim  _can't_ …" He abruptly stood up. "I need… time."

Before anyone could stop him, he was gone, dashing out of the room like his life depended on it.

* * *

"I don't understand," Atra began with a huff as she paced back and forth around the room. "We explained the situation to him- why doesn't he see that this is our best course of action?! What more needs to be said? Why must he be so… so…"

"Calm down," Infera placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her and maybe stop her pacing- quite frankly, it was getting annoying, to hear her boots frantically clicking against the floor. "Calm down. I know that… that you may not really get it, but Zim is understandably having a hard time with this. He was loyal to his Tallest for years- it's not easy to just let go of that. This goes against everything he's ever been taught- you can't expect him to just go along with it."

"But he agreed to be a part of the rebellion! So why won't he just…  _rebel-!"_ Atra slammed her fist down against the table, breathing heavily, frustration welling up inside her. "Ugh, why are you even here anyway? Just a couple days ago you hated me!"

Infera, surprisingly, remained silent. No sarcastic comment or witty comeback. She remained stonefaced, unable to deny her accusations or come with a response to her questions.

Atra heaved a long sigh. "Haah… I'm sorry, I lost myself… what… what was that? I've never reacted to something so strongly… what did I-"

"It's called  _emotion-_ from the looks of it, it seems to me like Zim isn't the only one suffering from the effects of it." Infera seated herself in one of the spare chairs. "It's alright to experience emotion, I know that the Meekrob aren't exactly notorious for being the most emotional beings in the universe, but you don't have to be like them, you know. You're kind of a runaway-"

"Not by choice," Atra sharply interrupted. "I didn't want this… to be a traitor, to be a rebel. I didn't want to end up like this..! I just wanted… to bring home another victory for the Meekrob, to free those who have been taken by the Empire. That was what I fought for, for all this time, what my comrades fought for and I… I acted foolishly… and I got them all killed…"

"That's not true!" Infera shouted. "Just relax and tell me what happened. How long have you been hiding this? From the captain… from the others..?"

But Atra didn't even look at her- she didn't make any motion to acknowledge that she had heard her. "…My comrades, and the innocent Irken soldiers who were on my side… I killed them as well… the others… will never come back for me now..!"

"Their blood isn't on your hands. I'm sure you couldn't have known."

She shook her head. "…You don't understand. I'm a Meekrob, I'm supposed to see all foreseeable outcomes, and choose the one that best suits our goals. I ignored it- I ignored the best path and went on my own, and for that, my comrades paid the price."

"Y-You mean…" Infera paused, drawing in a deep shuddery breath, "you have future vision?"

"Not exactly. But it's… something similar, I… I can see potential futures, potential timelines. They're always changing based on the choices that I make, the choices that others make- even the tiniest of things can make the biggest of changes to a timeline," she explained.

"So in other words… you don't see what  _will_  happen… but what  _could_  happen?"

"…Yes, to put it simply."

"Well,  _that's_  really helpful."

"Regardless, it was my foolishness that caused all of this to happen. If I hadn't acted on my own, my comrades would still be alive, and perhaps by now the Meekrob would be one step closer to taking down the Empire. I… only set things back, by going off the right path…"

Infera smiled gently, reaching out to take her gloved hand. "But you went off the path because you thought it was the right thing to do, didn't you?"

"It doesn't matter what I thought was right or wrong!" Atra snapped. "The fact is that people are dead because of me! And if something happened to anyone on this crew because of me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, so… I won't stray from the path again. I'll continue to choose the right paths as they come to me."

"Atra-"

"I'm sorry, but my actions have already caused me to lose people I care about once. I won't allow myself to make the same mistake twice." She sighed. "This is why the Meekrob aren't supposed to have emotion… because if they do, they stray from the paths. Look at where my "emotions" got me… even me talking to you now is dangerous, Infera, because I'm starting to like you, and history will only repeat itself if I pursue more friendships. Again, I'm sorry, but I just… can't…"

Rather than leave the room with a sullen look like she was expecting, Infera roughly grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around so she was facing her. "The fuck kind of quitter talk is that?!"

Atra blinked slowly, eyes as wide as saucers. "I-Infera..?"

"I get it, okay, the whole "close yourself off to avoid getting hurt" thing, but what about the people around you, the people who like you and want to be a part of your life? Are you just gonna shut them down too because  _you're_  afraid of getting hurt?"

"That's not it-"

Infera's eyes narrowed sharply. "The hell it isn't! You're not worried about others getting hurt; you're just scared of being alone again. Well suck it up- cause you don't get to decide whether or not I want to befriend you. And I've decided- Atrana Astralle of the Meekrob Republic- that I want to be your friend. You can't do anything to stop me, either. So take your nonsense and shove it, because like it or not, we're friends now."

Atra blinked slowly, her mouth hanging open slightly, astounded by Infera's speech. "H-How did you know… my full name..?"

"I did a little bit of digging- learned a lot about you, Ms. Astralle."

"But those files were encrypted! How did you-"

"I don't look it, but I'm one of the best hackers on my home planet, me. Fastest typer on this side of the galaxy too." She flexed her fingers, as if showing them off like muscles. "But there's still one thing that boggles my mind."

"And that is..?"

"Why haven't you told Zim and Dib everything yet? I mean, you did save their lives and all, but… you haven't told them anything about the Meekrob, about why you were even hiding out in the Empire in the first place. Don't you think they have a right to know?"

"Of course they do, I just… was afraid… of how they would react if they knew. Especially Zim- seeing as how he's still struggling with his feelings towards the Empire. I don't want to hinder his progress any. It just… never seemed like a good time, I suppose."

Infera nodded. "Mm… hey, I'm thirsty. Wanna go get some tea or something?"

Atra cocked her head to the side, confused. "Tea?"

"Yeah, it's an Earth beverage- I've been drinking a lot of it lately. I'd like- what's the Earth phrase? Oh yeah-  _tea and a chat."_

"S-Sure," Atra replied hesitantly, following Infera out the door. "Tea and a chat. I can do that."

* * *

Weaponry training came and went- and although Dib was no pro by any means, he did know how to hold and fire just about any alien weapon one could think of. Meosori was relentless in his training sessions. One could say what they wanted about him, but no one could ever call him a bad instructor.

Zim had spent the entirety of the last training session bragging about how he earned a perfect score on the final exam- and Dib was determined to match him. But unfortunately, he'd had no such luck. He'd scored a  _point_ below a perfect score. One fucking point- and needless to say, he was  _fuming._ He just hoped Zim wouldn't bother him about it at the moment, because quite frankly, he was still a bit  _peeved_ , to say the least.

They would get one day of reprieve, to relax and collect themselves before combat training began. Dib wasn't worried as much about combat- he'd been fighting Zim all his life, and while he may not know any fancy techniques, he knew how to hold his own in a fight.

_"Although,"_ Dib thought to himself as he looked down at his figure,  _"I could stand to put on some muscle."_

Sure, Dib had grown tall like his father, but he was sorely lacking in the muscle department. His build was lanky and skinny, with just the slightest hint of lean muscle. He might need to build up his physical strength before he could even consider doing training of any kind.

_"Ah, well. It's too late now. I just hope that Vythani guy or whatever knows what he's doing. He really doesn't seem like the fighting type-"_

Dib's train of thought was interrupted when he ended up walking right into someone. Their tablet fell to the ground with a loud clang.

"I'm so sorry," Dib said as he reached down to grab the tablet. "I wasn't looking where I was going-" The words died on his tongue when he looked up and met the stranger's eyes.  _Speak of the devil._

"Hello Dib," he replied smoothly, reaching out to take the tablet from him. "And it's quite alright, no need to worry. I imagine you have a lot on your mind."

Their eyes locked and suddenly Dib felt like he couldn't look away. He had always found Vythani attractive, but this was something different. He found himself completely powerless, enraptured by the alien before him- and that had only ever happened once, with another certain green moronic Irken.

God, maybe Gaz was right- maybe he  _was_  a bit of a xenophile.

"U-Uh, yeah, I do… I guess I'm a little nervous about training tomorrow too…" he admitted, grinning sheepishly.

Vythani placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, smiling warmly. "Don't be. I'll have time to address all of your weaknesses personally, so by the end of these two weeks, I can guarantee you'll be a much better fighter."

He hadn't expected Vythani to be so sure of himself. Dib kind of had to admit that it was refreshing to meet an alien that was confident, but not overly full of himself, like  _another_  certain alien he knew. "Right. Uh, listen, I know I may not have much to offer to the team, since I'm a human and all, but… I'll do my best."

"Nonsense," Vythani insisted with a small frown. "Being human doesn't make you weak. Everyone was brought here for a reason. You will be treated no differently here."

Dib could only hope that that would continue to remain true.

"Anyway, I shouldn't keep you, I'm sure you're looking forward to your day off before training begins again- I'll leave you to it." And with that, Vythani nodded once before making his way down the hallway, Dib staring after him with a dazed expression. He couldn't understand what it was about him that intrigued him so much- it was strange, he didn't feel that way around any of the other people onboard this ship. Well, except… maybe for  _one_   _other_  alien. And even then, it was a different feeling that he wasn't quite sure he could explain, even to himself.

Although, now that he thought about it… how  _was_ he going to spend his day off?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the short chapter, but I have big things planned for (near)future chapters! 
> 
> Also, I'd like to take a moment to say, thank you all so so very much for your kind words!!! Your responses are honestly what keep me writing.
> 
> Enjoy!

Zim didn't sleep. Even now that he was experiencing these… new  _sensations_ , the "sleep" wasn't even really sleep- it was just a resting state. But these "resting states" were getting longer in length. Whereas before they lasted an hour at maximum, his most recent "nap" was about three hours- and he was  _still_  exhausted. Something would have to be done about this soon. If this was going to make him vulnerable in battle, then it would have to be addressed before they started their attack couldn't afford to be tired and groggy in the heat of battle. After all, he knew better than anyone that an Irken can easily spot their opponents weaknesses.

The old Zim wouldn't have hesitated to address any and all errors, anything that could cause an issue in his plans. But now, for the first time in his life, he feared the consequences of his actions. The only way to fix his "issue" would be to fix the emotional inhibitor. That shouldn't be a problem, except…

Now that he had established an…  _acquaintanceship_ with the Dib, he was hesitant about fixing the problem. He knew that if his PAK were repaired, he would certainly lose any and all positive feelings he may hold towards Dib- it was how they were designed. They were to suppress any emotions that could get in the way of following the mission. Frankly, he wished he could just go and get it over with now. Emotions, as he had come to find out, were proving to be more of a curse than a gift. They didn't go any good to him when he was serving the Tallest, and they certainly aren't doing him any good now. In fact, they only seemed to be making things worse.

A knock on the door brought Zim out of his thoughts. He briefly considered asking Gir to get it, but the little robot was currently sound asleep, curled up on the edge of the bed, snoozing away absentmindedly. He sighed and reluctantly trudged over to hit the button to open the door. And of course, standing across from him was the one thing that seemed to be on his mind all the time as of late.

"Zim," Dib greeted, smiling awkwardly, "are you uh… doing anything today? It's our day off you know."

Zim, however, wasn't buying Dib's sudden show of kindness. He narrowed his tired eyes suspiciously. "What does it matter?"

Dib shrugged. "Well… today's the only day off we're gonna get for a while, and… I don't really have anything better to do, so… can I hang around with you?"

What Zim found the most strange was that he almost felt elated at the idea of spending the day with the Dib-beast- which seemed to be happening more and more as of late. Still, his pride wouldn't allow him to express that elation. Dib couldn't know that Zim was starting to respond to his presence in a positive manner. "No. Zim has important work to do. I'm trying to..." he trailed off as he struggled to come up with an excuse, "...do repairs on Gir. His voice box seems to be malfunctioning. Now go find someone else to play with."

But of course, as he should've figured, Dib wouldn't just  _go_   _away_. "Come on Zim, I'm serious! This is probably the only break we're going to get for a long time, so…" he paused, trying to find the right way to word his thoughts. He then cleared his throat, abruptly standing at attention. "Someone has to keep an eye on you, anyway. To make sure you don't go off and do something you shouldn't."

Zim eyed him warily before making a noise akin to a snort. "Who are you, my babysitter?"

He smirked, shrugging absentmindedly again. "If the shoe fits."

Zim deadpanned before heaving a long, heavy sigh and sidestepping to allow Dib entrance. "Well then, Dib, what do  _you_  suggest we do while stuck on this miserable ship?"

Truth be told, Dib hadn't really thought about that part. Come to think of it, there really wasn't much to do on this ship. It wasn't exactly built for recreation, after all- it was a place where soldiers could eat and sleep and train for an extended period of time before going back out onto the battlefield.

Then, a wild thought came to Dib- a crazy, mad thought that he may or may not end up regretting.

"Zim, let's spar."

Zim stared at him blankly, blinking slowly, before throwing his head back, erupting with loud, boisterous laughter. "Y-You w-want… to  _fight Zim?_ Are you feeling alright Dib?" His entire body shook as he laughed, and if Dib weren't so insulted he would be laughing himself over how ridiculous Zim looked at the moment.

"Yes, Zim, I'm feeling fine. And I'm serious. I'm pretty confident that I can take you; I mean, look at you. You're like, maybe 5 feet tall and you barely weigh half my weight. A stiff wind could get the best of you."

Zim's cheeks flushed at the remark. "Shut it Dib! You sincerely underestimate the strength of an Irken!"

Dib grinned. "Really?  _I'm_  underestimating  _you?_ I think it's the other way around."

_That_ was the last straw for Zim, all he needed to push him over the edge. "Fine! If you're so confident then I accept your challenge! But know that just because we have an… ahem,  _acquaintanceship_ , that doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on you! Zim will show you no mercy, understood?!"

"Yes sir~" Dib teased. "Come on, I think the training room is open for today."

* * *

Thankfully there wasn't anyone else there- meaning that they had the room to themselves. Dib was somewhat grateful for that- it meant that he had more room to move around to dodge an attack. Not to mention that for some reason, he felt it would be awkward, doing this for seemingly no reason in front of a bunch of strangers.

"Okay, so before we start, we should set some ground rules," Dib said.

"Ground rules?" Zim scoffed. "Please. As if I-"

_"Zim."_

"… _Fiiiiiiine_. What are your smelly 'rules'?"

Dib held up his index finger as he explained, his other hand placed on his hip as if trying to act like an instructor would. "First, this is going to be a fair fight. So no using your PAK legs or any sort of weapons you may be hiding."

A brief look of disappointment flashed across his face before his usual confident smirk settled in and replaced it. "So? Zim doesn't need his PAK to defeat the pathetic Dib-worm."

"I mean it Zim, if you use your PAK even once, I automatically win. Got it?"

Zim waved him off. Frankly, Dib's lack of faith in him was rather insulting. "Yes yes, I get it, now let's get on with your destruction, shall we?"

"That's the other thing, Zim. No beating each other within an inch of our lives this time. If one of us gives the signal, that means the other has to stop."

"But-"

Dib held up a hand. "No buts. Neither of us can afford to be seriously injured right before a battle. So if one of us taps out, the other wins. So promise me you'll listen."

"But-"

_"Promise."_

Zim grumbled something under his breath before huffing and muttering a reluctant "I promise."

But then again, Dib was no fool, and he was fully prepared for when Zim would ultimately decide that he was done humoring Dib and was ready to play his own game.

He and Zim both assumed their positions across from each other, Zim appearing positively  _deadly_ with his zipper-toothed grin. Dib fought off the slight nervousness he was feeling- sure, he'd had some intense battles with Zim, but he was a kid then. He liked to think that now the playing field was a little more level, and Zim would have a harder time taking him down now that he was, well,  _older_.

Zim feigned a bored yawn. "Are you ready yet, Dib-smell? Zim doesn't have all day."

"Ready when you are, space boy. Your move."

Zim met his eyes, and if Dib stared hard enough he could almost see his own reflection. But then Zim was moving, charging at him with incredible speed, his tiny hands forming into small but no doubt powerful fists. Dib just barely managed to dodge in time, jerking awkwardly to the left to avoid having the wind knocked out of him.

Zim stumbled forward, hissing dangerously as if he were an angry cat. He locked eyes with Dib and charged forward once more, and Dib repeated the same dodging motion. This continued for a few moments, with Zim charging forward and attempting to hit him wherever he could reach, and Dib jerking and jumping, barely missing Zim's attacks.

"Urrrraaaaghhh! Are you going to keep doing that all day?! Fight back already, you horrible Dib-beast!"

Why was he hesitating? He'd always wanted the opportunity to punch Zim in his stupid idiotic green face. Now he had his chance! With a newfound strength, Dib charged forward at the same time as Zim, and before the Irken could reach up to block, Dib's fist had already connected with his jaw, sending the Irken stumbling backwards-  _right_  onto his ass.

After noticing that Zim wasn't getting up after the blow, Dib slowly walked over towards him to inspect the damage. "Zim? Hey, what's the matter with you?"

Zim didn't answer, curling himself into a small ball. A series of whimpers and violent shakes overtook his small form. Dib felt panic rising as he heard Zim's soft cries-  _God_ , he hadn't actually hurt the Irken, had he? It was just a punch- but then again, he  _did_  punch him pretty hard…

"Zim?" Dib bent down so he was eye to eye with him, attempting to pry his arms from his face. "Come on, it can't be that bad, let me see." He wasn't met with much resistance, so after he successfully managed to pry Zim's arms off his face, he noticed that there was a rather large, dark green bruise forming on Zim's cheek. His eyes were tightly closed shut, a hint of tears leaking from the corners. Years ago he would've been thrilled to see the Irken in pain. Now it brought him only a terrible tightness in his chest- and an overwhelming sense of shame.

"Zim? Oh God, Zim, please don't cry again, I hate seeing you cry, cause then you make me cry and then things get… weird. Uh, I really didn't think I hit you that hard.  _Shit_ , uh… what do I do…"

As Dib continued to have a small crisis over what to do in this scenario, he failed to notice Zim's dangerous grin. It was barely a second later before Zim lunged forward, tackling Dib to the ground. Once he was down, Zim grabbed his wrists, pinning them above his head. Dib struggled underneath Zim's weight- he wasn't  _that_  heavy, but with his arms pinned down, he didn't have the strength to get Zim off of him.

"Y-You asshole!" Dib sputtered. "You were faking it! I should've known-"

"Of  _course_  I was faking it, Dib-fool! Did you really think the almighty Zim would go down with one punch?!" He laughed again, and it was that stupid cocky laugh that Dib had always hated hearing as a kid.

"Well what was I supposed to think?! You were crying, I thought I seriously hurt you!" Dib retorted, attempting to cover up his foolish blunder. If Zim weren't on top of him right now he'd be kicking himself. How could he have not realized?

"And  _that_ , Dib, is the first rule of combat." He leaned down close so he was face to face with Dib.  _"Never_ let your opponent get the upper hand." He roughly grabbed Dib's chin with his free hand. "You see, this was your first mistake- allowing your emotions into battle. On the battlefield, emotions mean nothing- you will  _never_  succeed if you're scared to hurt someone."

Dib had no rebuttal to that. Zim was right. If he couldn't learn to control his emotions, then he wouldn't last ten seconds in a real fight with anyone, let alone an Irken.

"No other Irken is going to be as merciful as I am. An Irken on the battlefield is fierce, destructive, and virtually unstoppable. If you hesitate to strike first, then  _they_  will- and chances are, you won't survive after the first blow." He forcefully released his chin, and drew ever closer to Dib's face. "Do you understand now, Dib? I have you completely at my mercy, and if I were any other Irken, I would destroy you on the spot. Do you realize how glad you should be right now? Do you now realize how  _foolish_ all of this is?"

For a few moments, all Dib could hear was Zim's egotistical rambling, but when Zim released his chin, his words started coming in clearer. He understood now. Zim was trying, in his own strange way, to teach him.

"...I get it, Zim. I get it."

Zim didn't respond with words, but he didn't have to. Dib could see the affirmation in his eyes. Perhaps Zim was right, maybe he wasn't, but the fact was that he couldn't just...  _ignore_  his emotions, at least, not when he was with Zim. What was it about Zim that made him so passionate?

"So, Dib, do you submit? Or do I need to subject you to a bit of torture before you'll acknowledge my superiority?"

"Never," Dib shook his head. The answer came out instantaneously, like an automatic response. "I'm not gonna give into you… ever…"

When had the air between them changed? It was as if a switch had been flipped, and all the sudden the atmosphere was charged with electricity. Dib's heart was pounding against his ribcage as he awaited Zim's next move. What was he going to do? Right now the alien was nearly frozen, his face still so dangerously close to Dib's. But his eyes held that same look, the look that was surely in his own as well. When had he gotten so good at reading him?

"You should," Zim warned, though his tone held no real malice, "or maybe Zim will decide to decorate that pathetic human skin of yours by carving his name into your flesh…" His hands suddenly trailed down Dib's arms before reaching his torso. "Over and over… I'll mark you so everyone here knows you belong to me."

"...Scary," Dib quipped. Truth be told, a small part of him was actually concerned over what Zim's next move would be. Would he really try that? "Now, can you maybe get off me..? If you keep moving like that things might get… awkward. More awkward than they already are."

"Awkward? How? As if Zim would ever listen to you!" As a show of defiance, Zim seated himself further upwards on his lap, shifting to make himself comfortable. Dib bit his lip, hoping that he could keep himself contained long enough to get Zim off of him.

"Zim, I mean it, if you don't get off me, I'm going to push you off myself."

"Nonsense! Zim will get up when he pleases!"

"Okay, but you asked for it."

With his now free hands, Dib reached up and grabbed Zim's hips as if to steady him. Zim immediately began squirming in response. "Get your filthy hands off me stink-beast!"

Dib didn't answer him, and with all the strength he could muster, he used both hands to push Zim to the left and onto the floor beneath them. Once he successfully got him onto the floor, Dib repeated Zim's earlier actions and pinned his wrists above his head, and since Zim was so much smaller, it was easy for him to pin both wrists with one hand.

"And  _that_ , Zim, is the first rule of combat. Never let your opponent get the upper hand."

Zim squirmed restlessly beneath Dib's hold. "Foolish Dib-monkey! If you think this will make me submit then you've got another-"

"You win."

"Eh?"

Dib lightly tapped the floor with his free hand. "See? There's the signal. You win this round."

"B-But… I don't understand… you had Zim pinned… if you had kept this position…"

"Then we would've been here for hours," Dib said, "because you're so stubborn. So you win this round."

"B-But… what about our fight? You owe Zim a fair fight! You can't just let me win!"

He released Zim's wrists before rising to his feet, stepping away from Zim to free him completely. "We had our fight Zim, and you were right. You're a good fighter." He suddenly smirked. "But I still know how to kick your ass. You're as predictable as ever right now, Zim. I just proved that. That's a sweet enough victory for me."

Zim did the same thing, standing up and readjusting his disgruntled uniform. "N-No you didn't! So you pinned Zim down once, big deal! You owe Zim a proper battle! Now get over here and face me!"

"I don't owe you anything. I don't want to fight with you anymore today, we're done."

"B-But-"

"Come on, let's go see if the cafeteria is still open for lunch."

For the first time in a while, Zim found himself silenced, unable to protest any longer. With a grumble under his breath, he reluctantly followed Dib out of the training room and to the cafeteria.

* * *

"Everything alright, Ms. Astralle?"

Atra blinked as her surroundings started to come into focus. Had she been zoning out again? "Captain," she said smoothly, as though she had been aware the whole time. She rose from her chair and politely saluted him. "What can I do for you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that the salute isn't necessary?"

She laughed slightly. "Sorry, force of habit. So, did you need something?"

Lard Nar shook his head. "No, actually, at least… not right now. I just noticed that lately you seem… distracted, unfocused. That's not like you. Did something happen that I should be aware of?"

Atra thought back to her conversations with Infera. She had revealed a lot of things, things that she had thought she would always keep to herself. Feelings, people, places… they were all so new… and as of late, she felt much more sensitive to these things.

But there was still something missing, something she wasn't quite grasping yet. But what was it..?

"No, nothing, just… I've been thinking about the past a bit, that's all."

"That's all?" He let out a loud laugh. "Well you shouldn't be doing  _that_ , the past is the past! It's over now, gone, poof. The end. What you  _should_  be looking at is the future!"

Atra frowned. "Captain, you know how I feel about using my future vision… besides, nothing is set in stone and there's no way to tell for certain-"

"Tell me what you think, then," he prompted. "Tell me your best guess, based off of the path we're going now. Are we… are we going to win this war?"

She didn't like using her future vision, at least, not since her failed mission. She strongly advised against it, especially considering how quickly and rapidly the paths changed. So many possible outcomes, all depending on possible choices she or the captain could make.

"I can't say for certain, but… I see a few futures in which we all survive, and the Empire falls. But… the probability of any of those futures coming to fruition… is very low."

"I see… can you tell me… the likeliest outcome?"

"You… won't like it…" she warned.

He hesitated for a moment, as if he was considering retracting his request, before finally nodding his head. "...Tell me anyway. I need to be prepared for anything."

She sighed, lowering her head, murmuring gently, as if she were hoping he wouldn't hear her. "The Control Brains fall, the Tallest's escape, and the Resisty is broken up and spread all over the galaxy."

Tense silence filled the room for a few moments before finally Lard Nar heaved a long sigh. "I can work with that. Thank you. That will be all."

"Captain-"

"Yes?"

"You… do you have faith that we can win?"

The question caught both her and Lard Nar off guard. The Atra he knew would've never asked such a question. What had changed?

He smiled. "What an odd question, coming from you. I'm the captain, you see! I have to have enough faith for everyone here. If I look like I'm confident and ready, the others will naturally follow suit! Although… truth be told… after my last encounter with the Massive… why, I'm downright terrified to be taking on the Empire again." He paused abruptly to clear his throat. "But I feel… a bit better this time. I have a competent crew, a clear goal, and a solid plan to set in motion. So really… it's not just you putting your faith in me, Miss Astralle… it's  _me_  putting  _my_  faith in  _you_ , and everyone else onboard this ship." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I trust you. I trust everyone onboard this ship, unconditionally. But Atra, tell me… right now… do you trust yourself? You seem so hesitant."

She couldn't answer him. She had no idea how to go about it- did she trust herself? She wasn't sure anymore. She wasn't even sure if she knew who "Atra" was anymore. "Atra" wasn't even her real name. Atrana Astralle was a false identity she created for herself in an attempt to start over after her failures got people she dared to care about killed. Who was she, then? Where did she belong? On this ship, with these rebels who had been nothing but kind to her? Or… did she belong back home, with her own kind?

"…I don't think I do, captain," she finally said. "I don't think I do."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a bit of an announcement, i recently changed my tumblr url to invxder-hxils, so if you want to see my art or get chapter updates, wHY NOT FOLLOW 
> 
> also just so you guys know i will be making character refs for Atra, Fruo, Dei, Vythani, Meosori, and Infera, which will also be on my tumblr! 
> 
> (alright, shameless self promotion is over now, enjoy the chapter!)

Vythani kind of reminded Dib of an old soul- he was calm with his words, his demeanor, everything about him was reserved and relaxed. He looked as though he had complete control over himself at all times. Dib yearned for that kind of confidence. He only wondered if anything ever troubled him enough to ruffle his feathers a bit, make him question himself.

"There's no one way to teach someone how to fight," he said, his voice rich and smooth. "There's all kinds of fighting styles from all around the universe. We'd be here for years if I tried to teach you every single one. In my opinion, there's no right or wrong way to fight. However, as we all know, an Irken is going to fight like an Irken- with practice, swiftness, and intent to kill." His eyes seemed to lock with Zim's from across the room, but he paid no mind to it, as per usual. Zim wasn't the observant type- not unless he had to be.

"Likewise, a Vortian is going to fight like a Vortian, and a human will fight like a human. Therefore, it's my job to teach you how to take down an Irken using your own respective and unique styles. In order to do this, I first need to assess your skills, your strengths and weaknesses."

Zim abruptly stood up from his seat, stretching. "Then it seems that Zim has no business here. I already know every possible trick an Irken can throw at me."

Dib couldn't help but smile a bit thinking of the reaction Meosori would've had to Zim trying to walk out on his class. But Vythani merely smiled, taking it all in stride. "Not so fast, Zim. You may be an Irken, and you may know how most of them fight, but as an Irken yourself, then surely you know that most of them play dirty. Besides, you've never had to fight one of your own kind before. So whether you like it or not, Zim, you're on the same playing field as everyone else."

Dib was surprised that the little green menace didn't push the issue further. He merely grumbled something under his breath and sat back down, now embarrassed for having made a fool of himself in front of everyone.

"Here's how things are going to work: for the first week I'll see each of you individually every day and we'll work on your problem areas directly. For the second week, I'll pair you up with a sparring partner that I think suits you best and I'll have you practice what you've learned on each other. Remember that this course is only two weeks long, so it's going to be rather intense. Please be prepared."

Vythani's class operated much like Meosori's, minus the drill sergeant-like screaming. He allowed students to come and go intermittently throughout the day as long as they showed up when they were supposed to. Dib was assigned to go see him at 05:00 hours. Thank  _God_  there were clocks on this ship.

* * *

"This whole 'night and day' simulator confuses the hell out of me," Dib said, taking a large bite out of his sandwich- the first semi-normal thing he's had to eat since he joined the Resisty.

"You mean you've never had a night and day simulator? What kind of ships have you been living on?" Fruo asked incredulously, as if it were the simplest thing in the universe.

"I'm from  _Earth,_ remember? Our exploration of space has been… limited." Every time Dib looked around and noticed all of the fancy technology aboard the ship, he was reminded of how far behind humanity really was. What was holding humankind back from… from all of  _this_?

"I see. I'm sorry you've had to live that way all this time. Must've sucked, not being able to go out and see the stars whenever you want." A smirk crossed Fruo's pale pink lips. "I remember the first time I ever saw space. It was  _crazy_. I was out exploring space for… well, I don't think I've ever stopped, really." He turned to look at his Vortian companion, who seemed to be content just listening. "What about you, Dei? When did you first go out into space?"

"Oh, uh… actually, this is my first time too," she admitted shyly, looking down to avoid Dib and Fruo's curious stares. "Vort was invaded by the Empire not too long ago, and I never got to go out before the invasion started…"

Fruo's expression darkened suddenly. He abruptly dropped the sandwich he was holding onto his tray, sighing loudly. "They're fucking maniacs" he muttered darkly, "All of them. You know… once the universe is rid of the stench of the Irken Empire… I'll take you out to see the galaxy for  _real,_ Dei."

Dei's eyes widened- they were a blue-ish color- odd for a Vortian. She seemed rather pleased with his offer, smiling brightly at the invitation. "O-Of course! I'd love to go with you!"

"Good, then it's a date." He winked at her before returning his attention to Dib. "So, what about you? Why are you here?"

Dib swallowed the last bite of his sandwich as he contemplated on, yet again, how to answer this question. On the one hand he could tell the truth, to clear his name and give some back-story about himself, but on the other hand, telling the truth could get Zim in trouble. He wasn't very well-liked on this ship- it couldn't be helped, seeing as how he was the same race as the enemy.

"Atra told me that the Empire had plans to expand," he began, "and she was expressing concerns that, although it was a smaller chance, Earth could be a potential target. It had a lot of resources that, if utilized properly, could be useful for Irkens, such as our sugar supply, or our salt. I was worried. And I knew that no one else on Earth was going to step up to defend it, at least, not if I was the only one who knew about it, so… I decided to help. Besides, even if they never come for Earth, it won't be a waste… because I'm helping to save other planets too."

His two companions stared back at him, eyes wide as a tense silence loomed over their table. Dib swallowed the final bite of his sandwich, looking away awkwardly, fearing that he had, yet again, said something wrong.

"...Wow. How heartfelt," Fruo teased, breaking the silence. "I think I'm starting to like you Dib. You seem… honest. And that's… refreshing."

Dib stifled a laugh. "Uh… thanks, I guess?"

"Hey, didn't you come with that one Irken, the defective?" Dei asked.

The question was innocent enough but Dib couldn't help being a bit annoyed at the term 'defective'. It was starting to become overused. "Yeah, his name is Zim. Come to think of it, where is he..?" His eyes scanned the cafeteria, but there was no sign of the little Irken anywhere. "Huh. Guess he's at training or something," he said with a shrug.

"What's he like?" she asked. "I know he's a defective, so he's different, but… is he like other Irkens?"

"Zim is…" he trailed off, and for the first time in a long time, he didn't have an answer for that. Not too long ago he would've said something along the lines of 'Zim is a moronic green alien from outer space that I hate a lot', but now things weren't quite as simple. The lines had been blurred yet again, though Dib feared that it wasn't the lines between enemy and friend that had been blurred this time around.

"Zim is… a lot of things. He's… loud. Obnoxious. He never listens. He doesn't know when to shut up and can't take orders very well. He's… probably one of the worst people ever, but… I'd be lying if I said… he wasn't my best friend. My only friend, really."

Dei shook her head, a bubbly smile crossing her lips. "That's not true anymore. You have us now."

Fruo nodded his agreement, taking a large bite out of his sandwich. "Damn straight," he said through a large mouthful. "I'll have your back if you'll have mine."

Friendship, camaraderie… was this what it was like to be on a team? As a kid Dib had always been the last one picked, any friendships he had growing up were quick and fleeting. It made him wonder why he tried so hard for people who didn't even know he existed. Right now, millions of miles away, the people of Earth were living blissful lives, completely unaware of the war and destruction going on in their universe. Dib was the only human being who knew about Irkens, who knew about Vortians, who knew all these different things about space and planets and  _ships_ -

And maybe, just maybe, if he was lucky, he would live to tell about it.

* * *

"Alright Zim," Vythani started, "I want you to come at me with everything you have. Don't hold back. Feel free to use your PAK legs if you'd like."

Zim's eyes widened as a smug grin crept across his face. "Oh, are you sure you could handle that? Something tells me that, although you don't look it, you're getting quite old."

Vythani mirrored his grin. "My people live for a very long time, believe me. How about you? You're getting close to 200 aren't you?"

Zim snorted, folding his arms across his chest. "Shut up. 200 is a perfectly healthy age." He positioned himself across from Vythani, his grin growing almost malicious. "Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be. Come on, give me your best shot."

Without anymore hesitation, Zim charged forward, rearing his fist back. Despite his larger size, Vythani was quick, and managed to swiftly dodge Zim's advance.

Zim nearly stumbled forward and onto the floor, but managed to gain his bearings just in time to dodge Vythani's low kick. He grabbed his ankle, and with a surprising display of strength, tossed Vythani onto the floor. He hit the ground with a loud thud, the sound echoing throughout the large room.

Zim puffed out his chest, smirking victoriously. He stomped his foot on Vythani's chest, as if he were crushing a bug beneath his boot. "Victory for Zim! That was way too easy- you really should've asked me to have mercy on you."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Ye- GAHHH!"

Vythani grabbed the foot that was pressing down onto his chest and sent Zim flying across the room. Before he could hit the wall, Zim managed to deploy his PAK legs just in time and skid to a stop. The sound of the metal skidding across the walls and the floor made his antennae ring painfully. Zim resumed his earlier position, his eyes narrowed fiercely at his target. "Oh,  _now_  you've done it!" His PAK legs launched him forward, sending him flying at an impressive speed towards Vythani. With the extra limbs keeping him balanced, Zim was able to fight face to face with the ex-soldier.

Without so much as a word, Vythani managed to effortlessly block all of Zim's blows. Where Zim was fast, Vythani was faster, and it seemed to be taking less of a toll on him physically than it was on Zim.

Vythani glared sharply at the Irken before delivering a final hit to his midsection. His PAK legs slid and stumbled as he let out a silent scream, before finally falling to the ground in a heap, clutching his torso.

Vythani stood over Zim victoriously, his face impassive. "Your first lesson, Zim: don't  _ever_  get too cocky."

"C-Curse you…" Zim sputtered, not even bothering to open his eyes to look at his instructor.

But said instructor merely smiled, the ferocity from earlier dissipating, and offered a hand. "Here, let me help you up."

Zim cracked an eye open at half mast before batting the extended hand away. "Z-Zim is fine. I-I don't n-need your help…"

Vythani watched with curious eyes as Zim slowly staggered to his feet, still clutching his midsection. "Alright Zim, seeing as how you managed to get me on the ground in less than a minute, you're a very skilled fighter. You're much stronger than you look, and you have a knack for using your opponent's size against them. However, your attacks are very forceful, and you seem to use brute strength more than anything. You're going to be taking on other Irkens, so you need to fight in ways that they've never seen before, otherwise they'll pinpoint your weaknesses and take you down without breaking a sweat."

"What do  _you_  know?!" Zim abruptly snapped. "I know my own people better than anyone… this is all pointless! What else does Zim have to learn?! Why is it that ever since I've got here all I've done is train?! Are you aware that Zim had  _years_  and  _years_  of training back on Irk?! I don't need this!" He looked away, fists clenching tightly at his sides. "I knew it… this was a mistake… I never should've come here. I bet your beloved 'captain' doesn't even have a plan, does he? No plan to take down the Empire, no plan to free all the other defective Irkens! This is still the same rag-tag group of rebels that it was all those years ago! Nothing's changed! You're all useless! And I… I'm still… I too am just as useless as I've ever been…" He sank to his knees, defeated, burying his head in his hands. "Nothing's changed…  _nothing's changed…"_

"…I don't think that's true," Vythani said after a moment of silence. He sat down across from Zim, sitting pretzel style. "I think you've changed."

"…Impossible. I can't… I can't change… we're not  _supposed_ to change."

"You're not  _supposed_  to, but you did. Don't you think that makes you one of us? A 'rebel', if you will?"

"I could  _never_  be anything like you."

"Why not?"

Zim paused, as if debating on how to answer. "Because… you all… you  _save_  people, or at least, that's your goal. Irkens aren't built to save. We're built to  _destroy. Invade. Conquer._ Defective or not… that doesn't change. Don't you get it?"

Vythani nodded without hesitation. "Yes, I do. I know how it feels… to be built for one thing, but to want to do something else. And I believe… that even the most corrupt of people… can change."

Zim laughed dryly. "What a stupid belief."

"Perhaps it's a bit naïve," Vythani admitted with a shy chuckle, "but it's a nice thing to hold onto, you know? In such a vast, mysterious universe… you have to believe in something."

"…What do you believe then? Do you believe in this pathetic group?"

"Yes. I have faith in them, not only because I have to, but because I see potential. Rebellion is a powerful thing. With so many passionate hearts, combining their strength… there's no way we can lose."

Zim ducked his head yet again, the bitter smile not having left his lips. "…Ha. How optimistic."

Vythani abruptly rose to his feet once more. "Change is possible, you know. You've changed significantly. You went from an invader hell-bent on conquering a planet to a total rebel. I'd say that's a pretty drastic change." He offered a hand once more. "You're one of us now."

Zim stared up at him, crimson eyes wide and unblinking. Vythani was practically glowing, his kind smile and bright eyes illuminated by the bright lights of the training room. As if he were under a trance, Zim tentatively reached out and grabbed his hand, allowing him to pull him to his feet.

"Come back at this time tomorrow, and we'll work on your problem areas directly, okay?"

Zim just continued to stare as if he were in awe. How could he just say that so casually, as if their previous conversation had never happened?

"R-Right…"

* * *

Dib sighed, flopping back onto his bed. Thankfully his first training session was still a couple hours away, so he had some time to kill. He tried not to think too much, as he worried that thinking about the reality of the situation would make him go mad. But he couldn't pretend to turn a blind eye forever- this was his reality now. He was in space. Millions and millions of miles away from home.

Home. According to the ship it had only been almost a month since he'd left, but  _God_ , it felt much longer than that. Maybe it had been.

_God,_ he missed Earth. He missed his room, he missed his car, he missed blue skies and green grass. He missed the feeling of a natural ground beneath his feet. He missed pancakes, milkshakes, cheese fries-

_Stop it._ If he kept that up he'd be starving again, and he'd only had lunch an hour ago.

Hell, he missed  _Gaz_. He missed his father. He missed their occasional nights out together. Recently his dad had been making more time for them, and of course, he had chosen  _then_  to leave. Right when his father finally decided to start parenting again,  _he_  had decided to go out into outer space to fight aliens. He wondered if his father would ever forgive him for this, for leaving out of the blue to go into space.

_Maybe I could-_

A knock on the door brought him out of his reverie. He jumped to his feet and hurried over to the door to open it. "Atra?"

She waved shyly. "Hello Dib, I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but… there's something I need to talk to you about. May I come in?"

Dib nodded and sidestepped to allow her entry, the door closing behind her. Atra wasn't the kind of person to come uninvited, especially not for a talk. She wasn't the type for socializing or friendly visits- perhaps that explained why she was never at the lunch periods anymore.

"So what's up?"

Atra fiddled with the hem of her coat. She seemed...  _scared_ , hesitant. The impassive, stone-faced Meekrob soldier he had come to know looked downright terrified just to be in his room. "..Why did you lie about it, Dib?" she finally blurted.

Dib froze, a cold sweat breaking out across his forehead. "W-What?"

"Please don't act innocent. I know you know what I mean." She stepped closer to him, her eyes narrowing. "The  _chip_. Why did you lie about the chip?"

Dib swallowed thickly, his heart pounding against his ribcage. "H-How did you find out about that? I haven't even told anyone yet."

"Meekrobs have the ability to see possible future paths if we so choose," she explained, her tone cross. "It's not something I like to do, but Lard Nar asked me to take a look. And… in all of those paths, I noticed that one thing was the same: the chip had not been destroyed."

Dib shot a brief look over at the silver box on his nightstand. "...And how did you know that it was me that kept it?"

"In some of the paths,  _you_  proposed the chip as a means of taking down the Empire. And while I don't know for sure if that's really your intention, I'm here to tell you that the chip is no good. It's better off destroyed- why did you keep that destructive thing?"

"Because I thought it would be useful for the future," Dib replied casually. "Don't you get it? The chip… it's not a bad idea at all, it was just bad timing. I thought it would've been a waste to get rid of it, so I thought I'd keep it. In case we needed it for-"

"We won't need it!" Atra interrupted with a shout. "That… that  _thing_  is what got my comrades killed. If it hadn't been for the chip then some of them would still be…" She tightly shut her eyes, as if recalling a bad memory. "I won't make the same mistake twice. I will not endanger the lives of anyone on-board this ship."

Dib stepped forward, placing his hands on her shoulders to calm her. "Atra, listen to me. This chip… with a little bit of tweaking, we can turn it into a real weapon. With the right plan, we can take down the Empire with this!"

Atra looked as if she was considering Dib's words before she shook her head in denial. "...Forget the chip, we already have a new plan!"

"Do you?" Dib challenged. "Because so far, all I'm seeing is a bunch of empty promises. All we do is wake up, train, eat, and go to sleep. That's it. When are we actually going to  _do_ something? The more time we waste here, the more people we lose to the Irken Empire. So let's  _stop_ wasting time, and let's  _start_  saving lives!"

"I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation,  _Dib_ ," Atra mumbled lowly. "You are an untrained human that wants to take on  _millions_  of Irken soldiers."

"...I've taken on the Empire once before. I can do it again."

But Atra shook her head yet again, unfazed by Dib's confidence. "That was pure luck. The point is, we're training you for a reason. Do you know how irresponsible it would be to throw you out onto the battlefield without any sort of prior training?! The training you're receiving now is hardly enough, but… we're pressed for time, and it's the best we can do. And  _now_  you're telling me you're ready to take down the Control Brains?!"

"Look, I get it, okay? And I appreciate all you're doing to make sure we're ready. And I'm not saying we have to go in guns blazing- I'm just saying that we have a pretty good weapon right here- and you want to waste this opportunity because you're  _afraid_."

Atra's eyes snapped open wide, her mouth hanging open slightly, before she abruptly shut it, her eyes glaring daggers at Dib. She batted his hands away from her shoulders, freeing herself from his gentle grip. "You have no right to lecture me about fear- you can't even tell Zim the truth!"

Immediately a wave of heat splayed across Dib's cheeks. "Wh-What do you mean..?"

"I saw. When I looked at the future paths… your feelings towards Zim. I don't understand the concept of romance, but I understand enough to know that hiding your feelings will only cause you both agony in the end. Did you think about him? How do you think he will feel once he learns that you hid the truth about the chip because you didn't trust him?"

Dib ducked his head, feeling the waves of shame crash over him. "Can you blame me?! This is the same alien that tried to invade my planet for almost ten years straight!  _Forgive me_  if I was a bit hesitant to trust him right away! Besides, I trust him  _now_ , so what does it matter?!"

"I understand, believe me, I do. But let this be a warning to you, Dib. You should tell the truth." She briskly walked over to the nightstand where the chip sat and swiped it, dropping it into the pocket of her labcoat. "In the meantime, I'll take this."

"Atra, please, don't-"

"I'm sorry, Dib. I truly am. But I already lost people I care for once. I can't experience that kind of agony again... or I won't be able to go on as a soldier anymore. This chip… this chip is a risk. Even if it could take down the Control Brains… it's too risky."

"It's not!" Dib begged. "Come on, Atra,  _please_ -"

With am uncharacteristic look of twisted rage contorting her face, Atra pulled the box out of her pocket, removed the chip from it, and proceeded to throw it onto the ground.

"Atra! Wait, don't-!"

_Crack!_

Her booted foot came down with all of her weight onto the chip, shattering it into what looked like a million tiny pieces. He watched hopelessly as the metal fragments were ground into dust by the heel of her boot.

"Atra… why did you-"

"Because I knew that if I kept it intact you would've tried to steal it from me. I couldn't let that happen."

"Y-You...  _idiot!"_  Dib yelled. "You could've just destroyed the only hope we had against the Empire!"

She closed her eyes, attempting to block out the hostile tone to his voice. "…There is always another choice, you'd be naïve to think otherwise. You call me that now, but you'll be thanking me for this later on. Please, don't think badly of me. You weren't there to see what I saw. That chip was killing people-"

"The chip didn't do the killing, Atra," Dib began, his voice a low murmur,  _"you did."_

She froze, the words reverberating around in her head, repeating like a mantra.  _You did. You did. You killed them. You got them all killed._

It was a realization she'd come to a long time ago, but had buried it beneath both collective calm and fiery passion. She didn't have the luxury of grieving. Besides, the Meekrob did not mourn their fallen. They briefly lamented the loss, listing the successes of the fallen soldier, before moving on with the mission. Why couldn't she just be like the others?

"…You're right," she finally replied, her voice soft and low. "I killed them." She cradled her head in her hands, her fingers tangling themselves into her silvery, airy locks. "The chip… the chip didn't do any of it… I allowed them to die… I let them die… all for my failures… you're right… you're right…"

Dib's fierce expression finally softened, the weight of the words he's said in a fit of anger finally coming down on him. "Ah… Atra, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I got caught up in the heat of the moment-"

"No, you were right to say it," she interrupted curtly. "You're right. I let them die."

"Atra… tell me what happened on that day. Tell me… why did you come to Irk in the first place?"

She nodded, wiping at her teary eyes, before seating herself on Dib's bed. "It all started a few years ago."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so my friend bc she's amazing drew atra for me as a bday gift!! if u wanna check it out and check her out too bc she's amazing, her tumblr is imagineightion
> 
> (also psst here's the link, you'll have to copy n paste if u wanna see it)
> 
> https://invxder-hxils.tumblr.com/post/177294633263/a-bday-gift-from-the-lovely-imagineightion-if-ur

"As you know, our people have always been at odds with the Irken Empire. But my superiors felt that they were finally ready to launch an attack, after years and years of failed negotiations and small skirmishes. My squad and I were assigned to go undercover."

* * *

_"…and once we have them weakened, we **strike** ," Zevven finished, pointing to the hologram of the Massive. The other soldiers around the room collectively nodded their heads in agreement. The Massive was the newest addition the Irken Armada- and arguably, one of the most vulnerable ships._

_The soldiers talked amongst themselves, all of them seemingly in agreement, when all the sudden a small voice broke the conversation. "Strike? With all due respect Commander Zevven, I don't believe that that's wise."_

_Zevven's eyes scanned around the room, searching for the owner of the voice. He finally settled on a young Meekrob soldier standing in the front row, politely raising her hand._

_He narrowed his eyes at her, clearly annoyed but there was a hint of curiosity in his eyes. "And why not?"_

_She fidgeted awkwardly, as if unsure of how to word her concerns. "Because… would that not be the same as starting a war? We couldn't possibly do that! It goes against our principals. Surely you know, you took the Oath! We all did! During the Oath, we promise to never take the life of another creature."_

_"I understand," Zevven replied calmly. The Oath was something every Meekrob took seriously- it was a lifetime promise, after all. "But we're already at war, and the Oath is not of import in war. We do not have the option to be generous, to be kind. Irkens are ruthless monsters that wander around the universe, conquering for the sheer of amusement of it all. They don't care who gets caught in the crossfire. And at this point… we can't afford to care either."_

_She tilted her head in confusion. "Not… of import? What does that mean?"_

_Zevven rolled his eyes. What was he, a teacher? He cleared his throat, as if she had never raised her hand in the first place. "It means, I'm assigning you to lead your squad into the Empire, disguised as Irkens. You will be fitted with fake PAK's full of encrypted data- it won't last forever, but it will last long enough."_

_"What of the Tallests? Will they take notice?" another male solider asked._

_Zevven shook his head. "No. The Tallests are, to put it bluntly- morons. They won't notice, especially if you're disguised."_

_"Zevven, please!" The young Meekrob blurted out, her tone frantic. "I looked- I know I'm not supposed to, but I… I looked, I used the Sight, and I saw… this plan… this plan will fail!"_

_"That's enough!" Zevven bellowed. "You know it's forbidden to use the Sight unless in times of dire emergencies!"_

_"But sir, this_ is _a dire emergency!"_

_"You listen to me, private. You will lead your squad into the Empire, lay low, and send all of the data and intel you collect back here. And if you continue this nonsense, I won't hesitate to find someone more competent to replace you. Have I made myself clear?"_

_The soldier swallowed thickly, her face falling. "Y-Yes sir, crystal clear," she whispered lowly._

* * *

"So... you got shot down by your commander, huh?" Dib asked as he took a sip from the water bottle he'd grabbed earlier.

"To put it simply, yes," she replied. "My status at the time did not allow me to question my superiors. The fact that I spoke out made the others nervous to be around me. Even my own squad started to worry that I wasn't capable enough to lead them..."

Dib laughed bitterly. "I know how that feels."

"How what feels?"

"Being ostracized like that," he said, his expression hardening as he averted her stare. "It sucks."

"Yes, well..." she trailed off before suddenly forcing a smile. "I'd say you still turned out alright in the end."

"Barely," he said with a half-smile before his look of curiosity overtook his face again. "So uh... what is the 'Sight' exactly?"

"Oh, it's my future vision," Atra explained. "It's forbidden to use the Sight on Meekrob unless it's an emergency. I… I was worried about Zevven going against the Oath, so I used the Sight to see if this plan was destined to work… it wasn't. Almost all of the possible paths led to undesirable outcomes."

"Almost?"

"All but one," she said, raising up her index finger, "and in this path, I went on my own. I went against direct orders and rebelled."

"So that's what you did?"

She nodded. "Yes. I figured that… if that was the path where we win… then that was the path I should take. We were always taught to do everything for the mission, after all. But I would realize shortly after, that going on my own was a mistake."

* * *

_She stared at her Irken reflection in the mirror, her expression contorting into one of disgust. She hated that she had to go around looking like one of those monsters. The green skin, the antennae- she despised it. She tugged awkwardly on the hem of her Irken uniform- but something still didn't seem right. What was it? Her faux PAK was adjusted and working properly, the uniform was that of an elite- so what was she missing?_

_Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of her white labcoat sitting on the metal table. She had gotten rid of it in favor of the Irken uniform, but…_

_'It can't be that much of a change, right?'_

_She briefly removed her fake PAK to slip on the labcoat, admiring her new appearance. The labcoat was fitting- it had been with her since day one, and without it, things felt… strange._ _After readjusting her PAK, she reached around to press the button on the side. A holoscreen appeared before her, presenting her with a wall of text and a picture of her Irken visage._

**_NAME: ATRA_ **

**_STATUS: LIEUTENANT_ **

**_POSITION: SCIENCE & ENGINEERING_ **

_Atra. The new her._

_"Captain? Are you ready to begin phase one?"_

_Atra jumped at the sudden voice, the holoscreen vanishing. She took a brief moment to collect herself before she turned to face her fellow Meekrob companion. "It's not captain anymore, Zelria. It's just… Atra. No, actually, wait- Atrana Astralle."_

_Zelria frowned. "Miss, Irkens don't have surnames… is your PAK functioning properly?"_

_"No no, Atra was my assigned name, but… Atrana Astralle. Don't you think that sounds… nicer?"_

_"…If you think it does, captain, then of course I do!" Zelria chirped, beaming brightly._

_Atra frowned at the response, her excitement fading. "…Ah. I see. Nevermind then. Just… Atra will do."_

* * *

Dib couldn't stifle his chuckle in time, causing a brief frown of disapproval to flash across her face. "You certainly were, uh...  _quirky_."

Atra giggled slightly, the sour look from earlier seemingly gone. "Y-Yes, you could say that. The more I did my job, the more I fell in love with the universe. I studied it, and the more I studied, the more I learned. And yet, even now, there's still so much I don't know. The concept of exploration has always interested me."

The more she talked about her love for the stars, the more he found that perhaps they weren't so different after all. Ever since Dib could walk all he'd ever wanted to do was go out and see all that space had to offer. If only he could go back and tell his two year old self everything he was going to do later on. "So… what happened after that?"

"That night, I decided that I was going to rebel completely… I believed my plan was just. I didn't think the Sight could possibly be wrong. I kept checking and checking, and our outcome hadn't changed- we were still destined to be victorious. So... I set my plan into motion."

* * *

_"Captain, where are you going?!"_

_She didn't stop walking as her soldier struggled to catch up to her. "I told you not to call me that. My name is Atra now," she said, without so much as looking down at the other female._

_"Miss Atra, please just wait a moment! We're supposed to-"_

_"No," Atra snapped, stopping abruptly in front of the younger Meekrob. "I used the Sight, and I saw the way things turn out if we go through with Zevven's plan. For once… I'm going to make my own future."_

_"Miss, please! If you stray from the paths of fate, we'll all be in danger!"_

_"Mikae."_

_"W-What?"_

_Atra smiled warmly, placing a calming hand on her shoulder. "Relax. Trust in me. No one on my crew is going to die."_

* * *

_"A virus? To take out the Control Brains?"_

_Atra nodded. "Yes. If we work with the other defective Irkens, gain their trust… we could fashion a chip that, once inserted into the Brains' main data port, would corrupt them beyond repair."_

_Jun shook his head, heaving a heavy sigh. "Even if such a thing were possible… how could we manage that without the Brains or the other Irkens finding out?"_

_"We'll have a coverup," Atra replied. "In my Sight, I saw… there's a defective Irken coming to the Massive shortly to atone for his crimes. He'll be the perfect coverup."_

_"Using a defective Irken… how could such a thing even be possible..?" Jun asked as his face contorted into a deep grimace._

_"Easy. While you all work on the chip, I will propose it as a means of getting rid of this Irken to the Tallest. I did some digging in this Irken's records- apparently, he's immune to the Control Brains. They tried to kill him years ago and they failed."_

_"And you really think the Tallest will go for it?"_

_"Absolutely. They're desperate- and the Control Brains want this Irken dead."_

_"And what of this Irken? What about when the time comes for his execution?"_

_"For that, I've devised the plans for a faux chip that will merely knock him out for a few hours. It shouldn't take long to make- a day at most. As for the real chip, well… that will take longer."_

_"So let me get this straight," Jun began, "you want us to work undercover on a chip to destroy the Control Brains, and while they're distracted with this Irken, we just... what, attack? Atra, this plan is ridiculous! It won't work! Besides, you know that the Sight's paths constantly change!"_

_"It's risky," Atra admitted, "but with all of us there, the success rate is high."_

_"But there's no way they'd let us get close enough! Atra-"_

_"I-I think we should trust in Miss Atra!" Mikae declared boldy. It was surprising to hear her speak up- she was usually a quiet girl, after all. "She said she used the Sight, and legend has it that the Sight can never be wrong!"_

_"The Sight is almost always wrong, that's why we're forbidden to use it!" Jun shouted._

_"Except in the case of emergencies, and I think this clearly counts as an emergency," Atra corrected. "Please, I understand that this plan sounds crazy, but every cell in my body is telling me to do this. I believe we can win like this. If we follow the steps as they come to me, we cannot fail."_

_Atra looked around the room, her faux magenta eyes clashing with Jun's bright green ones- a rare color for an Irken, as she'd discovered. "…Very well," Jun muttered in a defeated tone. "Let's do it. Since Mikae believes in you… so will I."_

* * *

"I see… it all makes sense now… you knew that Zim was going to be there, so you saw it as an opportunity… but then…"

"But then things went horribly wrong," Atra continued, her tone grave and low. "The Control Brains never found out what we were doing, but… they did find out that some of my comrades had fake PAK's... they were automatically deemed foreign spies and… they were killed. Mikae… Mikae died in my arms…"

Dib wanted to say something, to offer her some sort of comfort, but found that he was unable to say anything, as if his brain had just frozen. He never really had been good at the whole 'comforting' thing.

"…It should've been me," she said coldly, her face glowering almost dangerously, "not Mikae. Not any of them. I'm the one who came up with that idiotic plan, so… it should've been me who paid the price."

"Don't say that," Dib said softly. "You did the best you could. I'm sure the others would say the same thing if they were here today. They know you tried your best for them."

"No, I didn't. If I had… they'd still be alive. I didn't do what was best for them, I did what was best for  _me_ … I did what  _I_  wanted… and that was selfish of me."

"…Maybe," Dib admitted, "but you were stupid for the right reasons. And that's… that's okay. It's okay to make mistakes."

"Even if those mistakes costed people their  _lives?"_  she retorted.

To that, Dib had no response, his face falling.

"…How can you say that?" she asked lowly. "How can it just  _be_  okay?"

"It will," he said, taking her hand into his. "It's going to be okay, Atra. I promise. It'll all be okay."

For the first time in- well, forever, Atra felt tears brimming in her eyes. Is this what it was like to cry? She had never known such a sensation- her people had always said that there was no reason for tears. Not only were they meaningless, but they were a sign of weakness. But here, in this room, she felt oddly safe, safe with Dib, safe with this crew.

So, she let them fall, streaming down her cheek with an almost ghostly glimmer.

God, why was he dealing with so many crying people these days? Dib tossed the thought aside, pulling her to her feet and wrapping her in his arms. It felt strange hugging her, seeing as how she was technically not entirely physical. She radiated no body warmth, but he could feel her relief, her comfort as she returned his embrace.

"It's alright," he murmured soothingly, running his hand through strands of her silvery, wispy hair. It was so light to the touch that Dib wasn't even one hundred percent sure it was really there. "Everything's gonna be alright."

She fell apart in his arms, years and years of dormant anguish building up inside her until it finally erupted right in front of one of her only friends. She hated this, hated being so emotional and weak around someone she looked up to, but right now, she couldn't find it within herself to pull away. So just once, she allowed the weakness, welcomed it even.

If being weak meant being with her friends, then she would gladly be a weakling over a warrior.

* * *

Zim wasn't at the lunch or dinner periods.

It wasn't uncommon for Zim to skip these periods in favor of doing something else, but Dib had gotten so accustomed to sitting with him at lunch talking about nothing. Not to mention that he hadn't seen him around at all- and this was starting to concern Dib. Had he not left his room all day? It was probably nothing- Zim did that sometimes, disappeared for random periods of time before making a grandiose return. But there was a tight, nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't ignore- and it was telling him that something was wrong.

Well, when had his intuition ever been wrong?

With his mind made up, Dib made his way over to Zim's room and, after taking a moment to prepare, knocked on the door.

There was a response almost immediately, however, and rather than Zim answering like he'd expected, it was Gir- and the little robot was clearly panicked, coolant fluid leaking from his eyes in what Dib imagined were supposed to be tears.

"MARY!" Gir wailed before pointing frantically into the darkness of the room. "Master won't get up! He's been sleepin for hours now! HOURS!"

Dib knew that Gir had a tendency to exaggerate- but  _something_  had to have the little guy pretty spooked. "Okay, I'm gonna take a look Gir. Just… stay calm, okay?"

The SIR unit nodded, saluting respectfully like he'd salute his master, before scurrying off to the corner of the room in a fit of giggles, his concerns from mere seconds ago seemingly forgotten.

"Zim, you in here? Jeez, why do you have it so dark in here? Where's the light switch…"

After feeling around on the wall for a bit, he found the button and pressed it, the small but cozy room lighting up in response. He looked around for Zim and was starting to think that perhaps Gir was lying, but when he saw the blanketed heap lying on the bed, he realized that the dysfunctional robot really hadn't been lying- Zim was  _asleep,_ at least, he  _hoped_  he was. Oh  _God_ , he wasn't-

"Zim?!" Dib exclaimed before rushing over to the bed, peeling the blanket off Zim's shivering body. "Zim, wake up!"

The Irken groaned softly, almost as if he were disappointed from the loss of his heat source, but didn't open his eyes.

Okay, so he was definitely alive- which was a good sign. But that definitely didn't explain the excessive sleeping. "Zim!" Dib shouted again. "Come on, get up!"

Zim's antennae twitched in response. He then proceeded to let out a giggle- an honest to God  _giggle_. "Dib, stop that…"

Dib cocked a brow, confused. "I'm not doing any-  _oh."_

It occurred to Dib then that Zim was dreaming. Strange- he didn't think Irkens were capable of dreams. They shouldn't sleep in the first place, being part computer and all, so how was Zim  _dreaming?_

His previous conversation with Zim on this topic suddenly sprang up in his head unbidden at the thought.

_"I believe my PAK is treating my emotions like an illness, and is doing its best to correct them."_

He shook his head. Zim had made his decision- and so long as it wasn't endangering his life at the moment, Dib didn't have the right to stand in his way.

"Inferior human worm…" Zim mumbled dreamily, drawing his legs up closer to his chest as if to preserve warmth.

 _"When he isn't busy being an annoying little shit, he's actually… kind of adorable,"_  Dib thought to himself with an endearing smile. "Alien freak," he taunted back, wondering if he could get Zim to respond.

 _"You're_  the freak… stupid… Dib-love…"

_Dib-love._

_Dib-love._

**_Dib-love._ **

After a brief recovery period for his mini heart attack, the cogs started turning once more and Dib's brain suddenly began working again. Zim had called him "Dib-love". Did he hear that correctly? Maybe he didn't hear right- Zim was talking with slurred speech, after all, he had to have misheard! Yeah. That's right- there's  _no way_ Zim would say-

"Dib-love…"

Twice. He'd heard it twice now. There's no way he could've misheard twice in a row- right?

_Fuck._

Shaking his head in an attempt to rid himself of the fluttery feeling in his chest, Dib grabbed both of the alien's shoulders and shook him roughly. "Zim, get up!"

Zim's eyes suddenly snapped open. He abruptly sat up, tiredly rubbing at his eyes. "Dib?" he murmured sleepily. "What are you doing here? Were you watching Zim sleep?!"

"Wha- no! I came to check on you 'cause you hadn't left your room all day, and then Gir answered the door screaming. The little guy was worried sick…"

As if on cue, the SIR unit leaped into his master's lap, sobbing uncontrollably. "MASTER! I was so worried about you!" Surprisingly, Zim only looked mildly uncomfortable, and allowed Gir to hug and squeeze and sob as he pleased.

"You two are adorable," Dib teased as the robot finally jumped off his lap to go entertain himself.

"Shut up," Zim snapped as he straightened his crooked uniform. "As you can see, Zim is fine, so you can go now."

As Zim should've figured, it wouldn't be that easy to get rid of him. "Zim, do you not remember what you said while you were dreaming?"

Zim's antennae perked, as if in recognition, before his cheeks flushed and he looked away, folding his arms across his chest. "Irkens don't dream you fool."

"Well, you were just a minute ago," Dib pointed out. "Must've been a good dream too, you were all… giggly."

"Zim was no such thing!"

"Yes you were, it was kinda cute, actually."

 _Fuckfuckfuck._ He hadn't meant to say that out-loud-  _really_ , he hadn't. God, what would Zim say? Would he castrate him or something?

Surprisingly, Zim's reaction was rather…  _mild_ , compared to what Dib was expecting. "…Shut up, you inferior human worm. Zim is not cute."

He couldn't help but grin. "Funny. That's what you called me in your dream," Dib noted- and that's when it clicked. "Wait a minute- you  _do_ remember, don't you?" he prompted, inching closer to the Irken.

Zim immediately backed away, scooting further onto the bed. "Zim remembers nothing! You speak nonsense, Dib! NONSENSE!"

"Zim-"

"Zim has no idea what the Dib is talking about! As if I would ever subject myself to such a disgusting human concept! Now stop spouting ridiculous ideas from your pitiful noise tube!"

Dib didn't know why he did it, not really, but there was one thing he knew for sure in that moment, and it was that he really wanted Zim to just  _shut up._ So, he did the only thing he could think of doing.

He grabbed both of Zim's hands with his, effectively silencing the ranting Irken. As soon as Dib's hands made contact with his gloved ones, every word died in his throat, his body tensing as he slowly met Dib's eyes.

"Zim. Shut up."

"Dib-"

"Just- be quiet for a minute, okay?"

"Why should I?"

"Just. Please. Shut up. For one minute."

"…Fine. But only for one minute exactly, you hear me?!  _One minute!"_

Dib knew he  _literally_  only had a minute- Zim would count down every second in his head. But he would make this minute count- he wouldn't let this rare opportunity to go to waste. Zim being quiet for more than ten seconds wasn't something he could just pass up, after all.

_50_

Dib slowly let their hands sink to his lap. Ever so gently, he allowed their fingers to lock together. It was a bit of an awkward fit, seeing as how Zim only had six fingers and Dib had ten- but they made it work. Just like everything else in their relationship, really.  _They made it work._

_40_

Zim didn't move, didn't speak, didn't so much as breathe. He kept most of his focus on counting each second. Every second was one second closer to his freedom. He didn't even allow himself to question why he was doing this, why he was allowing Dib to just stare at him like a weirdo. But a minute was a minute- and it was all he was getting. Otherwise, he feared he may do something he'd regret later. And Zim did  _not_ have regrets-  _that_  was the scariest part of it all.

_30_

_Fuck_ , he didn't have long now and he knew it. The clock that Zim had ticking in his head was counting down and he only had about a half a minute left to do something. What was the point of this anyway? He thought he'd enjoy the silence without Zim's grating voice, but now the room just felt empty, tense.

_Do something Dib. Say something. Anything._

_20_

Twenty seconds. Nineteen seconds. Eighteen seconds.

What was the Dib doing? And why did he look so pained? Their hands were still awkwardly intertwined atop Dib's lap. Funnily enough, the thought to move them hadn't ever occurred to him. Dib's hands were warm.

_10_

Something was wrong with him. The room suddenly felt like it was far too small and way too hot- had Gir turned up the heat or something?

Zim looked unfazed sitting across from him, his hands squeezing Dib's every now and then. Without even realizing it, Dib had been squeezing back. Why was he bothering with reassuring the alien, when he was the one that needed to be reassured right now?

_9_

Zim was getting antsy now. Time was almost up- but he dare not move. Maybe the Dib wasn't aware that he'd been counting this whole time.

_8_

Dib's eyes briefly flickered over to the window. They were passing by a star, light spilling into the room. It bathed the alien before him in a luminous glow. When his ruby eyes caught the light just right Dib could've sworn he saw a hint of a sparkle.

_7_

Zim felt what could almost be described as an itch deep in the pit of his squeedlyspooch. Dib was looking at him more intently now, staring right into his eyes without any of his usual hesitation or nervousness. This sudden confidence stoked an anxious fire deep within him.

_Relax, Zim. Time's almost up._

_6_

If Zim weren't such an annoying little shit, Dib would almost think of him as cosmic. An almost celestial being in this endless universe. Zim was far from celestial- and from his experience; aliens were nowhere near the wise creatures he'd expected them to be. In fact, aside from appearance, they weren't that much different from humans. Zim wouldn't let him hear the end of it, if Dib had ever told him that he was anything like a human.

But  _damn_ , if he didn't look like a celestial being right now…

_5_

Dib had five seconds left, and Zim's squeedlyspooch was on fire. Since when had he gotten so close? Why did the faint glow from the stars make his eyes glitter?

_4_

Dib thought back to their days in school, back when he used to call Zim a hideous space monster. If he could only go back in time to laugh at his past self- if only his past self knew what he would have waiting for him in the future. This moment, right here, with an Irken. The very same Irken who tried to destroy his planet.

_3_

The fire had spread. From his squeedlyspooch to the tips of his antennae, then all the way down to the very ends of his feet. He was shaking again- and visibly so.

_Focus, damn you! Focus, Zim!_

_2_

Dib was going to run out of time.

He thought back again to his old journals, full of notes that he would scribble down whenever he learned something new about Zim, whether it be his base, his species, or his home planet. He could only imagine what he would've written in them now.

_He shines in the starlight._

_His antennae twitch when he hears things._

_He blushes purple._

_He snorts when he laughs genuinely, which is weird- Irkens don't even have noses?_

_His smiles are genuine sometimes- without a hint of any sort of malice in them. Those are my favorite._

_…He gets lonely a lot._

_His feelings get hurt really easily- but he never shows it._

_He's the only friend I've ever had._

_He's…_

_He's…_

**_Fuck._ **

_1_

That one second felt like an eternity- like time had slowed down even inside Zim's head. And when it finally did pass, Zim's reaction was delayed. He barely managed to escape the heat of his own body long enough to take a breath to speak. "Your minute is up Dib! Now surr-"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence.

Because Dib's mouth was on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!~~


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly just zadr lol rip

Once he realized what was happening, that he was now  _kissing an alien oh my God what the fuck-_ Dib immediately recoiled, his face burning. He felt the shame settle in and he suddenly wished that the cold vacuum of space would bust through the floor of the room and swallow him whole. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm  _so_   _sorry_ , I don't know why I did that…"

Zim remained still in a stunned silence, his eyes wide and unblinking, his cheeks flushed a vibrant purple, lips still slightly parted.

"Oh  _God_ , I probably scarred you for life…" Dib whined as he covered his reddening face with his hands. "Look, I'm really sorry, I don't know why I did that, but I won't do it again."

"Dib-"

"It was a spur of the moment thing really, I don't know why I reacted that way but you said my minute was up and I panicked and I just-"

Small hands were suddenly cradling his face, effectively silencing him. "Dib!" Zim's dark, berry-colored orbs bored into him, and Dib all the sudden felt like the galaxy was pouring into his head.

"What… was that for..?" he asked.

"Oh, uh, it's… it's called a kiss, it's-"

"I know what it's called Dib, Zim is no fool. I've been on Earth long enough to be somewhat familiar with your  _filthy_  mating cultures." Zim cringed as he said the word "mating", pulling a face of disgust. "What I want to know is  _why_."

The question he'd been dreading since it happened- like, thirty seconds ago. "I… I don't know? I just, I… you were sitting there across from me and you weren't saying anything and you just looked…"

"Looked..?" Zim prompted, urging for an explanation.

"I don't know how you looked, you just...! Ugh! While you were counting down, I was just looking at you and thinking and thinking and then I thought about old times- all those journals I used to keep about you, and I thought of what I'd write in them now and they… I-  _fuck."_

Zim didn't say anything this time, but he still looked rather confused- and rightly so. Dib knew he was just babbling at this point. After all, how could he even begin to make sense of this?

"Just- God, I don't know." Dib buried his head in his hands, raking his fingers through his hair, before slowly raising his head again to reluctantly meet Zim's eyes. "All I know is… you're the most frustrating person I've ever met in my life- you're loud, you're obnoxious, you complain. But every time I think about… my future, what I'm going to do if we make it out of this… I can't see a future that doesn't have you in it. With me. And- I don't know what that means, but-"

"Dib."

Zim's hands were on his again, and it's then when Dib realized just how much the Irken's touch set his body on fire.

"Zim thinks… that the Dib thinks too much."

Dib smiled halfheartedly. "No offense, but… this is a lot to take in, I think I have the right."

"But Zim… has also been thinking the same thing," he admitted. "No one could ever be you, Dib." He cleared his throat, but Dib didn't miss the way he opened his eye slightly to meet Dib's gaze. "No one could ever match up to me. There's no one but you. That is why I will not accept anyone else as my mortal enemy."

"…Right," Dib said with a dry, breathy laugh. "Mortal enemy..."

"You sound disappointed," Zim noted.

Dib was hoping that he wouldn't pick up on that- but there wasn't much he could get past him these days. "No, it's just… I thought we were past that. You know…  _friends_ , at least."

Zim looked as if he were considering this, before he let out a laugh. "It's true that, perhaps we are now on… better terms. But you can't erase what we were, Dib. That's how we met. That's what we'll always be, underneath all that we've built since… that is the foundation of who we are. Did you think we could just forget that and become  _bestest_   _friends?"_

"Well…  _yeah_ , actually," Dib admitted, his tone coming off as a bit annoyed. "Zim, do you still… you know... hate me..?"

Why did the Dib sound so desperate, like he'd fall apart with the wrong answer? "I… Zim has always hated you, you fool…"

"I mean, right now," Dib urged. "In the present… in this moment… do you hate me?"

Zim recoiled, drawing further away from Dib as if increasing their distance would get him out of having to answer his question.

"Answer me," Dib demanded, drawing closer to him every time Zim tried to move away.

"I… well what about you?! Do  _you_  hate Zim?!" Zim asked, pointing an accusatory finger at Dib.

Dib shrugged. "Sometimes, yeah. But no, not really. I don't really hate you, not anymore. Stopped hating you a long time ago. Now was that so hard?"

"How am I supposed to answer you?" Zim retorted. He grabbed the tips of his antennae, pulling on them in frustration. "What do you want from Zim?! What are you expecting from me? How long are you going to torment me like this?"

Concern overtook the pain of apparent rejection. "Torment you? Zim, what's wrong?"

"You  _know_ what's wrong! Ever since you came and rescued Zim like a fool... it doesn't stop."

"What doesn't stop?"

"You. All the time. In my amazing head."

Dib blinked- that  _definitely_  hadn't been the response he was expecting.

"How much longer until you're satisfied, human?"

"Tell me how to stop it, then," Dib offered. "If I'm really the one making you feel like this, then just tell me how to stop it."

"I thought you would know that!" Zim shouted.

"No, I don't even know what you're talking about! Besides, what's the big deal anyway?! I know this is new for you- and I know your PAK has been taking a toll on you. I know you're in rough shape right now, and I'm  _sorry._ Believe me I am; I'd do anything to help you. But I don't know what else to do for you Zim! You never make any sense! One minute you want my help, the next minute you don't! So what do you want me to say?!  _How do you expect me to fix you?!"_

"I DON'T KNOW!" Zim screamed, his chest heaving. "I don't know, I don't know,  _I don't know!_  I just want it to stop! I want to stop  _caring_  about you… I want the ache in my 'spooch to stop… I want… I want…"

"…Zim. Stay still for a second."

Dib reached for his hands again, but the alien resisted, batting Dib's hand away. "Stay away from Zim!"

After a bit of a struggle, Dib managed to grab both of Zim's wrists, and when he had him still enough, pulled him into his arms.

"Stop it! Get off me! You're making it worse! You're making it-  _mmph!"_

Dib was kissing him again, but it was different from before. The last kiss had been gentle, full of uncertainty and curiosity- but this one was raw, full of intense passion- designed to prove a point. Without even realizing it, Zim had closed his eyes and responded in turn, winding his arms around Dib's neck. His teeth roughly bit at Dib's bottom lip as his claws dug into the tiny curls of hair at the base of his neck. It was filthy, disgusting- he hated it but he never  _ever_  wanted it to stop. The pain in his spooch dissipated when Dib was near, as he'd noticed, and he'd been living with it for so long now that having it subside was an extremely satisfying feeling unlike any other.

Dib parted, chest heaving for breath. "How… do you feel now...?"

Zim placed one clawed hand against his chest. "Zim feels… confused… and angry, but… also relieved..?"

"…Me too," Dib admitted with a goofy, lopsided grin.

Zim mirrored his grin. "Then I guess that makes us both a couple of fools."

"I'm no doctor," Dib began with an almost professional tone, as if he actually  _were_  a doctor giving a diagnosis, "but I think your problem's the same as mine."

"Oh? And what would that be?" Zim inquired, his voice almost a low purr.

"I'm a hopeless nerd in love with his old nemesis," Dib admitted, "go figure- the local freak also happens to be a xenophile."

"Love," Zim repeated, as if the word were foreign. "How disgusting. An Irken in love. If you're the  _local_  freak, then what does that make me?"

"You've always been a freak," Dib teased, "but it's alright. We're all kinda freaks in some way."

Zim huffed defiantly. "No, the Dib is the freak. That is why Zim is superior."

If he were eleven years old again, the two would've bickered a bit more before getting into one of their infamous fistfights. Now, as a 19 year old adult, he found that what he wanted to do instead was  _vastly_ different.

Dib sighed, taking Zim's hands within his own. He noticed that that seemed to calm him, for whatever reason. "Look,  _I_  don't even know for sure if it's…  _that_ , but I think there's one thing we both know at this point, and it's that… we're better together, you and I. So… let's not torment ourselves anymore."

Zim seemed to be satisfied with that response, allowing Dib to pull him closer. "So… what? Now we do that filthy  _'lurve'_  thing?"

"It's not as filthy as you think," Dib argued. "I think it comes with a few perks that almost make it worth it."

"Like?" Zim prompted.

"Like," Dib inched closer, his mouth hovering over Zim's,  _"this."_

* * *

"The Massive is going to be surrounded by ships. They'll detect us as soon as we come within range." Lard Nar started, gesturing to the holoscreen with a gloved hand.

Meosori was quick to chime in, swiping the holoscreen to reveal a simulation of a fleet of ships. "Which is why we've devised a distraction- thanks to the help of the Meekrob and the Heirians, we've comprised a small fleet that will distract those ships while the rest of you sneak in to capture the Tallests."

"You're all  _welcome, by the way,"_ Infera cut in with an angry huff from her spot against the wall, "it took me  _hours_  of haggling to get the higher-ups back on my home planet to agree to this."

"Hold on," Fruo cut in, raising his hand objectively. "Aren't we basically just… using those other soldiers as bait?"

Lard Nar lowered his head, as if he were ashamed, and stayed silent. In fact, no one in the room seemed to have a good enough answer for him as the silence grew.

Vythani was quick to speak once the tense silence in the room started to become deafening. "…I'm terribly sorry, Fruo, I truly am, but we're at war. There's a bigger picture here. Besides- we are all fighting for the same cause."

"But Fruo's got a point," Dib added. "Do they know that we're basically throwing them into the meat grinder?"

"This is  _war,"_ Vythani repeated, his voice shockingly stern. "Surely you all know the risks. They do as well. I wish it didn't have to be like this, but we simply don't have the luxury."

"Then why can't we just attack head on?" Fruo argued. "Why do we have to sacrifice people?! It just doesn't seem right to me!"

"It's  _not!"_ Vythani bellowed, effectively silencing everyone in the room. "It's not right, nothing  _about_  war is right. After the horrors I've witnessed, I'd give anything for things to not have to be this way. But if someone doesn't do something, more people will suffer and die by the Irken Empire. And the only thing Irkens know is war, battle, blood, suffering- that's the only way to get through to them. And what- attack head on?" Vythani bit back a dry laugh. "Attack head on and we'll  _all_  be killed, and what good would that do all the people who are suffering right now?" He raked a hand through his hair and heaved a long sigh. "All I'm saying is that in war the rules are a little bit different. And if you want to make a change, you have to abide by them, no matter how unfair they may be."

Fruo narrowed his eyes before ducking his head, reluctantly falling silent.

Vythani nodded towards Lard Nar. "Pardon me for my outburst, captain. Please, continue."

"R-Right," Lard Nar stuttered before clearing his throat. "Ahem, so where were we? Yes, the ships! Once we've got the Massive right where we want it, a few of our cruiser ships will sneak in around the back-  _here_. It will most likely be heavily guarded, which is why I'm only sending the best of the best. You will infiltrate the Massive, capture the Tallest alive, and meet back on this ship, where we will set a course for Irk."

_"Irk,"_ Zim thought to himself,  _"for the first time in years, I'm going home…"_ Zim hadn't been on Irk since he was a smeet. A mere month after he was hatched he was shipped off to a military training planet. He barely remembered the place. What did it look like now? What had changed?

He was almost afraid to find out.

"A copy of the Control Brain Interface is on the Massive- how will we get onboard undetected? It'll be notified as soon as we step foot within the ship," Dib asked.

"That's a good question- that's actually where  _you_  come in, Dib!"

Dib blinked, eyes widening. "Me..?"

"I told you your hacking skills would come in handy," Lard Nar replied with a wink. "Infera is the best hacker on this ship- she will be leading you and a group of other hackers in briefly deactivating the Control Brains' security system. That will be our first step."

"Once the security system goes down, that'll be the cue to infiltrate," Meosori continued.

"We've set our course for the Massive, and at our current speed, we'll catch up to them within 36 Earth hours. Once this meeting is adjourned, you should all begin to prepare," Atra said.

"I know… that all of you have your own reasons for being here," Lard Nar began, clearing his throat as if preparing for a speech, "but regardless of your personal reasons… when we succeed… we're going to save millions of lives. Each and every one of you here today will be a part of that- so feel proud. Hold onto that- and do your very best. Meeting adjourned."

* * *

"This is  _outrageous_!" Zim shouted angrily, throwing his hands up into the air exaggeratedly as he paced back and forth around his room. "They're sending me,  _Zim_ , out onto the battlefield while the Dib gets to stay here all safe and sound?! Ridiculous!"

"Trust me, I don't like it either," Dib told him, "but I'm just… needed here, I guess."

"Right. Of course you are," Zim huffed before plopping down onto his bed, arms folded over his chest.

Dib couldn't help but smile adoringly at his hopeless alien before seating himself next to him. "How have you been? Has your PAK been getting any worse?"

Zim shook his head. "No. But it's strange… around you, my PAK seems to be… stable. I don't feel as weak physically when I'm with you."

"Strange indeed," Dib agreed with a taunting smirk, "maybe it knows you made out with a human."

"That is the stupidest theory I've ever heard," Zim grumbled.

Dib didn't miss the way his cheeks turned bright pink at his words. He threw his hands up defensively, grinning suavely. "Just a thought." He suddenly stood up, stretching his aching limbs. "I should probably go hit the hay, we don't have long before we have to head out and I wanna get some rest in before-"

"Wait."

Dib paused when he felt a gloved hand wrap itself around his wrist.

"Stay… with Zim," he said quietly, refusing to look him in the eye.

"You uh… want me to stay?"

"Fool, is that not what I just said? Zim just… wants the Dib's presence near him, is that such a bad thing?"

Just  _why_  did he have to be so adorable? "No, not at all," he replied before moving to sit down next to him. "Wanna see what's on TV?"

Since they were, well-  _in space_ , all that the television provided was prerecorded programs and old movies. Most of them were in alien languages Dib didn't know- and he imagined that Zim really didn't feel like translating, judging by the way he pressed his face into the crook of his neck.

As Dib searched for a movie that was available in English, a random, but intriguing question came to him, and he had the sudden urge to ask the Irken beside him. "Zim, do Irkens make movies? I mean- do you guys even have an entertainment industry?"

"'Course not," Zim mumbled tiredly into the skin of his neck. "Conquering planets is entertainment enough. Though there are a few televised events, such as the Great Assigning."

"So, if you didn't have TV… what did you guys do for fun?"

"Recreation didn't really exist," Zim mumbled, "from the moment we're hatched, we're immediately shipped off to the academy."

"Does every Irken have to be an invader?"

He felt Zim smile against him. "Of course not, foolish Dib-monkey. When we're fitted with our PAK's, they tell us what our jobs are meant to be. Mine, of course, since it was damaged, never told me anything. But I didn't need it to. I knew what I wanted to do."

He didn't know where this slew of sudden questions was coming from- but now that he had the Irken alone and they were on good terms again, he figured it'd be a good opportunity to learn, right? "Well, what kind of other jobs are there?"

"All kinds," Zim replied, "though certain positions are reserved for the Tallers. Invaders are not the highest rank of soldier, but… I was desperate to prove myself to the Tallest…"

Dib felt him stiffen against him and looked down to meet Zim's eyes. "Zim? You okay?"

Zim nodded slowly. "Y-Yes, Zim… Zim is fine," he reassured him. "Zim has been thinking lately… about what the others said… regarding the Tallest. If we succeed in capturing them… then I am the one who must interrogate."

"Zim, you don't  _have_ to do anything," Dib reminded him. "We can get someone else-"

"No," he interrupted. "An Irken will, quite literally,  _die_  before they fail to protect the Empire. I'm the only chance we have at getting any information. But Zim… Zim is not sure if he can…"

Dib placed a gentle hand against the Irken's cheek. "Zim, listen to me," he said. "It's not the end of the world if we don't get anything from them. We'll just have to go about it a different way if that's the case. You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with-"

"This is  _war_ , Dib," Zim interrupted sharply. "Drastic things are going to be required of me, of  _all_  of us. Tell me…" He abruptly sat up, Dib's hand falling from his cheek. "Are  _you_  prepared for that?"

"…No," Dib answered truthfully. "I'm not. But at this point… I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

Zim stared at him as if he had grown a second head, and for a moment Dib feared he had said something wrong, but relaxed a bit when he saw Zim's defeated grin. "You humans… you never cease to amaze me with your foolish recklessness."

"You have no room to talk, space boy," Dib reminded him, urging Zim to lay back down beside him. "I think 'reckless' could be your middle name."

"Wrong," Zim mumbled as he got comfortable in his human's embrace, "Most Irkens only have one name- but some get the privilege of choosing a surname. Middle names are just pointless. Two names is already more than enough, don't you think? Seriously, what's the point of three names?"

"It's to tell us apart, for one," Dib explained, "a lot of people have the same name."

"The same name? That's just stupid- every Irken has a different title."

Dib hummed softly to himself as he traced patterns on Zim's shoulder. "Mmm… how do Irkens get named anyway? You guys don't have parents."

Zim didn't recoil like he used to when Dib initiated physical contact between them. Instead, he welcomed it. He had to admit, he liked that not every touch between them now was violent. He had never known affection to this degree, to this extent. Having that was refreshing in a way he couldn't even begin to understand. "Our PAK's. They tell us our names, the whole of Irken history, and what we're destined to be, as soon as we're fitted with them- which is essentially right out of hatching."

"Hatching? So… I get that you guys are cloned, but…  _how_ , exactly?"

Zim quirked an antenna. "Full of questions tonight, aren't you? Why are you so interested in the  _amazing_  past of Zim all the sudden?"

Dib shrugged. "I dunno, it's just… we've known each other for years and yet… I really feel like I don't know anything about you."

Zim averted the human's intense gaze, instead focusing on the folds of the sheets. "…It is probably for the best that you don't know."

"What? Come on, you mentioned you did some dark stuff but… that's all behind you now. Nothing you can say could possibly scare me away, I mean… look at us. I'm dating my former enemy, who once decided that  _stealing organs_ would help him fit in. That's like…  _next level_  weird."

Zim shuddered at the memory. Looking back on it now- even  _he_  could admit it wasn't his finest moment. "I am not sure you would understand… Irken society is so much different from your filthy primitive ways. Earth children, as I've noticed… seem much more…  _liberated._ Do you remember that day, all those years ago when Miss Bitters assigned us our future careers?"

"You mean that day you went through that gross alien molt, lizard-boy?" Dib teased. "Yeah, I remember. Why?"

Zim lightly smacked him on the arm. "The children mentioned all the things they wanted to be when they reached adulthood… and I could not help but be reminded of myself at that age. Irkens do not desire, the only thing we like is destruction and serving our Tallest, but… for as long as I can remember… I had my own goals, my own desires. Of course I still wanted to serve my leaders, but… it was different from the others."

"That's not such a bad thing, is it? Being different."

"It is in my society," Zim told him. "But of course, I paid it no mind at the time because I thought I was doing my Tallest proud."

"…Did you really do it, Zim?" Dib asked quietly. "Did you really kill two of your leaders?"

"…Yes," Zim admitted. It was something he had barely been able to admit to himself, yet here he was, admitting it out-loud to the Dib-beast. "The creature I made got out of my control and destroyed them both."

"…O-Oh…"

Zim sat up again, his smile uncharacteristically soft, lacking any sort of malice or mischievousness. "How strange… I never mourned for anyone that got in my way before…"

Dib sat up with him, scooting ever closer to him. "Zim… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you relive all of this…"

"Eh? No, it's just… not too long ago I would've told this story as if I were proud… now, I… I feel…  _conflicted_. I hate it!"

"…I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing," Dib said reassuringly. "It just means… you're changing."

"…That is what I've been trying to say, Dib," Zim said, antennae lowering as if he were ashamed. "Irkens… do not change. We are not  _supposed_  to change. From the moment we enter life… to the moment we die… we are to be exactly the same. Yet humans… humans are supposed to change! You disgusting little apes constantly change… all the time, in all sorts of ways! So why am I… becoming like  _you…"_

Dib gently took Zim's hands within his own. "Maybe it's because… you were never like them to begin with."

Zim chuckled bitterly, but didn't respond, knowing that Dib was probably right.

"Zim."

"Mmm?"

"C'mere."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Begrudgingly, Zim scooted forward across the bed until he was practically in Dib's lap, his cheeks flushing profusely. "Now what?"

"Now, relax." He tentatively wrapped his arms around the Irken. "Jeez, you're so tense… do you ever calm down, at all?"

"'S not good to let your guard down…" Zim mumbled tiredly into Dib's chest.

Dib grinned. "Is that so?" His hands wandered up and down Zim's arms, his shoulders, and his back. God, that PAK has  _got_ to be uncomfortable. Now that Zim was starting to need sleep- how did he get it with that thing on his back? "How do you sleep now with this thing?"

"On my side," Zim answered. "Back home, in my, erm… private chambers, I had a bed. I rarely used it, but it was designed to accommodate for my PAK. Unfortunately, this mattress is not."

"Private chambers?" Dib smirked. "Sounds kinky."

Zim tilted his head. "Kinky?"

"It's uh- nevermind." Dib shook his head. "Sorry for all the questions tonight, it's just… I'm still kind of shocked that we're… you know… touchy-feely now."

"Do you not like it?"

"Wha- no! I mean, yeah, of course I like it! I just- I mean… it's a little weird, you have to admit."

"A little?"

"Okay, a  _lot_ weird. But, it's a good weird. It's the kind of weird that… makes me curious…"

Embarrassed by Dib's tone, Zim buried his face further into his shirt. "About what?"

"Like…" Dib trailed off, wracking his brain for suggestions. His eyes fell on the two black stalks hanging limply on either side of Zim's head. "Your antennae."

As if on cue, they both perked up almost instantaneously. "W-What do you want with my antennae..?"

"Well, what are they used for? Do you use them to hear?"

"Yes and no. My antennae can be more accurately described as feelers. I can sense vibrations with them."

"Cool…" Dib blurted- because, well,  _it was cool._ It wasn't every day that you got to meet an alien, let alone befriend, make out with, and then proceed to  _date_  said alien. "Can- Can I touch them?"

"No!" Zim shouted, and upon realizing that he had raised his voice a tad too high, cleared his throat. "Er, I mean… no. My antennae are sensitive and even the slightest amount of pressure can-  _gahhhh!"_

Zim's words were cut off by an undignified yelp as Dib's fingers made their way to his antennae, taking the both of them between his fingers. "Wow…" Dib mused as he lightly pinched the bases. "They really are cool, Zim…"

"Sh-Shut up…" Zim could barely speak as Dib's fingers brought him a feeling so foreign that it was overwhelming. "S-Stop that!"

Dib immediately paused. "Am I hurting you?"

"N-No, it just… feels weird…"

"Good weird or bad weird?"

"I don't know! It's…" Zim paused to clear his throat, "not… completely unpleasant…"

Dib couldn't help but smirk as he continued to stroke the quivering antennae. "Then I'll take that as my cue to keep going. Just relax, okay?"

"Dib-"

"Zim. Trust me. I won't hurt you."

Something about Dib's tone almost made him feel… secure? Strange. With Dib's reassurance, his hesitance was all but gone, fading into a strong desire to just be close to the human. And well- Zim had never been the kind to deny himself what he wanted. With a newfound confidence, Zim relaxed into Dib's touch, slotting their hips together as he leaned into the fabric of his uniform.

"Mmm… Dib-beast" he crooned, "more… Zim demands you continue…"

Dib continued to lightly stroke and rub, applying various amounts of pressure to the bases and the tips to see how he'd react. He was careful not to press too hard, knowing that he could easily hurt him. Eventually he heard Zim's breathing even out and realized that he'd fallen asleep on him, a content smile and soft flush present on his face. Geez- how was  _that_  the same face of the alien who'd tried to kill him years ago? He looked so peaceful, so calm like this- had he ever known the sensation of sleep before all of this happened?

"Get some sleep," he whispered. "You deserve this."

He lay back onto the bed, repositioning Zim so that he was laying comfortably on his side. Despite how he looked, Zim was surprisingly heavy.

Come to think of it- should he stay? He wanted to, but he and Zim had quite literally  _just started_ their relationship- wasn't this a bit  _soon,_ sleeping in the same bed? Ah, well. Earth's relationship standards probably didn't apply in space anyway. Besides, he was tired, there was a bed right here, and Zim- his  _alien boyfriend_ \- was already fast asleep.

_I will never get used to calling Zim my boyfriend._

With his mind promptly made up, Dib proceeded to get comfortable underneath the blankets, pulling Zim closer to him. He could've sworn that, with the faint glow from the television illuminating the room, he could still see that same content smile on Zim's face.

This was really happening.

He was out in outer space, fighting an oppressive alien regime, and officially dating an alien  _from_  said oppressive regime.

_What the hell was he supposed to tell his father and Gaz?_


	13. Chapter 13

"Captain?"

Lard Nar jumped, clearly startled. He whirled around in his chair, and in an attempt to compose himself he straightened out his uniform and cleared his throat. "Ahem. Dib! You should be off preparing- we're getting ready to begin the mission in a couple of hours. What are you doing here?"

"About that… there's uh.. something I want to ask you."

Lard Nar had never seen the boy this concerned before. "...Go on…"

"Is it… do you have communicators that could access other planets, by any chance?"

The serious expression that had fell across his face immediately lifted, a bright grin replacing the grim frown he had been wearing before. "Of course- every communication device on this ship is designed for interplanetary communication. Why?"

Dib averted his gaze, lightly kicking at the ground with his foot. "Well, see… I have a family back home, on Earth… and I was hoping I could talk to them."

The captain's mouth pressed into a thin, hard line as his eyes narrowed. "That's the thing- we can only establish connections with other devices that are compatible- I am not sure that anything on Earth would be compatible with our technology. Er… no offense."

Dib barely managed to hold back a snicker. "None taken, but… I have been told that I'm a pretty good hacker." He flexed his fingers, smirking slightly. "Can I… try it out with one of the computers?"

Lard Nar blinked, his eyes wide and round as saucers, even beneath those goggles he wore- Dib had never seen him without them. "S-Sure… here, you can use mine… I'll change the language settings to English, too." With a few clicks and taps of fingers against keys, Dib was finally able to recognize the text on the rather alien looking computer.

"Thanks. Hopefully I won't be long."

He had hacked into Zim's computer before- and Irkens were one of the most advanced races when it came to their technology. Surely this couldn't be much harder, right? With a crack of his knuckles, Dib proceeded to familiarize himself with the alien interface. It surprisingly wasn't that difficult to navigate- though he imagined that it helped that it was now translated to English. He set to work quickly, searching through database after database of information until he found what he was looking for.

"I just need to find a signal strong enough to lock onto, and if I can crack the code… yes! I'm in!"

"Wow," Lard Nar mumbled from behind him, astonished, "you really are good. Perhaps you'll take Infera's spot as top hacker."

He ignored the lighthearted quip. "Now, if I can just pinpoint my house…"

"Do you always talk to yourself while you work?" Lard Nar questioned curiously.

"Sorry. It's a habit," Dib replied apathetically with a small shrug. He didn't even bother to look at the captain to respond to him as his fingers flew across the keys at a rather impressive speed. "And… got it! Wow, talk about perfect timing! Gaz is on her laptop right now. I just have to get into her web camera…"

For a few moments, only the sounds of furious typing filled the air before finally a fuzzy image began displaying onscreen. "Gaz? Gaz!" The image slowly started to become clearer the more Dib typed. She had her laptop sitting idly on her bed beside her as she tapped away at her phone- was she playing a mobile game? God, if she was playing a game then he'd  _never_  be able to get her attention.

Dib waved his hand in front of the camera. "Gaz, it's me! Hello? Can you hear me?"

No response.

"Shit, the audio's no good… gimme a sec."

Another series of clicks emanated from the keyboard before a faint whirring sound could be heard as the distorted audio slowly started coming in clearer and clearer. "Is my volume up? Okay, good. Gaz! It's me, it's Dib! You can hear me right?"

Gaz abruptly dropped her phone onto her lap, her eyes going wide with shock before she spotted the source of the voice. "Dib?! What the- how the  _hell_  are you-"

Dib smiled sheepishly. "It's uh… don't worry about it. This connection is flimsy, so… I don't have long. How uh… how are things?"

Gaz seemed to settle back into a more comfortable position. She moved her laptop so it was sitting on her lap. "We're fine. Dad's worried sick about you."

"Is dad there right now?"

"No, he's back at the lab… he's been pulling double shifts for the past month… I don't know how he's still alive."

Dib chuckled. He had to admit, he'd missed his sister's quips and sense of humor. "Right. How long have I been gone?"

"About a month," she answered. "Why? Do they not have clocks in space?"

Dib gave her a sour look.  _"Ha-ha._ No, I just wanted to make sure I haven't been gone for too long. Listen, Gaz, I… we're getting ready to go on our first mission, and… it's gonna be dangerous. And I don't want to give you the whole 'I'm gonna die tomorrow' speech, but… I just want you to know…" Dib trailed off, struggling to find the right words to say. He had never been good at goodbyes.

"…I know," she answered. "It's fine. You go off and… do your thing. Just… don't get killed while you're in space. That's… a stupid way to die."

He smirked slightly. Personally, he thought dying a heroic death in space wasn't that bad. "Right. Be careful, okay? And one more thing…"

"Yeah?"

"Watch out for dad, okay?"

"…Sure. I will."

"Alright. Well… bye."

Gaz rolled her eyes before waving goodbye right as Dib cut off the connection.

"Your sister certainly is… a character," Lard Nar noted.

"Yeah… that's one way to put it."

* * *

Gaz huffed as she shut her laptop, preparing to return to her game to take her mind off of…  _that._ She knew that he wasn't intending to give her the "I'm gonna die tomorrow" speech, but that was sure as hell what it sounded like. Frankly, she wasn't in the mood to hear it. She had always thought that maybe Dib would get himself killed one day messing around with Zim. She was surprised that he managed to get through that conversation without mentioning him.

However, before she could get comfortable again, she was interrupted by a pounding on the door. Figuring it was just her father, Gaz trudged down the stairs and to the front door, yanking it open.

"Hey dad, Dib called, he's doing… okay…"

Her voice died in her throat when she saw who was on the other side of the door.

* * *

"Sir, all soldiers are in place and are awaiting your command," Atra stated with a salute.

"Good, good." He clicked the button on his earpiece. "Infera, come in. The status of your hacking team?"

_"_ _Everyone is in place and awaiting further orders, sir."_

"Good. We're closing in on the Massive- Atra, enable Stealth Mode for the ship."

"On it, captain." Atra quickly scurried over to the controls. "Stealth Mode has been enabled."

"Good. Set the ship to autopilot and slow down the speed. Operation Resist… is officially a go! Infera, move out now! Fleet squad, you are on standby until I tell you otherwise. Is that understood?"

_"_ _Yes sir!"_

* * *

"My Tallest!" The Irken elite bowed her head respectfully, wiggling her antennae in salute. "I apologize for interrupting your evening meal, but I bring you urgent news."

"Always during a meal," Purple muttered with an irritated huff, dropping his fork. "What is it?"

"It's… there is an abnormality in our security status."

Red nearly choked on his drink. "An abnormality?! Has there been a security breech?!"

The soldier shook her head. "Wha- no! No, it is nothing to be too worried about, my Tallest. We are already working to resolve the issue. It's just that we noticed some strange data patterns in the system, and we wanted to alert you just to be safe."

"Understood." Purple nodded firmly. "Keep uh… monitoring the situation, soldier. Now be gone with you!"

She saluted one more time before quickly and quietly exiting the room, the door sliding closed behind her. Red eyed his co-leader with a suspicious glare. "What was  _that_  all about?"

Purple shrugged carelessly. "Dunno, but she said they're working on it, so-"

"No, I mean, with  _you._ You just rushed her out of here! Don't you want to hear her out?"

"Not really, besides, they have the situation under control. Nothing gets past our firewalls anyway. Hey, let's order more drinks!"

Red sighed before calling in a service drone to get them refills. He had to admit, having a meal like this without an interruption for once  _would_  be pretty nice.

"It's been  _years_  since we've done this," Purple said with an almost dreamy sigh.

Red quirked an antenna curiously. "Done what? We have meals together all the time."

"No, I mean, it's been a while since we've had  _drinks_  together," he clarified, taking a sip from his glass. "Not since inauguration night."

"Now  _that_  was a party," Red said in agreement, grinning slightly. "Why don't we ever have parties like that anymore?"

"Guess we just got busy, you know, being the Tallest and all. There is  _some_  stuff we have to take care of."

Since becoming Tallest, there was one thing they had both come to accept, and it was that despite all the perks that came with being an all-powerful leader, there were some things they didn't have any control over it. But they didn't complain- they got whatever they want, when they wanted it. Who could complain over a few small technicalities? "We should do it again sometime," Red suggested. "Have another big party like that just because we can."

"Agreed," Purple acquiesced as he downed the rest of his drink.

As if on cue, the service drone walked in with their refills. Just as he was about to set their glasses down onto the table, the same soldier from earlier came bursting through the door, clearly panicked.

"My Tallest! There's been a security breech!"

Red abruptly stood up. "I thought you said you were handling it!"

"We were, but things got out of control and we-"

Red held up a hand to cease her rambling. "Ugh, okay, just- stop with the excuses! Get it under control!"

Purple stood up as well, his drink forgotten. "Hey, where are you going?!"

"I'm going to go see what's going on for myself," Red answered simply. "You coming?"

"Uh… I guess?"

The soldier threw her hands up as if to stop them. "My Tallest, with all due respect, for your safety, I must ask that you both remain here. The Massive will be placed on lockdown immediately for your protection."

"Thanks for the concern, but we'll be fine. We need to see what's going on."

"Please my Tallest, I must insist! It's not safe!"

"This is a direct order- uh… what's your name?"

"Min, sir."

"Min!" Red pointed a clawed finger down at her, his eyes narrowing into a heated stare. "This is a direct order from your Tallest- you will allow us to assess the situation ourselves and decide the next course of action, even if it puts us in danger. Do I make myself clear?"

"C-Crystal clear!" Min sputtered. "Right this way, sirs!"

* * *

Zim sat impatiently within the cockpit of the battle cruiser, tapping his foot against the interior. Who knows how long this could take? Even with a team of hackers, getting the security system down would be no easy task, especially with Irken-

_"_ _They're in! Okay, Zim, on my command, you'll take off and lead the others to the rear entrance of the ship. Get ready."_

Well. He guessed he spoke too soon. "Understood. I'm remaining on standby for the time being."

Zim watched as the ships from the other squad slowly came into view, approaching the Massive. Just how many people had Lard Nar roped into this suicide mission? There had to be hundreds- possibly even  _thousands_  of ships, swarming around the Massive and firing away. Lard Nar had mentioned that he'd garnered some support over the past few years, but he'd never imagined that it was on a level like  _this_. Who knew so many people had the guts to go against the Irken Empire? It was almost admirable.

At least, it would've been, if he weren't one of them. How confusing it must be for the others, to see an Irken fighting alongside them. Oh, if they only knew.

_"_ _Zim, you're up! Go now, while there's still an opening!"_

Zim was spurred into action as he reached for his microphone. "Alright, the lot of you, follow me! We're heading in."

Underneath the hoard of tiny battle cruisers gathered around the Massive, there was a small opening near the rear entrance, right next to the docking station. Zim swiftly led his ship into the docking area, the others following closely behind him. Once their ships were all safely landed, Zim hopped out of his ship and motioned for the others to do the same.

_"_ _Shit,"_  Fruo muttered in a breathy voice, gaping as he took in his surroundings. "What's with you guys and this fuckton of ships?"

"This is just a small portion of them," Zim said dismissively. "Believe me, there are tons more on Irk and Devastis, and  _that's_  not even counting-"

Fruo held up a hand. "Alright, enough bragging. So, Zim, you know your leaders better than anyone. Where could they be?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say either the dining hall or the control room. But… this isn't going to be as simple as walking into a room. The security systems are down right now. Everyone is panicked and on high alert. This is actually… the  _worst_  possible time to be here..."

"Zim, relax," Dei said reassuringly, placing her hand on his shoulder. "It's better than just going in with no proper plan. Now we should get going, who knows how long Dib and the others can keep this up."

"Quick question, how are we supposed to uh…  _detain_  the Tallest?" one of the other soldiers, Darli, asked with a raised hand.

Zim gestured to the two pairs of handcuffs attached to his belt-loop. "These. They're known as Vortian Sleepercuffs. Impossible to get out of, or so they say.  _I_ could probably get out of them, but-"

"Alright, got it. Let's go."

"Wait, how about we split up into teams?" Fruo suggested. "You know, to cover more ground. There's ten of us here. Five of us can go look for the Tallest, the other five can keep watch, cover your backs, at least until the other squads get here. Then whenever you find the Tallest, give a signal, then we all meet back here."

"No," Darli refused, shaking his head. "We are better off sticking together. Nothing good comes from splitting up."

Fruo narrowed his eyes as he approached the Heirian with slow steps. "In case you haven't noticed, we're a little low on time here. We don't have the  _luxury_  to stay together."

"And what if we lose someone?" Darli retorted, stepping forward into the Enian's face. "What would you say then?"

"This is war, we're gonna lose people whether we like it or not, so  _suck it up, and for fuck's sake, try to stay alive!"_

**_"_** ** _Enough!"_** Zim bellowed. "I won't tolerate petty arguments on my squad, got it? Darli is right. In this scenario, nothing good will come if we split up. We'll just end up getting captured like that. Even if it slows us down, we have to stay together. Is that understood?"

Fruo and the others reluctantly nodded their heads.

"Good. Now let's move."

Biting back a snarky reply, Fruo fell into line behind the others as they made their way out of the docking area and through the back entrance.

"It'll be alright Fruo," Dei whispered. "I've got your back."

Fruo smiled softly back at her. "I know you do, my  _dulcis_."

* * *

"Human… help me…"

_"_ _Tak?"_  Gaz quirked a brow. "What are you doing here? Why are you all..."

The Irken was just barely holding herself together, clinging on by a thread. Her uniform was torn and tattered, one of her antenna bent awkwardly while the other sat limply on the side of her head. Light pink blood stained both her uniform and her jade skin. One of her eyes was swollen shut, a nasty purple bruise having formed right underneath it. From what Gaz could tell, the doorway was the only thing keeping her upright.

"A…Accident… ship crash… need help…"

"Uh huh…" No. No way. She wasn't like her brother- she didn't play around with aliens. "Why should I help you? If memory serves me correctly, you were trying to destroy the Earth last time you were here."  _And_ , if she  _also_  remembered correctly, Tak seemed to be a bit more  _competent_  than Zim. She may have actually  _succeeded_.

Tak glared at her with her good eye, her vision becoming more and more blurred by the second. "Doesn't matter," she slurred. "Not here to hurt. Please… help me…"

Well, one thing was for sure, those injuries weren't fake. "Well, must be pretty bad if you're willing to go to a human for help. But let's say, hypothetically speaking, that I  _do_  decide to help you. I let you stay here, I  _don't_  call the government and tell them there's an alien in my house, and you recover. How can I know that you won't, you know, go ballistic and invade the planet?"

"…You don't," she finally answered after a moment of silence. "'M asking you… to help me. But if you won't… I'll find someone else."

"You will?" Gaz asked incredulously, referring to her battered state. "I don't think you'll get very far."

As if further proving her point, Tak slumped against the doorway, struggling to heave herself upright again.

"Fine. I'll help you out. But once you've recovered, you're out of here, got it? Whatever you do after that is none of my business. And just know that you're going to owe me big time for this."

"What… do you want..?" Tak choked out.

Gaz placed a hand on her chin thoughtfully. "For starters, I'd like it if you  _didn't_  go crazy and try to destroy the planet. Earth is off limits to you. I'll… figure out the rest later."

Tak made a noise akin to a snort. "Please… this rock isn't even… worth the effort anymore..."

Gaz had to admit, she was kind of impressed that she could keep up her attitude even in this state. "Then…" she stuck out her hand, "do we have a deal?"

Gaz was no fool. She knew all too well not to trust her-  _too much_ , anyhow. But from what she could tell, she appeared harmless. Even if she wanted to hurt Gaz, she wouldn't have been able to manage it in her current state. Besides, Tak didn't have a base anymore after her "father's" hot dog stand blew up. Assuming that she truly did crash here, she most likely didn't have the materials to exact a plan for world conquest.

Tak reached out to take her hand in a handshake, however before their hands could touch, she collapsed, falling forward. Before she could fall to the ground Gaz quickly caught her, allowing her to lean against her for support.

"Yeah, you're  _definitely_  going to owe me for this."

With that, Gaz heaved the Irken up, slipping an arm around her waist and wrapping Tak's limp arm around her neck. "Come on, you gotta walk a little bit. I can't carry you up the stairs."

Tak's working antenna quirked in response and her feet began moving ever so slightly, taking slow and cautious steps up the stairs. After a few agonizing minutes of having to wake Tak up again every 5 seconds, the two of them finally made it to Gaz's room, where she promptly plopped the Irken down onto her bed.

"Gross," Gaz grumbled, her face scrunching up in disgust, "you're gonna get your weird alien blood all over my bed."

If Tak heard her, she didn't say anything, as she was seemingly already asleep as soon as she hit the mattress. Gaz watched her curiously for a moment- she didn't have the same fascination with aliens that her brother had, but even she was a bit shocked to have an  _alien_  in her  _bed_. And now that she had a chance to examine her, she found that her injuries really were quite gruesome. She was covered in every form of bruise, cut, and burn.

"Hey," she piped up again after a few moments of silence, "so… how exactly do I give an Irken first aid?"

No response.

"Fine," she huffed. "Guess I'll just… let you sleep… in my bed…"

So she was on the couch. It's not as though she could just have Tak stay in the living room anyway- her father would have a fit. She was without her disguise, and Gaz wasn't really keen on having Tak become her father's next experiment. Good thing he wasn't home much these days.

With a sigh, she reached for her GameSlave and headed back down to the living room.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst warning..?
> 
> also, we're nearing the end of this installment of the mothman & spaceboy series! in fact- I think the next chapter will be the last!
> 
> thank you all for all of your support so far- it keeps me writing!
> 
> with all of that being said- enjoy chapter 14!

When they entered the corridor, it was exactly the kind of disorganized mess that Zim had expected. The emergency lockdown program was definitely in place- if the sirens and flashing red lights were any indication. Irkens of all different ranks flooded throughout the hallways, panicked and confused. Tallers stood at the end of the hall, barking orders at the others to keep them in line.

"This is Emergency Protocol 5A! We're under attack and the security system is down! The lot of you, stay together and protect our Tallest!"

"Yes ma'am!"

Zim found himself being abruptly shoved backwards. Fruo suddenly jumped in front of him, with Dei right by his side. "Stay behind us, Zim. We'll cover for you."

"But-"

"Damn it you idiot, if they know it's you then they'll never let us through! We'll distract them long enough for you to find the Tallest and get the hell out of here!" Dei abruptly snapped.

Both Fruo and Zim stared at her, wide-eyed, astonished by her outburst. Dei let out a frustrated sigh. "Quit looking at me and move!"

Zim let out an undignified squeal as he was suddenly pushed even further backwards, his squad jumping in front of him as a means of protection. "Wait! We were supposed to stay-"

"Together," Darli said as he placed a hand on Zim's shoulder. "I know. Zena and I are coming with you. You can't take both of them on by yourself. I've already called the backup squads in to help here. So we need to move."

Zim nodded slowly before shaking his head to regain his focus. "Right… right! Yes! Of course! Come on!"

After making brief eye contact with Zim, Fruo let a dangerous grin slip across his face. Go big or go home, right? They had to know by now that they were under attack. With his mind made up, the Enian spread his arms out wide. "Hey, Irken scumbags! This is the beginning of the end for you!"

The Taller standing at the very end of the hallway, Marin, was the first to notice. "You," she hissed, "intruder! Enian filth… we should've known that your people would turn on us one day!"

The confused murmurs of the smaller Irkens slowly died down as all eyes fell on Fruo. "Yeah… and it's not just us either. It's the Vortians, too… the Meekrobs… the Heirians… it's every planet, every race that you've oppressed, slaughtered, and enslaved."

Marin deadpanned for a moment before suddenly erupting with boisterous laughter. "Oh, so that's what all of this is? A sad little coup d'état. Gotta hand it to you, you caught us off-guard. But guys… you have to know…" She trailed off, making a vague gesture in Fruo's direction, "this display? It's sad. It truly is. I mean, since becoming commander I've seen quite a few of these little… nuisances, but at least they were smart about it! I mean, really? This? This is downright suicide."

"Maybe," Fruo admitted, "but ya gotta admit, we got further than you ever expected, didn't we?"

Marin narrowed her eyes, confused. "What are you talking about? We have you surrounded!"

Fruo smirked, pointing to the end of the hallway, right next to where Marin stood. "Well, I'm just saying, I can guarantee you didn't see that Irken sneak past you just a few seconds ago, did you?"

Marin gasped, eyes widening to the size of saucers, her mouth falling open. She began frantically whipping her head in either direction, wildly searching for this supposed Irken. "W-Wha- impossible! You're bluffing!"

"Am I?" Fruo challenged. "I can tell by the look on your face that you don't believe that for a second- you know I'm not lying."

"B-But I would have- someone would-"

He scoffed. "What- these sad little servants you like to boss around so much? They're like puppets, you see- they don't move unless ya make 'em move. Not to mention, I'd say Zim blends in pretty well- that whole cloning thing you guys use actually turned out to be pretty useful after all."

The soldiers exchanged glances with one another, almost as if they were ashamed.

"Yeah, you heard me. Listen up shorties- this is the beginning of the end. Looking at all of you here, I can pretty much guarantee that the lot of you are going to end up serving her or some other stuck up Irken for the rest of your pitiful lives. Some of you here might be okay with that- but listen well, 'cause this is your only warning. Spread this message far and wide, with all the others. No. More. This time, the resistance strikes back. And if you wanna live, it'd be wise for the rest of you to do the same."

By this point, Marin was seething, her jaw locked tightly as her gloved hands clenched into fists at her sides. "How dare you try and manipulate my soldiers?! All of you, if you don't want to be thrown out the airlock for treason, attack them now!"

The soldiers took offensive stances, retrieving their weapons from their holsters. With the grin never leaving his face, Fruo shrugged. "Suit yourself." He reached into his pocket, pulling out his communicator. "Lard Nar, go ahead and send the next squad in. Looks like these idiots chose the Empire over freedom. Have fun getting pushed around for the next- how long do Irkens live? Oh yeah- six hundred years or so."

Fruo just barely managed to get the communicator back into his pocket before the first soldier charged at him.

* * *

When Zim heard the gunshots firing from just a few feet away, he fought the urge to go back. It wasn't what the others would've wanted anyway- for him to come back. They had a mission, after all, and going back would only jeopardize it.

"I've seen that look before," Zena said, "the look of a conflicted soldier."

"Please," Zim scoffed. "I just can't believe they're all stupid enough to take on the Empire."

"You realize that that includes you now, right?" Darli teased. "If we're all morons for trying to fight against the Empire, then so are you."

He smirked. Ah, well. He's been a moron all his life, right? Why stop now? "It's strange," he noted, "that these hallways are so empty. I'd expected them to have guards stationed in every hall, but… everyone's so lost, so confused. Since the Control Brains aren't functioning properly, I don't think anyone knows what to do."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Zena asked.

He shook his head. "No, it's not."

The Control Brains were, essentially, the guiding light of the Irken race. They knew all, saw all, and without them- there was no Empire. Not even the Tallest, who were regarded as gods, could ever hope to take their place.

"…I see," she replied, her voice almost somber.

Zim fiddled with the hem of his uniform as he walked, a nervous habit that he'd never quite figured out how to break. "Right now… for the first time… Zim is afraid."

"…So am I," Darli admitted quietly.

"…Me too," Zena added.

A tense silence followed afterwards, but it wasn't so much awkward as much as it was… understanding. Never before had Zim felt this kind of camaraderie, even all the way back when he was doing training in the academy. He had never been the kind to rely on teammates- after all, he'd found no need for a team. He'd lived his whole life by himself, nothing but him and eventually his SIR unit. Being surrounded by people who were there to support him was an alien feeling, but certainly not an unwelcome one.

"No sense in getting cold feet now," Darli said, breaking the silence. "We'll be fine, yeah?"

"Sure," Zim lied, a vague feeling of panic rising in his chest. "Yup. We'll be fine." He straightened himself, smoothing out his uniform and drawing in deep breaths to calm himself. "I heard their voices in this room up here. This is the Control Room."

"Guess they're actually doing their jobs for once," Darli quipped.

"And one more thing," Zim said as they approached the door, "let me do the talking. If either of you say anything you'll get yourselves killed."

"Right, cause you're such a great speaker," Darli muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Silence! I'm an excellent speaker. Now stand back, and let Zim handle this." He pulled his laser gun out of its holster and shot the fingerprint pad. Sparks flew and the three of them shielded their eyes, but heard the door click open in response. He then reared his leg back and kicked the doors with as much energy as he could muster. They came open forcefully, the light from the hallways spilling into the dim room.

Zena cleared her throat, stepping in front of Zim. "Almighty Tallests Red and Purple, by order of the Resistance, you are hereby under arrest!"

Large, Irken eyes blinked slowly- almost innocently- staring at the three of them as if they had lost their minds. Barely a second passed before hordes of guards flooded the entrance where they stood, pointing all kinds of guns and spears at them. "State your business here!"

Before Zim could so much as open his mouth to answer, he was interrupted by a voice he knew all too well. "Zim?" Red asked, peering at him from behind the protection of the soldiers. "Is that you?"

The urge to bow or wiggle his antennae surged deeply within him, but he managed to refrain- he would not show weakness in front of them. Never again. "The one and only."

Red narrowed his eyes before pushing through the crowd of soldiers, urging for his co-leader to do the same. "Leave us," he ordered.

"But sir, that would leave you defenseless!"

"I said leave us!" Red shouted, and the guards immediately recoiled, retreating to the other side of the room.

Purple watched as the guards stepped to the sides of the room to give them space. He wouldn't let them get too far, however. If there was one thing he'd learned, it was to never underestimate how dangerously stupid Zim was. "So Zim, uh... what are you doing here? Could you really not just... you know... stay away?"

"You could say that," Zim retorted.

"Let me just- get this straight: we let you live, and now you're back? Are you the one that's behind this little coup d'état?" Red waved his fingers in a disgusted motion.

"Me? Of course not- but you could say I had something to do with it, yes."

"...What is all this for? Revenge? Or are you really trying to redeem yourself by 'saving' all the people on the planets we've conquered?" He attempted to hold back his chuckles, but they kept coming before eventually turning into full-blown laughter.

Purple joined in right alongside him, slinging his arm around Red's neck. "Y-You know what? Go right ahead! I'd love to see you try!"

There it was again- he was met with the laughter of his superiors. Years ago he would've laughed right along with them, blissfully unaware that he was the source of their laughter. Oh how times had changed. "If you think this is about redemption, then you're sorely mistaken. For years I thought I was a good little soldier, carrying out the orders of my Tallest in hopes that maybe one day, one day, they would finally see me as something other than a huge joke. But now- now I know who I am, what I am, and if that doesn't terrify you down to your very core, then it should."

"…And why's that?"

"Because," Zim said as he carefully unhooked the pairs of handcuffs from his beltloop, his eyes never leaving those of his two former leaders', "if I was dangerous before, when I had no idea what I was doing… what do you think I am now?"

Min's quiet voice suddenly chirped up as the Tallest struggled to come up with a response. "My Tallest, please forgive me for the interruption, but… the breach is getting worse. More and more of the enemies have invaded the ship. We're trying our best to hold them off, but until reinforcements get here…"

"So this can go one of two ways," he said as he idly swung the handcuffs around on his finger. "You two can either come quietly, now… or this ship burns."

"You wouldn't dare," Red hissed. "Not with so many of your own soldiers onboard!"

"My soldiers will be fine, I can assure you. But you lot? Even if you all managed to escape… could the armada really afford the loss of the Massive?"

They weren't fools, despite evidence pointing to the contrary. Tallests Red and Purple knew all too well that if they were to lose the Massive it would be a major setback. It could, theoretically, hold them back for years. And if the Resistance kept this up, their resources were going to start dying left and right. The more movement the Resistance gained, the more the Empire ended up losing in the long run. They could threaten all they want, but it was starting to become abundantly clear to the both of them that their conquered people no longer feared the punishment for treason.

Zim walked towards them with a noticeable sway of hips, presenting his usual swagger in a way he never had before, at least, not in front of his former leaders. "And one more thing… just as a word of advice from an old friend… if you even attempt to put your hands on me, you can say goodbye to the Massive, and all the ships on it. That's… hm, probably quite a few hundred battle cruisers and escape pods, no?"

"He's lying!" Purple declared. "There's no way that's-"

"Sirs, foreign explosive devices have been found planted all over the inside of the ship… there are hordes of enemy soldiers heading towards this room… we're vastly outnumbered. Even if we could…"

Red looked between Min's panicked expression and Zim's taunting grin. Irk be damned, the bastard did it. He'd thought of every possible outcome and found a way to bypass it. If it weren't for the circumstances, he almost would've been proud of the little shit.

"Red, what do you want to do?" Purple asked in a hushed whisper. "We can run. There are escape pods just outside that door-"

"And leave the Massive to burn, or worse, in the hands of the enemy? No thanks." He turned his head back to face Zim, his expression completely impassive. "I think I'll take my chances with Zim."

"Red!"

"We'll be fine- er, mostly. Zim doesn't want us dead; if he did he would've tried to kill us by now," he reasoned. "We'll accept your terms, Zim, under the condition that the Massive stays with the Irken Empire. And- if you're hoping to get information out of us, then we expect to be treated like anyone else aboard the ship. Not like common prisoners. Understood?"

"Commander Zim!" Zena exclaimed. "We can't do that- the Massive could contain crucial data!"

Zim shook his head. "No. We don't need it anymore- it's served its purpose in this mission. All we need is these two." He approached them carefully, circling them like a hawk would circle its prey, before swiftly coming up behind Red and grabbing both his wrists. "You've got yourselves a deal."

As Zim moved to place the cuffs on Purple, Zena cleared her throat and prepared to speak. "Very well then. Former Tallests Red and Purple, you are hereby under arrest for murder, enslavement, wrongful imprisonment, theft, and- much more, I'm sure. You will both be taken into custody under the order of captain Lard Nar and the Resistance, where you will be thoroughly interrogated before facing a trial on Judgmentia for your sentence."

Darli reached for the communicator in his pocket and pressed the button. "This is Private Darli, the mission was a success. Tallests Red and Purple are both in custody. This is your verbal confirmation; you are to deactivate the explosives now."

"On it, Darli, sir."

"Min," Red barked over his shoulder, "until we get out of this, I'm placing you in command for the time being. I trust that you will be there to lead the others in our absence."

Min's eyes grew so wide she feared they would pop out of her head. "M-Me?! You want… me to be the Tallest?"

"It's purely temporary, but yes." Purple turned to address the crowd of confused soldiers that had gathered around the corners of the room. "You lot, listen well. Min is your Tallest, your Lady, until further notice. Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal, sir!"

Zim pulled the communicator from his belt. "This is Commander Zim. The mission was a success. We… we can fall back now."

* * *

The first thing on Zim's mind when he climbed out of the ship was seeing Dib.

He didn't know why, if he was being honest. But ever since he'd walked out of that room with the Tallest in handcuffs, all he wanted to do was see him, showing off his captured leaders as if they were prized possessions. Besides, he'd imagined that Dib probably missed him, didn't he? Before they were due to depart Dib was fussing over his weakened state and newfound vulnerability- Zim had to keep reassuring him that he would be fine, even though he himself wasn't even sure of that at the time. And if he was being honest, he still wasn't. But he was fine now, in this very moment, and he was glad to be. Truthfully this is the first time he's ever felt the urge to celebrate with someone else, and he wanted that someone to be Dib.

So he walked with a little more pep in his step, faster than he normally would. When he approached the computer room, however, he was disappointed to find that Dib wasn't present. The Heirian, however, was still typing away, her fingers flying across the keys at speeds that Zim didn't even think Dib was capable of.

"Infera," Zim said her name with mild amusement, "you're still here."

Infera lifted her head up immediately, meeting his eyes. "Zim!" she exclaimed with a bright grin. She rose from her seat, her chair sliding out from underneath her. "Congratulations! Damn, can you believe it?! Thanks to you, we've got the Tallest in our friggin' basement! God, we- I- lots of people owe you for this, Zim. If it weren't for you, we might not have ever captured them."

Zim couldn't help but let her praise go to his head a little bit. He puffed out his chest in pride, smirking. "Well of course! Did you expect any less having Zim on your side? Without me your mission would've been a terrible failure."

She failed to stifle a laugh. "Right. Well, still, I owe you a personal thank-you. See… I don't know if you uh… get the significance of this, being Irken and all, but…" she trailed off, unsure of how to word her thoughts, "I've got a family back home, you see. A husband and five little ones. And thanks to you… I think I'll get to see them very soon. So… you have my sincere gratitude."

A family. Admittedly, he really didn't get the significance. There was no such thing as family on Irk. No mother, father, sister, brother- there was no need when they reproduced via cloning. Yet from his time on Earth, he had come to understand that to some, family was an extremely important thing. Dib had expressed what he would call love for his family multiple times. It almost made Zim wish he could feel that kind of connection to another person. He may have Dib now- but it wasn't the same as having a parent- or being one.

Then again, Earth babies are hideous, dumb, gross, and terrifying. Maybe it was for the best. Yup, definitely for the best.

"Yes, well… good for you. Zim…" he cleared his throat, his volume dropping to just above a whisper, "Zim hopes that you reunite with your offspring shortly."

Infera beamed, showing off her sharp white teeth. "Thanks. So, I imagine you're looking for Dib?"

The question seemed innocent enough, but something about the way it was posed suggested otherwise. Zim's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What makes you say that?"

"Oh- sorry, Dib sorta told me that you guys were together... uh… congratulations?"

Zim huffed- of course Dib felt the need to go spilling the details of their romantic lives to everyone. Then again- he was worthy of showing off. Perhaps it wasn't all bad…

"Well, anyway, if you're looking for him, he said he had to go talk to Lard Nar about something, so I would try his room or maybe Dib's."

"Alright." With an awkward wave, Zim quickly left the room, his excitement from earlier flaring up again at the thought of reuniting with his human.

"Don't be too loud, these walls are thinner than you think!" Infera called after him, and although Zim couldn't see her expression, he imagined that she was wearing that stupid fat grin she always wore. If he weren't in such a hurry he would've turned around and given her a piece of his mind.

The captain's room was closer, so he guessed he would try his room first. After turning a few more corners, he was met with a rather confusing sight. Just like Infera had said, Lard Nar and Dib were talking amongst themselves- but rather than in his room, they were standing right in front of the door, whispering quietly. What was so secretive that they felt the need to whisper?

It was probably nothing- at least, nothing that concerned him. Yet for some reason, Zim couldn't help but be curious. There was no reason for Dib to keeping secrets- not anymore. So with his mind made up, he pressed himself against the wall and quirked his antennae to listen closely.

"…she destroyed it, but I kept a copy of the blueprints just in case."

"I see. Atra had mentioned something about it when I interviewed her, but she never really went in depth about it. But I… I just don't feel right about using her invention when she explicitly said…"

"But we're ready this time!" Dib insisted. "If we make some tweaks and changes here and there, alongside an actual plan, we can do it! This time, we have the upper hand. Right now the entire Irken Empire is in shambles. And I think this chip is the key to taking it down completely."

The captain frowned as he scanned over the blueprints Dib gave to him once more. "But… to rebuild the chip again… it would take months! Not to mention that we don't have the technology for it on this ship!"

"Look, it's definitely gonna take some time- time that we really don't have. But I think we're in a good enough position that we can manage it-"

"Meekrob."

"What?"

"Meekrob," the captain repeated. "They have the technology. Besides, that's where it all started, isn't it? Meekrob!"

"Uh-"

"This is perfect!" Lard Nar exclaimed. "We'll stop on planet Meekrob, reconstruct the chip, and make our way to Irk from there."

"Y-Yes, exactly!" Dib said in agreement.

"Gosh, I knew there was a reason I recruited you! You're positively brilliant, you are!" Before Dib could protest the Vortian was pulling him into an awkward but tight embrace. Dib coughed, clearly embarrassed, but hugged him back as best as he could given their obvious height difference.

Lard Nar, as if snapping out of a trance, quickly pulled back, clearing his throat. "Ahem. My apologies. Yes. I'll announce it first thing tomorrow. Or- no. No. This can wait- at least for a little while. Tomorrow- we're celebrating."

"C-Celebrating?"

"Does this not call for a celebration? We've been through hell this past month- we all deserve to relax for a bit, no? Now come on, don't you have someone waiting for you?"

A wave of heat crashed over Dib's cheeks as he grinned sheepishly. "Y-Yeah, I do. Thanks for hearing me out. And… for recruiting me."

Lard Nar waved him off. "No need to thank me. But, you're welcome. Now go."

* * *

Dib laughed as he was practically pushed down the hallway. He'd never expected word to get around so fast- he figured that Infera wasn't the best at keeping secrets. Not that it was really a secret anyway, what with the constant looks the two shared, regardless of who was in the room with them. Still, he found himself… excited? He never thought he'd catch himself thinking about Zim like that, but he was- he was ecstatic to see his alien again. They hadn't been apart for very long yet Dib felt like it had been months since they'd last seen each other.

Just as he was about to turn the corner to head for Zim's room, he was pleasantly surprised to find the Irken standing before him- however, contrary to what Dib was expecting, Zim didn't look very happy to see him.

Dib swallowed as he locked eyes with Zim. Had he been there the whole time? "Zim!" he exclaimed. "God, I was so worried about you. Are you okay?" He reached forward to pull Zim into an embrace, but Zim promptly stepped backwards, like the very idea of touching him was disgusting.

Dib tilted his head, the relieved smile instantaneously dropping from his face. "Zim, what's wrong?"

"Don't play stupid with me," he hissed. "I heard everything. About the chip."

Finally- it was all starting to click into place. Zim had been there, and if he heard everything, then he most certainly knew…

Only two options presented themselves to Dib in this situation. Either start babbling out excuses and apologies, or run and hope that he was faster than Zim. Thankfully, his mouth made up his mind for him before he had to think too hard on it.

"I-I'm sorry!" he blurted. "Zim, please let me explain-"

"You said that you destroyed the chip. Yet here you are- saying how it was actually that wretched science drone and how now- now, you're proposing plans to use some new and improved version?"

"Zim-"

"I need you to do something for me Dib. Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. Did you, or did you not, destroy the chip?"

"I-"

"Answer the question Dib!"

And Dib tried- oh, how he tried to look the Irken in the eye. But those big, scrutinizing eyes- full of so many new, raw emotions and untold stories- they kept his mouth sealed shut and his eyes pinned to his feet.

Dib finally felt his eyes freeing him as he quickly looked away, and when he looked up, his heart twisted to find that Zim had both hands on his hips, eyes closed tightly as if he were trying to prevent the flow of tears.

"So you lied, then. You had the chip this whole time and you didn't think to tell me."

Dib wracked his brain for an explanation. "Zim, please… you have to understand, we were just barely starting to be friends then, I still wasn't sure…"

"Right, and in all the time that we've been friends since then, you didn't think once that you could tell me?"

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal, Zim," Dib argued, feeling himself growing defensive. "Besides, it's not like I expected to see Atra again. I thought all of this would be over."

"Well, it's not, is it?!" Zim shouted. "Of course… why should I have ever expected someone who was once my enemy to ever trust me completely…"

Dib stepped closer. Why did it feel like Zim was getting further and further away from him? Even now- things still hadn't changed. He'd still chase him all over the universe after all. "I do trust you. Wholeheartedly. I've wanted to tell you for so long, but I… I was afraid…"

"Of what?"

"Of this," he whispered. "Of losing you. This… this is me losing you, isn't it?"

Zim didn't have an answer for him, kicking at the floor with the tip of his boot.

Dib ran a hand through his mussed dark hair. "I'm sorry," he said, as it was the only thing he could think to say. It was hardly enough, it may never be enough, but it was the only thing that came to him. Over and over again, repeating in his mind like a broken record.

"No you're not," Zim snapped coldly. "This runs far deeper than that infernal device. I am sure this is what you intended all along, is it not? Will you tell me next that your 'feelings' for me were a lie too?"

Dib met his eyes to find that the warmth in them was fading, reverting back to the cold cruelty that he'd become so accustomed to as a child. And for some reason, that hurt even worse than Zim's icy words, knowing that he was starting to look like he did back then- confident and merciless and alien. "No, Zim, I swear… I couldn't lie about something like that. Do you really think I could lie about falling for my mortal enemy, someone who I despised for years? That's not just some shit that I can make up- it's real."

"Well, forgive me if I'm having a hard time believing that right now," Zim retorted. A bitter, crooked grin somehow made its way across his lips, contorting his furious expression into something more akin to crazed anguish. The red rims around his glistening eyes, the unfit smile- the shaky, jittery laugh. "Ha… everyone that Zim has ever held in high regard has lied to him… first my Tallest, and now the Dib… ha…"

He wanted to do so much in that moment. He wanted to hug him tight, kiss the breath out of him, hold him while he beat on his chest and screamed and yelled about how he was a horrible person that didn't deserve anything. He would've gladly accepted that. And it killed him that he couldn't so much as speak- let alone move.

"My Tallest let me down… you let me down…" he paused to laugh dryly, "Even Gir has let me down."

"…Is there anything I can do?" Dib asked quietly.

"As a matter of fact, there is." Zim closed the distance between them until their faces were mere inches apart, before an almost animalistic growl tore itself from his throat. He jabbed a clawed finger in Dib's chest, and had it not been for the gloves he was wearing, his claw would've torn right through Dib's uniform- and possibly his skin too. "You will stay away from Zim from now on. If you ever come near me again I'll tear you apart, you got that?!"

A part of Dib wanted to fight back, to beg Zim to listen to him in hopes that he could appeal to whatever shreds of regard for him that he had left. But all he could do was nod obediently in the face of Zim's fury.

Zim lowered his finger, turned, and made his way down the hallway. And if Dib had had the strength to look up again, he would've seen the thick tears that now poured down the Irken's face in heavy streams.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, the final chapter of this installment of the mothman & spaceboy series! I thank you all so so so very much for your continued support and your kind words! 
> 
> This is essentially just a little bonus chapter- not much happens (but I wanted an excuse to drag this out to 15 chapters hhhh)
> 
> Just like with the last one, I will be taking a small break from this series- but fear not, the next fic in this series (which may or may not be the last) will definitely be up shortly. 
> 
> Now then, without further adieu, please enjoy the final chapter of "the pawns"!

"Captain," Atra said gently through the door, "may I come in?"

"Certainly."

She stepped inside, the door sliding shut behind her. The captain's private chambers were almost childlike in a way- decorated with posters and papers of all kinds. She'd never imagined him as the type to be into that sort of thing. It was almost endearing. "I am sorry to disturb you at this hour, I understand that it's terribly late-"

Lard Nar pushed the stack of papers he had sitting in front of him aside. He rose from his desk and smiled brightly, waving off her concerns with a gloved hand. "We're in space, my dear. It's only late because the ship says it is. Besides, my species doesn't require much sleep anyway. So, what can I do for you?"

She wasn't sure how the captain would react to what she was about to say- but Atra realized that she'd already subconsciously made her choice a while ago. This was non-negotiable- something that had to be done no matter what. "It is my understanding that you want to go to Meekrob to reconstruct the chip."

Lard Nar's languid smile immediately dropped, his expression contorting to one of panic. "Er,  _yes_ , but- listen, Atra, I understand that this chip is your invention-"

"It is not-  _my invention,_ specifically," she corrected. "It was my idea, sure, and I aided with the production. But ultimately it was my devoted team of scientists who put all of their hard work into it." She sighed deeply. "Captain, if… if you truly believe that a device like that could help… then I suppose I cannot fault you for wanting to use it."

"R-Really?" he sputtered in disbelief.

"Yes, really," she affirmed. "Perhaps it was a mistake for me to get rid of the original. For that, I apologize. I only ever thought a device with so much blood on it would end in failure."

"I understand why you would think so," he admitted. Truth be told, he was a bit ashamed himself to be considering using it. "But you must understand, as the captain… I have to make decisions for everyone here sometimes. I hope you can forgive me for this."

She couldn't stand to listen to him pour his heart out to her- he genuinely sounded angry with himself for going against her wishes and proceeding with the production of the chip. Never before had her opinion been treated like it meant something, like it held some sort of  _value_. But now that she had gotten used to it, she never wanted it to stop.

"It is not you who should be asking for forgiveness. It is me… for what I am about to tell you."

"Why? Atra, what's the matter?"

"…I'm heading out, captain. To Meekrob. First thing tomorrow morning."

_"Meekrob?!"_  he exclaimed, eyes widening from beneath his goggles. "But why, we're already on our way there!" he reasoned.

"I understand, but… Meekrob's changed, since you've been there, since  _I've_  been there. I don't know if they'll be so keen to help you. So... I'm going to offer them a trade."

"A trade?"

She nodded solidly. "Yes. I'm sure that by now I'm a highly wanted criminal- for disobeying, for getting my comrades killed. I'm sure that if they have me as collateral… they'll happily help you with the chip."

His face hardened, his hands clenching into fists. "Atra, are you absolutely mad?! There's no way I'm letting you go through with this! You hear me?! No way! Just-  _stay_  with us, yeah? We will go to Meekrob  _together_ , and if they have a problem with you, then they can take it up with me."

Atra bowed her head, preferring to look at her feet rather than in the eyes of her captain. There was still a tiny part of her, even after all of this, that still felt the tiniest bit of shame for suggesting this. Perhaps that was why she had to do this- to finally get rid of what she once was and become something else. Something brand new. She never much liked the old her anyway. "I do not think you understand… I must atone. For my friends. Their blood is on my hands. I've been trying to make up for it by joining the Resistance, and with this… with this final act, I think… just maybe… I can be redeemed."

"They could kill you."

"That's a risk I'll have to take."

"Well it's not a risk  _I'm_  willing to take!" Lard Nar argued. "As your captain, I forbid it! I'm ordering you to-"

She merely shook her head. "Sorry, but this is one order I'll have to disobey. I do not know for sure, whether I should trust the paths of fate or go on my own. The dreaded fate vs. free will… it's one of the universe's oldest questions. But there's one thing I do know, and it's that I will only continue to carry the weight of their deaths on my shoulders for the rest of my life- it is my burden to bear, and no one else's. I will not let you or anyone else pay for my mistakes. But perhaps… I can make the burden the slightest bit easier." She suddenly found the courage to look up again, to face him like a soldier. Before, mentioning her fallen comrades only brought her a deep sorrow. Now they seemed to be a source of strength, an endless reserve of untapped energy and passion.

"Please," he begged, "let's talk about this first, okay? We will figure this out. There's no reason for you to throw yourselves at them. You've done more than enough for this team, Atra, I'm  _begging_  you." He met her eyes, hoping to find a sign in them that she understood him and would maybe change her mind, but all he found was that same unwavering confidence. She was dead serious about this- no amount of his pitiful pleading would change that.

"This is personal. But even more than that, it'll buy you all some time. I'll have them contact you as soon as they have me in custody."

"You don't know that they won't help us," he whispered weakly.

"But there's a chance, and I can guarantee they'll become more suspicious of you once they discover that I'm with you. We don't have time for that. You need to have the chip remade immediately so we can begin the journey to Irk," she explained.

"…Right then."

"Right." She smiled softly before gently gripping the captain's hand between both of hers. "You are the only one I have entrusted with this secret. If the others ask, tell them I have decided to… go in a different direction."

She couldn't tell through the tinted goggles, but judging by the crack in his voice, she almost thought he was crying. "Yes. Of course."

Atra lightly patted the top of his hand before slowly pulling away, letting her hands slip away from his. "See you around then, captain."

He stood straight, recomposing himself to look more formal as he saluted her.

"See you around."


End file.
